Showing results for "DARK" in Humorous

You meet the most interesting men in medieval prisons. This one time, I met a guy who offered me immortality for the low, low price of changing my diet. I didn’t read the fine print. Because, he wasn’t talking about a gluten-free diet. More like hemoglobin-full. And now, I’m a friggin’ vampire with five centuries of pop culture references.

Tamsyn Muir’s Gideon the Ninth unveils a solar system of swordplay, cut-throat politics, and lesbian necromancers. Her characters leap out of the audio, as skillfully animated as arcane revenants. The result is a heart-pounding epic science fantasy. Brought up by unfriendly, ossifying nuns, ancient retainers, and countless skeletons, Gideon is ready to abandon a life of servitude and an afterlife as a reanimated corpse.

The devil paid me a visit and said I was going to one day rule his demonic kingdom. The catch: I have to attend the Infernal Academy, located in none other than Hell itself. Thankfully, I won’t be doing it alone. I’m going to surround myself with powerful demonesses (and maybe an angel or two as well).

Brought to you by Penguin. It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas . . . For most people, that means a time of celebration, relaxation and inebriation, but not for the staff of The Stranger Times. While a book club meeting ending in a triple murder isn’t unprecedented, it is at least...

The adventuring industry drives the economy of Arth, a world much like our own but with more magic and fewer vowels. Monsters' hoards are claimed, bought by corporate interests, and sold off to plunder funds long before the Heroes' Guild actually kills the beasts. Of course, that's a terrible arrangement for the Shadowkin; orcs, goblins, kobolds, and their ilk must apply for to become Noncombatant Paper Carriers (or NPCs) to avoid being killed and looted by heroes.

Of course, if there were only one thing under Liscor, there would be far less to fear. However, the dungeon continues to be a threat. At the same time, Goblins continue to roam northern Izril, but not all of them are as hostile to people as Tremborag or the Goblin Lord. Will the Unseen Emperor of Riverfarm make that distinction, however? A reckoning is coming as old faces and new reemerge. And all the while, The Wandering Inn is still serving food and respite and even plays to adventurers and Antinium alike. But something is coming from the dungeons. And it—they—are hungry.

Following his death by pie-eating contest, pudgy, pathetic putz Zack found himself in the body of the recently killed demonic sect elder known as Slifer, supreme elder of the Black Rose Sect. Slifer was revered by many and feared by all, and under Zack's management he was going to kick some serious a-s—even if the System really had it in for him. After a botched mass-assassination attempt by the rival Black Death Sect, Slifer's decided to pay a friendly visit to the other evil sects for the sake of peace.

Gorm Ingerson knows the king is a fink. With the land’s insidious ruler hell-bent on his destruction, the axe-wielding Dwarf berserker is desperate to beat him to the punch. But when he discovers the rotten regent’s claim of a town razed by the world’s richest dragon is false, the gruff adventurer fears there’s more than a personal grudge at stake.

Ever since Bryce Alexander and the infamous dark sorcerer Zambrano saved Earth by launching the demon duke Vulkatherak into the sun, things have been quiet. Zambrano is off doing whatever it is dark sorcerers do for fun, and Bryce has been taking advantage of the perks that come from supposedly evil internships, including free gym access and unlimited takeout. But when Zambrano reappears with a mission to infiltrate the vault of legendary magician Merlin, things start to go awry.

Still bruised and heartbroken from their last calamitous quest, Gorm Ingerson and his band of washed-up heroes try to make amends for the orcs they accidentally betrayed. But justice is put on hold when an old foe marches to the city gates. Gorm is horrified to discover a liche pitching the frightened city-dwellers on the merits of the undead lifestyle...at the head of a corpse army. To save the city from high-pressure sales tactics and an inevitable siege, the dwarf warrior and his misfit band hatch a harebrained scheme that lands them at the top of the king’s kill list.

If given the chance to be a genius, few people would say no. Outstanding talent is a key component of great success, after all. What form this ‘great success’ takes is largely up to the individual, but it is often associated with money, fame, and power. Selfish pursuits, yes, but it is only natural to look out for number one first and foremost. This is true even of the altruistic. For instance, if some wonder-child figures out a foolproof way to achieve lasting world peace they would still need an immense amount of influence and resources to turn that idea into reality.

It would appear that, after two years of relative slacking, the Hero of Chaos is once again facing an ever-growing workload. Boxxy had been quite fortunate to obtain an exceptionally potent pawn with very little effort, but that was still effort it did not intend to expend. Sensing it might get dragged into things it really doesn't want to bother with, the creature makes haste to depart Velos and its orcs so that it may continue its private preparations for the upcoming Dragon Festival.

It has been a week since Momonga logged in to his favorite RPG one last time and stranded himself there. Now he leads his guild as the Ainz Ooal Gown overlord. Finding himself in dire need of better information, he travels disguised as an adventurer to the walled city of E-Rantel, with Narberal...

As the world plunges into chaos, Nathan knows he has only one shot to save it. He barely fended off the demonic messenger Artemis, but now Trafaumh faces an invasion from without and open rebellion from within. If it falls, all of Doumahr goes with it. Saving a country comes with hard decisions. He's turned a blind eye to Trafaumh's atrocities in the past. With the Inquisition on the verge of collapse, Nathan can remove some of the worst people from power. The cost may be paid in the lives of innocents, however.

Nathan's preparations will be tested, as this war will be won with ancient spells and forbidden magic, not sword and bow. He'll need to gather his battered allies and utilize every trick and spell he's learned to keep the war from spiraling out of control. Storm clouds loom in the east, however. Civil war brews in the joint republic of faeries and elves, and someone or something is fanning the flames. Nathan finds himself playing both general and peacemaker.

Conquering the Federation has turned Nathan into a national hero, but also earned him countless enemies. The peace he has won looks short-lived. The Empire is fracturing around him as nobles fight over the throne. Civil war looms. Further north, the dark elves investigate the incident that nearly destroyed their ancient metropolis. Nathan finds himself dragged into dark elf politics, and sandwiched between Nurevia and Astra, two beautiful dark elf Champions who are old friends and rivals.

It doesn't take long for DeeDee, Lloyd, and Kevin to figure out that living with the angel of death isn't easy. Lost souls. Angry exes. Ancient curses. Will the grim reaper ever get his afterlife together? The outlook is not so good. The reaper isn't the only angel who's out of sorts. Lloyd's devilish boss Faust hasn't been the same since a tentacle monster spit him out of an alternate dimension, and his ex-girlfriend tried to start the zombie apocalypse. And Angel eight ball? He's having a hell of a time juggling a terrible new boss and saving Lloyd from eternal damnation.

A cold dawn rises after a civil war, but far worse lurks over the horizon. Nathan barely finishes burying friends before he must rally a furious, discordant nation around a new empress and stem the tide of holy war. Two prophets fight for the hearts and minds of a desperate, divided populace. The Empire's greedy nobles posture for pride and territory while Traufaumh's priests dither and their inquisitors brutalize from the shadows. Amid all this, the demonic Messengers grow in power, threatening to destroy Doumahr overnight.

Every time Nathan thinks he has stopped a world-ending war, he learns that somebody is trying to start it again. But once this is over, he’ll be free to relax and spend some quality time with his Champions. As the war heats up, Nathan finds himself caught up in the schemes and fluffy tails of one of his former Champions, Narime. More figures from his past intrude, including a dark elf with a twisted personality and a princess who makes Nathan question his memories.

Dan has accidentally "Noclipped" into the Backrooms—a bizarro, extra-dimensional Alice-in-Wonderland world, overrun with horrific nightmare creatures known as the Dwellers. No one ever gets out. Hell, forget about leaving, if Dan wants to survive the week, he's going to need to harness the strange game-like magic of the Backrooms, make some very sketchy allies, and carve out a little safe haven to call his own.