Showing results for "English" in Humorous

Starship Captain George Cottonhammer (Will Forte), bored by his job, stops his ship in middle space and floats, doing nothing.

Ashley Perrin is fresh out of college and starting a job as a community liaison for the Third District–the city’s only sector with more alien residents than humans. Ashley’s barely found where the paper clips are kept when she’s beset with constituent complaints–from too much noise at the Annual Lupidian Celebration Parade to a trip-and-fall chicken to a very particular type of alien hornet that threatens the very city itself. And if that’s not terrifying enough, Ashley is next up at the office karaoke night.

In the year 2038, there’s only one destination that can play host to the world’s wealthiest adventure seekers: the Pengalaman Island Resort and Virtual Reality Theme Park. Located on a private South Pacific island, guests here live out their wildest fantasies in custom-made virtual reality simulations while also enjoying the usual amenities of an exclusive five-star getaway. All is relatively breezy until famed billionaire and avid guest, Mr. Wagner, goes missing within a virtual simulation. His only hope? A daring rescue led by Derek Ambrose and his ragtag search party.

The newly renamed Vance Turbo has sabotaged his own career at Space Fleet Academy due to a desire to atone for a training accident. Unfortunately, his actions result in him getting press-ganged into an expendable crew of misfits recruited by a legendary starship captain. Their mission? To recover a collection of lost sun-destroying missiles that could restart a galactic war. Unfortunately, Vance is smart enough to know something is wrong with this picture. After all, no sane person would recruit this crew to save the universe.

Ominous obelisks land on Earth with a single message: Join the games to give humanity a fighting chance to survive... Or roll over and die. Too bad for them, Warren isn't the rolling-over type. Cancer may be kicking Warren's a$$, but he's not about to let aliens destroy his home and everything he loves (which is mostly just his dog, Buck). Besides, what does he have to lose? Better to die with sword in hand, bleeding out from a head wound than in some hospital bed...

Earth was invaded. Earth was conquered. And humanity was summarily subjugated, as 400,000,000 people were culled. The terrifying part was this only took the Peacekeepers a second. There wasn't even a chance for us to fight back. In the blink of an eye, questions like whether or not we're alone in the universe or at the top of the food chain were answered. We were not. Not by a long shot. Despite the mass murder, the Peacekeepers promise they're benevolent. They don't want to rule Earth. They don't want to control humanity. They just want us to stop playing around with AI and genetics.

After the arrival of the multiversal monopoly BuyMort, life got brutal. All systems were through BuyMort. All currency was through BuyMort. All sales were through BuyMort. You could resist, you could compete, but it didn’t really matter because in the end you used BuyMort—or you perished. BuyMort be praised. But not everyone’s happy with the new system. Some, even, want to see it destroyed. It’s quick. It’s convenient. And it will help people kill you and your family as readily as it will help them sell you knickknacks for a quick mortie.

All life on Earth has been stolen away by The System. It was transported to another world at the behest of a distant galactic empire that lives in terror of humanity's potential. Ben - just a normal, if not slightly above average guy - had been about to go on the first real vacation of his adult life. But plans changed. Now, he must contend with danger and mystery in a world full of monsters, magic, and treasure. Armed with nothing but his wits and a special item given to him by The System, he embarks on a damn good adventure.

Sandra Foster studies fads and their meanings for the HiTek corporation. Bennett O'Reilly works with monkey group behavior and chaos theory for the same company. When the two are thrust together due to a misdelivered package and a run of seemingly bad luck, they find a joint project in a flock of sheep. But a series of setbacks and disappointments arise before they are able to find answers to their questions - with the unintended help of the errant, forgetful, and careless office assistant Flip.

200 years in the future, environmental catastrophe has befallen the Earth, leaving the skies and weather systems transformed into a nightmarish maelstrom of rainbow chemicals, and the city of London wiped off the map (opinion remains divided on whether or not this was the best outcome for the country).

The Antithesis want nothing more than to consume other worlds, altering their environments and birthing armies of monsters to continue their spread across the galaxy. Their next target is Earth, but with hundreds of Samurai protecting their home, it will be no easy victory. Taking root on Mars and its moons, the Antithesis have concocted a plan for the ultimate cosmic takeover: transform Phobos into a living satellite and hurtle it toward Earth.

Master Lecture Series: History of the Third Robot War is a future history lecture so epic it will knock your digital socks off! In this satirical Audible Original that turns The Great Courses on its head, Professor Tirannous Rexavier Shepard guides you through the multiverse-shattering events of the war, from the opening "pyew pyews" through Le Battle Finale. Master Lecture Series pays homage to the Sci-Fi and Fantasy genres with gut-busting (and circuit-bending) whimsy.

A cozy near-future novella about a crew of leftover robots opening their very own noodle shop, from acclaimed sci-fi author Annalee Newitz. “Without ignoring the metallic constraints of their robotic bodies, [Narrator Em] Grosland…crafts a narration for each character that feels completely...

In the serene backdrop of New Hampshire's Franconia Notch, Micah Taylor, an ex-Army Ranger, finds solace with his loyal golden retriever, Grover. Their peaceful existence is suddenly shattered when a first date with his old friend, Jess Bender, takes an unexpected turn. Bright lights descend from the sky, leading them into the dark woods and a shocking discovery: the Kylonari, an advanced alien species with a special connection to Micah, here on a quest to find "The Lost Tribe"—a colony that vanished millennia ago.

Simon is the best delivery boy that Mr Edwards’s restaurant has ever had. He’s on time every time, and he’s gotten nothing but good reviews. But he needs more money. His mother’s medical treatment won’t pay for itself, and his father is already working three jobs to try to make ends meet. But it might just be his lucky day: Mr. Edwards has another job for him. It’s more delivery work, but not the usual kind. You might even say that it’s out of this world. Oh well. Beggars can’t be choosers, and the pay is fantastic.

On a hotter and more volatile Earth in the 23rd century, humans like Clare and Jon live in utopia, hunting and gathering in small tribal bands, engaged in daily art and ritual, reunited with old friends like the shaggy mammoth and giant ground sloth. Even better, they still have solar-powered laptops and can communicate with each other around the world. The understanding of physics has also advanced.

An embittered dog walker obsessed with a social media influencer inadvertently puts a curse on a young man - and must adventure into a mysterious dimension in order to save him - in this wildly inventive, delightfully subversive, genre-nonconforming debut novel about illusion, magic, technology, kinship, and the emergent future.

The Aftermath of a stunning victory—especially an unexpected, complete, and final victory—should be high-fives all around, listening to politicians give boring congratulatory speeches, and a well-deserved rest for the Merry Band of Pirates. Yes, the galaxy is still a freakin' mess, but that is nothing new, and for a change, that can be someone else's problem. Until, you know, something really bad happens, and only the Pirates can deal with the problem... Or not.

For years, the ancient alien AI known as Skippy (the Magnificent, don’t forget that part) has been able to do one impossible thing after another. What is his secret? It’s simple: 100 percent Grade-A extreme awesomeness. And also because he had never been faced with an opponent of equal power. Until now. This time, he might need a little help from a band of filthy monkeys.

The Merry Band of Pirates stopped the enemy from stealing a Sentinel, and destroyed its Elder starship, so why weren’t the Pirates planning a victory party? The enemy was not what they thought it was. It was much, much worse.