Showing results for "G" in Humorous

Absalom Scryne, the greatest wizard of his generation, has been murdered. There's no other explanation for why his consciousness now resides in his well-worn but perfectly pointed hat. Well, he isn't going to take that lying down . . . or hanging from a branch, as the case may be.

To earn his pardon and win the war against the Eternal Empire, Timmy will need to call upon every scrap of power, cunning, and determination he can muster. Whether it's dealing with belligerent spider people, whales who're too angry to die, or otherworldly titans with dreams of conquest, Timmy and the gang will have their work cut out for them.

Are you being attacked by a p--sed-off unicorn? Has an angry basilisk slithered into your camp? Is a dragon about to eat you? If you answered yes to any of these questions, then this book is for you. Our world is full of monsters. Some of them are happy to live and let live, but the majority of them are vicious jerks. If you want to survive, then you need to know what to do when things go wrong. Don't settle for speculation or the ramblings of a tavern drunk. Get the facts about monsters straight from a legendary hero who has fought just about all of them.

Two necromancers, a fortress, and a titan—that might not sound too complicated, but for Timmy, nothing is ever simple. To earn his pardon and win the war against the Eternal Empire, Timmy will need to call upon every scrap of power, cunning, and determination he can muster. Whether it's dealing with belligerent spider people, whales who're too angry to die, or otherworldly titans with dreams of conquest, Timmy and the gang will have their work cut out for them.

To earn his pardon and avoid becoming yet another necromancer statistic, Timmy has to work for the Council. From bandit uprisings to giant sea serpents and ogre invasions, Timmy and the others are there to save the day—sort of. When the dragon egg their resident pyromaniac stole hatches to reveal the world’s cuddliest harbinger of death, Timmy and the others are dragged into a pair of diabolically dangerous missions. Breaking out of one of the world’s most secure prisons was hard enough. Now, they have to break back in to rescue a vampire.

Two necromancers, a dwarf kingdom, and a sky city - it sounds like a prelude to mayhem, and given Timmy’s luck, that’s exactly what’s going to happen. To keep his castle and earn his pardon, Timmy has his work cut out for him. Whether it’s rescuing princesses, crushing hordes of goblins, or dealing with eldritch abominations, Timmy and the gang are there to save the day - and rob the occasional crime lord. But saving the day isn’t always easy.

With his peaceful life as a scholar far behind him and his ever-growing mountain of debt to the Department of Taxation hanging over him, Jonathan can't afford to play it safe. If he wants to get his castle back, he'll need to take a few risks. At least he's not facing danger alone. Whether it's his faithful butler, a former paladin, a shapeshifter who might have gotten stuck, a land-loving merman, a wandering werewolf, a huntress in disguise, or a raccoon who can remodel the landscape, Jonathan will have plenty of company as he runs (or is dragged) headlong into danger.

All along the frontline, the forces of Penn have faltered and been pushed back. Only Rhett Allen in the small hamlet of South Boston stood his ground. Even better, he won. With the Georgian vanguard defeated and the heir to the Georgian throne in his custody, he's offered hope to a nation mired in defeat. But standing his ground won't be enough to win this war. To make use of the new prisoner, he must get her to Philadelphia where the King and his court can leverage her capture to shift the tides of battle in their favor.

With the demise of the Old King, there's a prophesy that a queen will ascend to the throne of the Black Hills. Bad news for the king's sons, who are prepared to defend their birthright against all comers. But for blacksmith Keeley Smythe, war is great for business. Until it looks like the chosen queen will be Beatrix, her younger sister. Now it's all Keeley can do to protect her family from the enraged royals.

To the victor go the spoils. Winners rule, and losers drool. Those are the rules. That's how it's supposed to be. That's what Cam expected when he survived the Fae Confluence, won all three trials, and ended up the Lord of Winter. At the very least, he expected a high five and a pat on the back for a job well done. Instead, when he returned to the mortal realm, he was met with trigger-happy UN agents, a spoiled dragon, and a queen succubus who was ready to do anything to take him down.

War changes a man. Rhett Allen, a thirdborn from the New World, learned that the hard way. He went to the Old World with two simple jobs: protect his sister, and build his guild. Now, he’s found himself on the losing side of a battle, and on the precipice of a war that could engulf an entire empire. To make matters worse, the only way he survived was by making a deal with the prince who started the whole thing. Add in a goddess of death and chaos, and Rhett has found himself making life or death decisions usually reserved for much more powerful firstborns.

As they blunder towards doom, Warlock Holmes and Dr. John Watson find themselves inconvenienced by a variety of eldritch beings. Christmas brings a goose that doesn't let being cooked slow it down; they meet an electricity demon, discover why being a redhead is even trickier than one might imagine, and Holmes attempts an Irish accent. And, naturally, Moriarty is hanging around...in some form or other.

Warlock Holmes may have demons in his head, but now Dr. John Watson has a mummy in his bloodstream. Specifically that of the sorcerer Xantharaxes, who when shredded and dissolved in an 8 percent solution, results in some extremely odd but useful prophetic dreams. There's also the small matter of Watson falling for yet another damsel-du-jour, and Warlock deciding that his companion needs some domestic bliss....

Spike Milligan's legendary war memoirs are a hilarious and subversive first-hand account of the Second World War, as well as a fascinating portrait of the formative years of this towering comic genius, most famous as writer and star of The Goon Show. They have sold over 4.5 million copies...

Absalom Scryne isn't himself. On the one hand, he's a well-rounded gentleman of a sentient hat with two beloved apprentices and a tagalong swordsman. On the other, he's a rather furious wizard sitting on the opposite side of a desk, demanding they give back his hat. Needless to say, it's not an ideal situation. And it's about to get worse. Because the battle between civilization and all the monsters of the Badlands and the underworld is about to begin.

Answers and vengeance are so close that Absalom Scryne can almost taste them. Perhaps if his consciousness had been transferred to a pair of shoes instead of a hat, he would've had the necessary tongue to do so . . . Having made it through the Badlands by the skin of his crooked yellow teeth, Ig the kobold celebrated the achievement by blowing everyone up. Now, separated from the unhygienic scalp of his apprentice, Absalom must navigate the pitch-black underworld.

Cameron Dupree thought he had it all. His succubus girlfriend was out of jail, he was finally pulling in some serious money working for the Venetian Cabal, and he'd demonstrated his true power by completely dominating a Nosferatu of the rival Tikal Cabal. The poor, scared human who'd walked on tiptoes around the supernaturals of St. Vincent's Preparatory Academy was long gone. What could go wrong? As it turned out...a lot. No sooner had Lilith returned home than Maeve, the Queen of the Fae herself, called a Confluence of supernatural representatives from all the realms.

This ain't no spaghetti Western. Cam and company are running for their lives with a UN superteam hot on their heels...not to mention one very pissed-off fae. With Lilith injured, and the UN closing in, there is only one person that can save them: Lilith's mom. Not only does Cam need to figure out how to impress a millennia-old succubus, but he's also got to figure out what to get the women in his life for Christmas. His problems are only going to get worse from there.

The famous duo has been split! Watson has been banished from Holmes's company. Despite the interference of his horrible wife, Mary, Watson tirelessly insinuates himself into every magical adventure he can. Together, he and Holmes face a man with a twisted...everything, some very questionable juice-drinking Germans, Garrideb the Devourer and the estimable Irene Adler. Yet, nothing can prepare them for Moriarty's new form and the terrible moment they must face their Finality Problem at the edge of the Reichenbach Falls.

In the second book in the Dead Jack series, the zombie detective hits rock bottom, bingeing on fairy dust and formaldehyde 24/7. Reluctantly, he sets out with a fellow zombie, the narcissistic Garry, to find his long-lost soul. But a new threat emerges: a neo-Nazi group that hunts down the depressed corpse, believing his sidekick Oswald has the power to capture all the souls in Pandemonium. Again, the wicked world needs saving, but this time can Jack also save himself?