Showing results for "John English" in Humorous Fiction

Get ready for laughs when you listen to these excerpts from ten of Hank's stories. Performed in the style of an old-time radio show, complete with sound effects and a unique voice for each character! You will hear Hank as he bargains for a priceless corncob, learns about manners from Wallace the Buzzard, runs into Rip and Snort the coyote brothers, taunts a raging rottweiler, gets into trouble with Sally May the rancher's wife, and more!

Freddy Thresher has a problem: a really, really, big problem. He's the only one in his class who hasn't lost a tooth! All of the other students in Mrs. Wushy's first grade have signed their names on the Big Tooth, and Freddy's determined to get his name on it, too. So when Max "The Meanie" Sellars calls Freddy a baby, Freddy decides he's going to lose that tooth one way or another, even if it means getting punched in the face at recess, and even bigger trouble, with Mom!

Ladybug, Muddle, and Thud compete to make caramel apples with sprinkles—yummy! Discover what happens in a triathlon, while the group of insect friends make caramel apples in four easy steps. Guess which friend crosses the finish line first?

Mr. Spuffington and his cat, Pablo, are trying to fix the sticky bathroom door when Mr. Spuffington drops his hammer and breaks the sink. Maybe home improvement just isn’t for him! After trying to do the repairs himself, he realizes he needs some help. Can a helpful handyman save the day?

The barnyard animals are tired of being cold in the winter. Since Farmer Bean doesn't have enough money to patch the holes in the barn or heat the chicken coop, they are migrating to Florida for the winter. Travelling to the beat of Freddy the pig's funny songs, they meet with one adventure after another. They find gold treasure to take home to Farmer Bean in the spring. Florida is fun, except for the time when alligators try to eat them for lunch.

Worried that he'll be bored to tears by a school assembly, Billy Burger decides to bring along his own excitement—the class pet ferret, Franklin! The only problem is Franklin gets away from him, taking over the stage and leaving chaos behind. Now Billy's in a heap of trouble, but while he waits for his punishment from his parents, he gets to spend the afternoon with his loving grandma. The wise woman has lots of funny stories, and more importantly, great ideas on how Billy might use his punishment time helping others.

After Billy gets sent home for fighting with the bus bully, Randy, he's got extra time to do some community service. Inspired by a speech about bullies and mistreated animals from his grandmother, Billy decides to spend some time with the dogs down at the local pound. But he soon learns that walking dogs is no picnic. Can Billy survive the heat and exercise? Can he keep the dogs on leash and out of the butcher shop? Can Billy be a good citizen to all, even the bus bully?!

When Billy Burgers gets a bad report at the doctor, his mom starts pushing fruits and veggies and cutting out the junk food. Delirious from his cravings, Billy swipes a bag of chips from the school cafeteria and devours them. When he realizes his mistake, he rushes to pay, but it's too late. He's sent to the principal's office for stealing. Can Billy make up for his poor judgement? Can he live life with less junk food and more movement? Can he become Billy Burger, Model Citizen?!

Laugh yourself silly with the InvestiGators! Crime fighting alligators Mango and Brash are back in Ants in Our P.A.N.T.S – the fourth adventure by John Patrick Green. Perfect for fans of Dogman and Bunny vs Monkey. 'Fast, fabulous, and fantastically funny' – Jamie Smart, creator of Bunny vs...

Deep under Electropolis, Sludge is watching from the Fartress of Foulitude as his arch enemies, the Clean Team, are awarded the Key to the City. Disgusted by the sanitary ceremony, the master of muck sets out to put his squeaky-clean rivals in their place for good! Will the Snot-Bot leader’s fiendish scheme succeed? Or will the Clean Team foil his plot before his filthy crew can ruin the city?

McToad likes Thursdays. Why? Because on every other day of the week, McToad mows Big Island, but on Thursdays, McToad mows Tiny Island. To do so he puts his mower on the back of a truck, which drives to a train, which goes to a helicopter, which flies to a boat, which uses a crane to put the lawn mower onto Tiny Island. There McToad mows and drinks some lemonade, and before you know it, it's time to turn around and go back home.

All of the Snot-Bots’ plans to bring contaminated chaos to Electropolis have been thwarted by those disgusting heroes of hygiene, the Clean Team. But their leader, Sludge, has something different in mind this time. Instead of going big, he’s going small—microscopic, even. He’s launching millions of nasty nano-bytes called Fart-Bots into the atmosphere to spew a giant cloud of gas over the city.

When one of the Snot-Bots creates a mess on Farts and Crafts day, Sludge gets an idea to bring massive, messy mayhem to Electropolis. Using his radiation ray gun, Sludge creates an army of Butt-Bombs and then sets them loose in the sewers. When the little poo-bots crawl up through the pipes, they cause disgusting chaos across the city.

Sludge is sick of the Clean Team foiling his attempts to turn Electropolis into his own putrid playground. So he hatches his most cunning plan yet. He sends one of the Snot-Bots in disguise as a rookie bot named Bit-Con to join his enemies, the Clean Team.

Laugh yourself silly with the InvestiGators! Crime-fighting alligators Mango and Brash are back in Off the Hook – the third adventure by John Patrick Green, perfect for fans of Bunny vs Monkey. 'Fast, fabulous, and fantastically funny' – Jamie Smart, creator of Bunny vs Monkey. After...

Laugh yourself silly with the InvestiGators! This side-splittingly funny audiobook is perfect for fans of Diary of a Wimpy Kid. Dive into this fully immersive listening experience, read by a fantastic full cast, including the author, John Patrick Green, accompanied by exciting sound effects and...

In this zany twist on the legend of King Midas and his golden touch, a boy acquires a magical gift that turns everything his lips touch into chocolate! Kids will eat this up for summer reading or anytime! Can you ever have too much of your favorite food? John Midas is about to find out…. The...

In The Tempest, long considered one of Shakespeare’s most lyrical plays, Prospero, a sorcerer, and his daughter, Miranda, have been stranded on an enchanted island for 12 years. When a shipwreck—caused by the eponymous tempest—brings enemies to the island, the stage is set for comedy, romance, and reconciliation.

No one in the town of Bonnyripple ever kept a grudge. No one, that is, except old Cornelius, the Grudge Keeper. Ruffled feathers, petty snits, minor tiffs and major huffs, insults, umbrage, squabbles, dust-ups, and imbroglios - the Grudge Keeper received them all, large and small, tucking each one carefully away in his ramshackle cottage. When a fierce wind blows through Bonnyripple, the residents are forced to rescue Cornelius and deal with their various disputes.

A terrible secret is making the Ferocious Beast sit next to the River of Dreams and cry. Maggie and Hamilton Hocks want to help. "Tell us your secret and then you’ll feel better," they urge their sad friend. "Sometimes I get scared," the Ferocious Beast finally admits. But what could frighten a big, ferocious beast? Is it something worse than sea monsters, ghosts, and spaceships from another galaxy? These are the things that scare Maggie and Hamilton, even though they’ve never seen them. But how can they get the Ferocious Beast to tell them his fears?