Showing results for "John English" in Humorous Fiction

The barnyard animals are tired of being cold in the winter. Since Farmer Bean doesn't have enough money to patch the holes in the barn or heat the chicken coop, they are migrating to Florida for the winter. Travelling to the beat of Freddy the pig's funny songs, they meet with one adventure after another. They find gold treasure to take home to Farmer Bean in the spring. Florida is fun, except for the time when alligators try to eat them for lunch.

When Billy Burgers gets a bad report at the doctor, his mom starts pushing fruits and veggies and cutting out the junk food. Delirious from his cravings, Billy swipes a bag of chips from the school cafeteria and devours them. When he realizes his mistake, he rushes to pay, but it's too late. He's sent to the principal's office for stealing. Can Billy make up for his poor judgement? Can he live life with less junk food and more movement? Can he become Billy Burger, Model Citizen?!

Laugh yourself silly with the InvestiGators! Crime fighting alligators Mango and Brash are back in Braver and Boulder – the fifth adventure by John Patrick Green, perfect for fans of Dogman and Bunny vs Monkey. 'Fast, fabulous, and fantastically funny’ – Jamie Smart, creator of Bunny vs...

Mr. Putter is tired of living all alone, with no one to share his morning English muffins or his afternoon tea. He has many wonderful stories to tell, but no one to tell them to. What Mr. Putter needs is some good company. But good company is hard to find. This first adventure in award-winning author Cynthia Rylant's popular series introduces readers to a pair of friends who are just perfect for each other.

Worried that he'll be bored to tears by a school assembly, Billy Burger decides to bring along his own excitement—the class pet ferret, Franklin! The only problem is Franklin gets away from him, taking over the stage and leaving chaos behind. Now Billy's in a heap of trouble, but while he waits for his punishment from his parents, he gets to spend the afternoon with his loving grandma. The wise woman has lots of funny stories, and more importantly, great ideas on how Billy might use his punishment time helping others.

After Billy gets sent home for fighting with the bus bully, Randy, he's got extra time to do some community service. Inspired by a speech about bullies and mistreated animals from his grandmother, Billy decides to spend some time with the dogs down at the local pound. But he soon learns that walking dogs is no picnic. Can Billy survive the heat and exercise? Can he keep the dogs on leash and out of the butcher shop? Can Billy be a good citizen to all, even the bus bully?!

Get ready for laughs when you listen to these excerpts from ten of Hank's stories. Performed in the style of an old-time radio show, complete with sound effects and a unique voice for each character! You will hear Hank as he bargains for a priceless corncob, learns about manners from Wallace the Buzzard, runs into Rip and Snort the coyote brothers, taunts a raging rottweiler, gets into trouble with Sally May the rancher's wife, and more!

Deep under Electropolis, Sludge is watching from the Fartress of Foulitude as his arch enemies, the Clean Team, are awarded the Key to the City. Disgusted by the sanitary ceremony, the master of muck sets out to put his squeaky-clean rivals in their place for good! Will the Snot-Bot leader’s fiendish scheme succeed? Or will the Clean Team foil his plot before his filthy crew can ruin the city?

Freddy Thresher has a problem: a really, really, big problem. His teacher wants the class to do reports on nocturnal animals, and everybody but Freddy has a really cool animal to study. How will Freddy find one? When his best friend, Robbie, says the two boys should have a sleepover and sneak outside at night, Freddy makes a huge mistake and ends up getting his late-night wish in a very unexpected way!

Watch out, Junie, there's a new kid on the block! It's Freddy Thresher, a first grader who knows it's a jungle out there. A new chapter book series written by an elementary teacher who's seen it all!

McToad likes Thursdays. Why? Because on every other day of the week, McToad mows Big Island, but on Thursdays, McToad mows Tiny Island. To do so he puts his mower on the back of a truck, which drives to a train, which goes to a helicopter, which flies to a boat, which uses a crane to put the lawn mower onto Tiny Island. There McToad mows and drinks some lemonade, and before you know it, it's time to turn around and go back home.

Ladybug, Muddle, and Thud compete to make caramel apples with sprinkles—yummy! Discover what happens in a triathlon, while the group of insect friends make caramel apples in four easy steps. Guess which friend crosses the finish line first?

Mr. Spuffington and his cat, Pablo, are trying to fix the sticky bathroom door when Mr. Spuffington drops his hammer and breaks the sink. Maybe home improvement just isn’t for him! After trying to do the repairs himself, he realizes he needs some help. Can a helpful handyman save the day?

All of the Snot-Bots’ plans to bring contaminated chaos to Electropolis have been thwarted by those disgusting heroes of hygiene, the Clean Team. But their leader, Sludge, has something different in mind this time. Instead of going big, he’s going small—microscopic, even. He’s launching millions of nasty nano-bytes called Fart-Bots into the atmosphere to spew a giant cloud of gas over the city.

When one of the Snot-Bots creates a mess on Farts and Crafts day, Sludge gets an idea to bring massive, messy mayhem to Electropolis. Using his radiation ray gun, Sludge creates an army of Butt-Bombs and then sets them loose in the sewers. When the little poo-bots crawl up through the pipes, they cause disgusting chaos across the city.

Sludge is sick of the Clean Team foiling his attempts to turn Electropolis into his own putrid playground. So he hatches his most cunning plan yet. He sends one of the Snot-Bots in disguise as a rookie bot named Bit-Con to join his enemies, the Clean Team.

Jeffrey wants Saturn for his birthday, and he wants the moons, too - all 47 of them. After all, they'll make great nightlights! But he's not selfish; he'll share the rings with some of his friends at school and with his teacher, Mrs. Cassini. Facts about Saturn are woven seamlessly throughout this funny story as Jeffrey explains just what he'll do with his present and how he'll take care of it. His dad better hurry with the order, though, because shipping might take a while.

The “too-cool-for-school” third book from the #1 New York Times bestselling creator of The Bad Seed and The Good Egg, Jory John Everyone knows the cool beans. They’re sooooo cool. And then there’s the uncool has-bean . . . Always on the sidelines, one bean unsuccessfully tries everything...

No one in the town of Bonnyripple ever kept a grudge. No one, that is, except old Cornelius, the Grudge Keeper. Ruffled feathers, petty snits, minor tiffs and major huffs, insults, umbrage, squabbles, dust-ups, and imbroglios - the Grudge Keeper received them all, large and small, tucking each one carefully away in his ramshackle cottage. When a fierce wind blows through Bonnyripple, the residents are forced to rescue Cornelius and deal with their various disputes.

A terrible secret is making the Ferocious Beast sit next to the River of Dreams and cry. Maggie and Hamilton Hocks want to help. "Tell us your secret and then you’ll feel better," they urge their sad friend. "Sometimes I get scared," the Ferocious Beast finally admits. But what could frighten a big, ferocious beast? Is it something worse than sea monsters, ghosts, and spaceships from another galaxy? These are the things that scare Maggie and Hamilton, even though they’ve never seen them. But how can they get the Ferocious Beast to tell them his fears?