Showing results for "John English" in Humorous

What could possibly be the most infuriating thing to a vampire disgusted by the internet? A twenty-six-year-old social media influencer who just ran out on her cheating ex-fiancé and insists on staying in Vlad's quiet castle. But he needs money to repair his ancestral home, and Aubrey needs a place to lick her wounds after getting her heart broken. He is ready to have humans invading his space. He is not, however, ready for her.

Absalom Scryne, the greatest wizard of his generation, has been murdered. There's no other explanation for why his consciousness now resides in his well-worn but perfectly pointed hat. Well, he isn't going to take that lying down . . . or hanging from a branch, as the case may be.

Building on the story begun in The Hobbit and The Fellowship of the Ring, this is the second part of Tolkien’s epic masterpiece, The Lord of the Rings. Frodo and the Companions of the Ring have been beset by danger during their quest to prevent the Ruling Ring from falling into the hands of...

After making a big mistake at work, Maisie is told to take a mandatory vacation and get her head on straight. But when she chooses Hallow's Cove as her retreat destination, she doesn't realize it's a town inhabited almost purely by monsters—including her grumpy new landlord, Barnaby. It's no...

From the author of the emotionally devastating epic fantasy series The Spellbinders and the Gunslingers comes... well, the complete opposite of that. It begins and ends, as things do, with a girl throwing a birthday party for a dragon. Or it would, if things were ever that simple. Generations...

Stacia Reynolds, the famous White Werewolf, plucked from her quiet Vermont life and thrust into the supernatural world. Rescued from mauling by the Hammer of God himself, transformed into one of the most skilled weres in the world, stepping from impoverishment to fame and fortune, and destined to become partner to the most powerful witch ever. This is a story for Demon Accords fans, told by Stacia, in her own words.

It's not easy to live in a world ruled by dragons. The taxes are high, and their control is complete. But for one group of bold misfits, it's time to band together and steal back some of that wealth. No one said they were smart.

Answers and vengeance are so close that Absalom Scryne can almost taste them. Perhaps if his consciousness had been transferred to a pair of shoes instead of a hat, he would've had the necessary tongue to do so . . . Having made it through the Badlands by the skin of his crooked yellow teeth, Ig the kobold celebrated the achievement by blowing everyone up. Now, separated from the unhygienic scalp of his apprentice, Absalom must navigate the pitch-black underworld.

Isekaied into a level 86 Necromancer-King's body, I leave his life of war behind in favor of peace in the idyllic Borderlands. Upon meeting the elven maiden Narya Summerdew and a razor-toothed half-elven child, the three of us form an unlikely improvised family in the hopes of remaining anonymous. As we embrace the eccentric community of Gelderham, we find happiness in simplicity…But my past casts shadows on our growing bonds. How will Narya react when she learns her new husband was once the evil king set on destroying her people?

San Diego's zombie prince, Simon, may be long dead, but his descendants are still around and kicking, and one of them, his great-great granddaughter, just went missing. Now, Simon wants John to track her down. John has never worked across state lines before, but clearly that's going to change.

From New York Times bestselling and Hugo Award-winning author T. Kingfisher comes Nine Goblins, a novella of low fantasy and high mischief. No one knows exactly how the Goblin War began, but folks will tell you that goblins are stinking, slinking, filthy, sheep-stealing, henhouse-raiding...

Buck has been a lot of things in his life—a Marine, a firefighter, human. And now, after an unwanted bite, he's a motherloving werewolf. With wings. All he wants is to ignore the feral furball sharing his skin, but that's hard when he keeps waking up naked on a cabin roof. The cursed mutt has a mind of its own, and it insists on dragging him to one place: Camp Thunderbird. A secret summer camp for shifter kids… which is in desperate need of a camp counselor.

Paige isn't looking forward to spending her summer trying to wrangle kids who can turn into animals. But no matter her own feelings, family comes first. This job is the only way she can afford to send her little brother Archie back to camp this year—and now, more than ever, he has to get better control of his bear. All she has to do is keep her head down, work hard, and make sure Archie doesn't get distracted from his shifting lessons. There's just one problem, and it's six-foot-five and wearing a suit. The charismatic, confident, devastatingly attractive camp manager…

Pegasus shifter Ethan Roan eats, breathes, and sleeps his work, preparing for the day he'll take over his father's corporate law firm. The daily grind leaves him with no time for fun, let alone love… and he's fine with that. Or so he tells himself, anyway. Now, though, he's inexplicably found himself attached to a ghost that insists he help it return to the afterlife—and it's not above sabotaging his work to get his attention. Which is how Ethan finds himself on a road trip to Girdwood Springs with an amnesiac ghost and a cantankerous pegasus, despite it very much not being in his schedule.

Brynn was the first to ever activate the world’s hidden Prestige Mode, granting powerful perks at the cost of his godhood and all memories of his past life. Now, he’s at rock bottom in a brutal world where leveling is so deadly most people never try, powerful classes evolve through corestones, and loot is awarded through system-granted achievements. Armed with nothing but a magical helmet and an empty Alchemist’s Kit left behind by his former self, the ex-paramedic must grind his way back to divinity, level-by-level. But regaining his power won’t be his greatest challenge…

The famous duo has been split! Watson has been banished from Holmes's company. Despite the interference of his horrible wife, Mary, Watson tirelessly insinuates himself into every magical adventure he can. Together, he and Holmes face a man with a twisted...everything, some very questionable juice-drinking Germans, Garrideb the Devourer and the estimable Irene Adler. Yet, nothing can prepare them for Moriarty's new form and the terrible moment they must face their Finality Problem at the edge of the Reichenbach Falls.

San Francisco's only PI with an eye into the supernatural, is having one of those months. His bad mood drives him to his local pub where he encounters his latest client, a Leprechaun who's lost his adopted niece, a runaway Dryad, and that's where the problems begin. Some days it pours and when Landau Bain, the city's crankiest wizard, arrives on Tony's doorstep, he knows what's coming down isn't rain.

Joe Sunday has been a Los Angeles low-life for years, but his life gets a whole lot lower when he is killed by the rival of his crime boss-only to return as a zombie. His only hope is to find and steal a talisman that he learns can grant immortality. But, unfortunately for Joe, every other undead thug and crime boss in Los Angeles is looking for the same thing.

Mack Sutton is a normal guy who just happens to attend a very abnormal school. In a college where the pretty girls can kill you with a whisper and most of the guys can bench press a car, Mack and his sister Jetta are just run of the mill people—or are they?

With old allies and enemies clamoring to meet and negotiate with the new "Bright Lord of Gelderham", the world of Etherion seems destined to return to a new age of stability at last. Closer to home, now that Kaya has joined the family, the dynamic in the Stillwater household has changed forever. Children grow older, and the community grows closer. Gelderham always prospers, but uncertainties linger in spite of all this happiness. Several mysteries still loom over the heads of Gray and his family, in particular.