Showing results for "Lynch" in Humorous

They call him Jig Dragonslayer - and who is he to deny a legend. After all, common sense - something in very short supply among goblins - has a lot to do with Jig's continued existence. Though he's been captured by adventures and dragged unwillingly along on their foolish quest, he's survived both the Necromancer and the Dragon. If people want to insist he's a hero, he isn't going to fight about it. But the trouble with being labeled a hero is that everyone expects you to keep doing heroic things.

Jig the goblin was the runtiest member of an admittedly puny race. Jig was scrawny, so nearsighted as to be almost blind, and had such a poor self-image that when he chose a god to worship, it was one of the forgotten ones - after all, what other sort of god would have him as worshiper? He also had a cowardly fire-spider for a pet, a creature that was likely to set your hair on fire if it got into a panic. Made to stand tunnel watch by the goblin bullies who'd been assigned the job, it was just Jig's luck to be taken captive by a group of adventurers.

As the newly crowned undead monarch of Einheath, Maud has many responsibilities. Negotiations with her neighbors, politics with pesky paladins, and the reconstruction of her shiny new kingdom—this all takes a lot of effort and energy. It also cuts into precious crafting time. But when a jealous god threatens her freedom, Maud is forced to put down her scepter and go looking for answers. Along the way, she discovers a mysterious fairy realm, takes her beloved cat to the next level, and knits some very exciting sweaters.

Having successfully stolen half the souls of Fairhaven out from under her rival's pretentious undead nose, Maud must now find homes for all her new pets, but the living are much noisier than the dead. As if that wasn't vexing enough, the self-appointed lich king has just unleashed a zombie plague on the land, threatening both Maud's patience and her wool supply.

Done with everything, this not-so-frozen-hearted lich queen is out for one final rampage, and this time, the prize is the soul of the world. Do or die. Again. The stakes are high, the board is set. More than just Maud's crafting stash is on the line. She has a fabulous skirt, bombs in her bloomers, undead minions in the millions, and an unshakable urge to murder anyone who gets in her way. If the Whisperer's brain wasn't getting eaten by parasites he'd probably be terrified.

Evil has arrived in the capital...and she's looking to go shopping. After a startling vision and an uninvited visit from a rival lich, Maud sets off for the city to prepare for war. Leaving a trail of deboned corpses in her wake, this simple country lich solves a few murders, commits a few more, and discovers along the way that some things are worth dying for. Again. Maud’s heart may have stopped beating long ago, but she is determined to live her new "life" to the fullest. Featuring necrotic crafting, neurotic knitting, two naughty crows, and one very haunted castle.

Busy with troubles of her own, Maud the village witch just wants to be left alone. Peace and quiet should be easy enough when you're dead, right? Wrong. Reborn as a powerful lich, Maud is suddenly faced with the attentions of all the righteous heroes, holy clerics, and nosy neighbors of the realm. Now, instead of whiling away the days in her garden with her cat and her knitting, Maud must figure out how much force is required to crush a man's spine, the proper storage solution to keep a spoiling cadaver, and how best to display the remains of the fallen for maximum scare.

If you think it’s hard being a hobgoblin or a human, try living a goblin’s life for a while. In fact, try imagining what it’s like to be the runtiest goblin in the caves, the lone worshiper of a god who’s been forgotten for a good reason, and the target everyone points to at the first hint of trouble. Try picturing yourself as Jig Dragonslayer, and see how you like it....