Showing results for "Posts" in Humorous

Morgan Mars is doing everything he can to protect humanity from alien invasion. But even his new organization, The First Line of Defence, isn’t enough to save what’s already lost. Sectors are collapsing like dominoes as the aftermath of the 20th Cycle invasion leaves everyone trapped in the falling Sectors. No one knows what to do. No one, that is, except Nicholas Thistlebush. He has a plan to save Sector 6. The only question is, what will it cost him?

The post-apocalyptic world isn't that bad. Sure, there are mutants. But, for the people of New Hope, daily life isn't so much a struggle of finding food or medicine as it is trying to find a new shortstop for their kickball team. This makes it difficult for a post-apocalyptic warrior to find work. Thankfully, an army full of killers is making its way to the peaceful town and plans to raze it to the ground. Only a fully trained post-apocalyptic nomadic warrior can stop them.

So some god smoked a million godly cigarettes and exhaled that all over the Earth, causing the entire planet to erupt into chaos, death, explosions, implosions, and general apocalyptic events. The air is foul. Probably poisonous. Despite this, life inexplicably continues for one slacker and his cat. As far as Isaac knows, and depending on what side of the AI sentience debate you're on, he's the only human left on the planet. He would resign to his fate-playing the latest Fallout or replaying Portal 2 on the PS6 until the electricity fails and he begins to rot more than just his brain.

With the help of a team from a nearby settlement, the rebuilding begins with a focus on safety. Their healer, Jessica, is as beautiful as she is tough. If we could convince her to stay in Hope that would be a huge advantage. More hands means less work, and soon we had a thriving garden and four livable homes. With some help, I began work on a waterwheel that could power our new settlement. Next step: getting the plumbing working again. Things were going well, and life was simple and satisfying when we focused on the basics.

Jane is the only person left on the planet, minding the only business left: a gift shop. She wasn’t born on Earth, but her ancestors were; they lived there before the AI in charge of geoengineering failed and the oceans got too hot to sustain the terrestrial food web and before humans took off to colonize other planets. She’s heading to college on Jupiter in the fall of 3020, so her days on the home planet—selling “American Epoch” postcards, “History: The Poster!” and “War: The Soundtrack” to tourists from the suburbs of Europa—are numbered.