Showing results for "Publishing" in Humorous

You meet the most interesting men in medieval prisons. This one time, I met a guy who offered me immortality for the low, low price of changing my diet. I didn’t read the fine print. Because, he wasn’t talking about a gluten-free diet. More like hemoglobin-full. And now, I’m a friggin’ vampire with five centuries of pop culture references.

He wished for an early retirement. He got a curse to break, and a maid who watches him sleep. With his seer powers fading, Gerald left the guild and bought a cottage in a far-off town. He didn’t expect to find a demon in a maid’s dress, bound to the house and eager to please. Now his days are spent fending off her dreadful cooking, keeping the wine out of reach, and admiring how her tail lifts her skirt at the washbasin. Meanwhile, he wonders why the local lord sold him a home with sultry baggage, and how to set her free from the walls that bind her.

Adam Binder’s life has never been better. Sure, he has no money, no car, no home to call his own, and he’s worried about creating a future with his boyfriend Vic, but he’s closer to his family than ever before. He’s also Page to the Elven Court of Swords, and that appointment is not without its perks—like the invisible sword strapped to his back.

Josh Becker was once pretty average. That was until he won the Gigaball Lottery and got hundreds of millions of dollars (after tax). No, wait. He was still pretty average at heart even after that. It was when the portals started arriving in his backyard and he had to kill monsters every night when he started to become more of a special guy. Now armed with some kind of video-gamey "System", Josh is minding his own business, making sure to deal with the portals and the threats they send each and every night.

Several months after discovering the reason behind his mother’s confinement to a psychiatric hospital and her eventual death, Otis Boone is at a crossroads. With the Vatican's experts still unable to translate her journals, he goes on a desperate search for someone who can help him decipher the hidden code in her writings. After hearing a rumor about a mysterious collector, Otis persuades Artemus Steele and his group of unearthly housemates to accompany him to Salem. But the arcane bookstore owner they meet is even more mystifying than they expected.

Returning to Guthrie, Oklahoma, for the funeral of his mysterious and beloved aunt, Sue, Adam Binder once again finds himself in the path of deadly magic when a dark druid begins to prey on members of Adam’s family. It all seems linked to the death of Adam’s father many years ago - a man who may have somehow survived as a warlock. Watched by the police, separated from the man who may be the love of his life, compelled to seek the truth about his connection to the druid, Adam learns more about his family and its troubled history than he ever bargained for.

Logan Morrison always fought for everything he had, but it never was much. Growing up truly alone did that to you. One day, when taking on an extra tutoring gig to help out a cute chick with a quirky name, she ends up bringing him back to her place. Cool, right? Well, the next morning, Logan wakes up in chains and comes to learn that Cherry Cola is one beautiful and unhinged monster girl member out of three in a small Fresco City witch coven. Their plans for him? Servitude.

I trained to kill monsters, not date them. After a hunt goes wrong, I’m separated from my remote village and my childhood best friend, forced to fend for myself in the wilderness. Barely escaping with my life, I stumble into a secluded community of unnervingly attractive monster girls.

Deep in the elbow skin of the Fae Wilds, far from the teeming fortress of the Goblin King and the glittering palace of the King and Queen of the Elves, there lies a forgotten hideaway of crumbling single-wides and rusty Airstreams. A lonely clan of beautiful women, clad in tube tops, overall shorts, and tacky Asian-print house-dresses, yearn for a man who can unstop their sewer lines and get the internet working again.

Being a weapons manufacturer was surprisingly easy. At least, it was for me, but mostly because I had a magical tablet imparting knowledge and a half dozen goblin babes that worked hard, producing these things. Yeah, business was booming. Our enchanted weapons were fetching five digits each, and we had plans for new and improved weapons and armor that would blow everyone away. Maybe literally. What to do with all that money? Well, I tried to decide between vintage video games, our own racetrack, hotrodding old cars, and ahem, fun times. I couldn't decide, so we just went with all of the above.

After years as the Free States of Caldia's most lethal weapon, all I want is to study magic at Stoneway Academy and find something resembling a normal civilian life. The Great War against the Democratic Republic of Auropa has finally come to a ceasefire, but tensions haven't necessarily died down overnight.

In the magic lands of the Fae Wild, the Goblin King's virility is the lifeblood of the realm. But an insidious curse has put the kingdom on the precipice of a population panic. Enter Thomas Stone: architect, engineer, and unknowing half-blood heir to the goblin throne. Whisked away to a world where baby-making makes the world go round, Thomas finds himself in a pickle thicker than goblin stew. Birth rates are dropping faster than a fairy on a bad flight path, and it’s up to Thomas to save the fae from themselves.

I never asked to be Blade Mage. My fellow wizards weren’t exactly thrilled about my selection, either. Unfortunately, those weird old druids have a strict no returns policy. So I left, and for the past few years, I’ve managed to hide from my responsibilities and former life. But I always knew one day the Cabal would come looking for its precious sword. And so they have, but only because a heinous crime has occurred....

In a blink, I found myself in an unknown land, greeted by the textbox of an unfriendly system. It wanted me to become a great hero, save the world, win the love of the people and all that crap. But this new world already had a hero. Why should I bust my a-s, deal with dragons and the unknown, for people I didn't know? Let him deal with that. It's his job! So instead of being tempted by the system's nonsense, I chose a simple class. Potion maker. I wasn't interested in cultivating mana and defying the heavens, courting death, none of that crap.

I thought surviving the war was hard. Turns out, being a celebrity war hero at magic school comes with its own unique challenges. Just when I was getting comfortable with my new life at Stoneway Academy, the monsters in the Shadow Wood of Misery decided to get a lot more aggressive, and I can't help but feel like it's my problem to deal with.

After rescuing a mysterious stranger, Gabriel is given a magical gift. Granted the ability to recreate anything he’s crafted with his own two hands: he has an impossible task. With Tablet in hand, he must restore the Fae Islands to their former glory.

One day I was enjoying my early retirement out in the countryside, taking comfort in the simplicity of my off grid lifestyle. Hunting and gardening provided the bulk of my own food, and I slept and did my work from inside my converted shipping container mini-home. It could get a bit lonely at times—but it gave me the space I needed to get away from the city...and my past.

Princess Daphyse has been preparing since age 16 to marry the prophesied hero. Champion Trish fought her way to the top of her warrior culture specifically to claim him. And High Priestess Imelia has spent her entire life in spiritual devotion, convinced the divine has chosen her alone to guide Kevin to his destiny. The problem? All three of them are right. Kevin needs the power of all three Sacred Gems to stop the encroaching demon threat and save the world from eternal darkness in five days.

I was having the perfect day when I suddenly found myself on the wrong side of an interdimensional portal. Instead of a weekend in wine country, I wound up in a trailer park that seemed stuck in the 1980s and filled with... goblin women? By the way, since when are goblins real? And why are the women so hot?

The Retired Hero of Humanity—the man who decided to hide in his woodland cottage after his bloody business was done—is enjoying his life. Jericho really doesn't have plans this time. He's more than happy to just go with the flow. Will the world let him? Garoonie is happy to spend time with him, between her very serious patrols.