Showing results for "The" in Humorous

Jin Rou wanted to be a cultivator. A man powerful enough to defy the heavens. A master of martial arts. A lord of spiritual power. Unfortunately for him, he died, and now I’m stuck in his body. Arrogant Masters? Heavenly Tribulations? All that violence and bloodshed? Yeah, no thanks. I’m getting out of here. Farm life sounds pretty great. Tilling a field by hand is fun when you’ve got the strength of ten men—though maybe I shouldn’t have fed those Spirit Herbs to my pet rooster.

24/7 Demon Mart: Publisher's Pack features two books from the 24/7 Demon Mart series: The Graveyard Shift, book one, and Monster Burger, book two. It also includes the bonus Hell for the Holidays, a 24/7 Demon Mart Christmas special. Lloyd Wallace is the most clueless crossing guard the intersection of hell and earth has ever seen. So clueless, that he doesn't even realize the beer cave in the corner store where he works is the gateway to hell.

Five friends, gamers for life, gather for their usual game night. Yet, when they use a strange new die they are transported to a fantasy world where all gaming ideas can come true. Together, the party must join forces to deal with the vile Necrolord whose plans will not only threaten this world, but Earth as well. Should be easy for a team of adventurers, but when gaming and real life meet, there are situations which cannot be anticipated.

She's unlike any one or any thing else: a Non-Standard Leashed-Intelligence Cybernetic Enforcer aka NSLICE-00P. The first of her kind, she's let loose into a universe of superheroes on behalf of her sinister masters to destroy all who oppose them. And everything's going according to plan—until NSLICE-00P gets hacked and sent into the past to kill her own creator before he creates her. Obeying orders as always, she wastes the poor guy. Unfortunately, there are consequences to initiating a reality-breaking time paradox. The most significant: total ejection from that reality.

When it comes to action and adventure, every hero needs a good sidekick. Holmes has Watson, Batman has Robin, and Daniel has . . . Orrin. More like brothers than friends, they always have each other's backs. And as Daniel is the big, strong, handsome type, Orrin is more than happy to remain in his shadow at school, at parties, pretty much everywhere. Then things take a turn for the truly weird when a terrible accident catapults the pair into a world totally unlike their own, in which the rules of a role-playing game hold sway.

You meet the most interesting men in medieval prisons. This one time, I met a guy who offered me immortality for the low, low price of changing my diet. I didn’t read the fine print. Because, he wasn’t talking about a gluten-free diet. More like hemoglobin-full. And now, I’m a friggin’ vampire with five centuries of pop culture references.

The usual result of a human taking a runaway semitruck head-on is a very sudden, very fast track to the pearly gates. But for one newly noncorporeal man, there's another option: become a dungeon. Feeling sorry for the desperate angel assigned to him, the man relents. Heck, if it doesn't work out, he can always chat with Saint Peter about it later. Next thing you know, he's a dungeon. Admittedly, a small run-down, somewhat unimpressive dungeon (more of a house, actually), but you gotta start somewhere, right?

Absalom Scryne, the greatest wizard of his generation, has been murdered. There's no other explanation for why his consciousness now resides in his well-worn but perfectly pointed hat. Well, he isn't going to take that lying down . . . or hanging from a branch, as the case may be.

The ninth floor. Nine armies, each led by rich and powerful aliens from across the galaxy. Each team has one objective: to capture and hold the castle at the very center of the battlefield. Strategy, alliances, pitched battles, and, of course, betrayal ... It all makes for great fun and even greater television. After all, none of these powerful aliens really die when they’re playing war. Except this time. This time, winner takes all. Those who fall, stay in the ground.

After years of confrontations, Fred's conflict with his sire at last draws toward a conclusion. Along the way he'll watch centaurs battle for honor, try to stand against a magical aberration, gather ingredients for a mysterious potion, and explore a city of underwater vampires. As Fred learns more about the parahuman world, the origins of vampires, and where he fits into it all, an eventual encounter with Quinn becomes inevitable. One that Fred is determined to see have a final, definite outcome.

A lush jungle teeming with danger. Savage dinosaurs seeking blood. A fallen princess intent on vengeance. A mysterious, end-of-floor celebration for the top crawlers, dubbed “The Butcher’s Masquerade”. The sixth floor. The Hunting Grounds. As the remaining crawlers battle for their lives, a new, terrible threat looms. Outside, tourists are finally allowed to enter the game, and they are here and ready to hunt. Among them is Vrah, a famed and veteran hunter, intent on collecting the biggest trophy of her career.

A pantheon of forgotten gods. An old grudge between a talk show host, an heiress, and the man they shattered along the way. A rapidly deteriorating AI system. An inconvenient tiara upon the head of a friend.

Three delinquent monsters with fearsome powers. One girl made of pure sunshine. Can she save this team of misfits? My past? Let's just pretend it never happened. All I want is to spread enough joy to make up for the pain I've caused. So it'd be nice if my unexplainable powers would stop going haywire. When I start blitzing my fellow monsters as well as mortals, the authorities of the supernatural world give me a final chance to avoid banishment.

Sally has recently left an unfulfilling job to volunteer at a living history museum, where she is assigned to the Death House. Every day, she dons Victorian mourning garb and describes traditional funeral services to tourists. It sounds depressing as hell, but for Sally, it’s less depressing than her tepid marriage to her childhood sweetheart. This becomes all too clear when she accidentally travels through time and space to a liminal world where the ghosts of the living history museum haunt its grounds. There, she meets and falls hard for Victorian-era pretty boy Nathaniel.

A kinetic manipulator who can turn vibrations into devastating shockwaves, Rattles, has already torn through Eauclaire's defenses. Buildings are in ruins, heroes are falling, and now he's coming for the city's criminal mastermind herself. But a certain gang of teenage girls—who wield powers drawn from the animal kingdom—stands in his way . . . Loyal and cunning, they wreak havoc in the name of their leader, known as the Boss. And thanks to their fight to tip the scales in the war between good and evil, evil always comes out ahead. But the Boss is no hardened villain.

Brought to you by Penguin. Over 1 million Discworld audiobooks sold – discover the extraordinary universe of Terry Pratchett’s Discworld like never before The audiobook of The Colour of Magic is read by Colin Morgan (Merlin; Testament of Youth; Belfast). BAFTA and Golden Globe award-winning...

With her new product line launched and an updated version of her suit to test, Tori Rivas is ready to focus on her work for a while. But when an eruption of power elsewhere in the multiverse sends monsters bursting into her world, the young villain will find herself in the crosshairs of an unexpected invader.

Evie Sage didn't mean to become the right-hand woman to the kingdom's most terrifying villain. One minute, she was applying for an entry-level position that promised "light paperwork and occasional beheadings," and the next, she was knee-deep in magical mayhem, murder plots, and an entirely inappropriate crush on her brooding, sharp-jawed, walking disaster of a boss.

Back when things were normal, Orrin the Timid tried saving his best friend, Daniel the Popular, from a runaway truck. But he failed, and the resulting crash landed them both in a world of magic, monsters, and levels. There, Orrin grew from a mild-mannered sidekick into a legit powerhouse, unlocking Administrator-level powers unlike anything else. Still, things are tough for the former zero.

Eloise Worthington is living her best afterlife. It helps that she was accidentally deposited in the supernatural section where immortals are put out to pasture. As the lone human among gods, witches, and a bevy of other species, it's all too apparent that she and her cat Mischief don't belong, not that Eloise minds what anyone else thinks. She's happy to take advantage of the village amenities and spend her eternal middle-aged years ogling the hot bods of the demigods.