Showing results for "The Dark" in Humorous

In this riotously funny dark romantasy, a conflicted villain and his unstoppable bride form the realm's most chaotic alliance. "What's mine, stays mine." Step One: Kidnap someone cute. Step Two: Force her into marriage. Step Three: Try not to get feelings. When Dark Lord Kazimir Blackrose...

Davi isn't your average zoomer. For starters, she's somehow become trapped in a fantasy world - and not one full of rainbows and unicorns, but one packed with all manner of terrifying monsters and deadly magic. Proper Lord of the Rings stuff. And, for reasons unknown, the humans of the Kingdom look to her for protection against the Dark Lord. To make matters worse, Davi's stuck in a time loop. So every time she fails to defeat the Dark Lord (which is every time) she has to start over. But Davi has a plan. What if instead of trying to defeat the Dark Lord...she becomes the Dark Lord instead?

The adventuring industry drives the economy of Arth, a world much like our own but with more magic and fewer vowels. Monsters' hoards are claimed, bought by corporate interests, and sold off to plunder funds long before the Heroes' Guild actually kills the beasts. Of course, that's a terrible arrangement for the Shadowkin; orcs, goblins, kobolds, and their ilk must apply for to become Noncombatant Paper Carriers (or NPCs) to avoid being killed and looted by heroes.

Crypt currency is the future. The enchantments are reliable. The aethernet infrastructure is sound. And despite the fact the currency is stored in something called a pocket crypt, relies on phantoms of the dead, and often involves a worrying green glow, experts agree it has nothing to do with necromancy. All of the big crypt magnates say so.

The second Dirk Gently book by Douglas Adams, The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul is a witty detective story perfect for fans of his phenomenally successful The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. This new audio edition is hilariously narrated by Stephen Mangan – star of Green Wing, Episodes, and...

Bryce and Zambrano must team up with friends, foes, and a demon duck to face an apocalyptic evil in the final installment of this energetic urban fantasy. The biggest downside to most assistant jobs is the endless coffee runs. But for Bryce Alexander, schlepping breakfast orders pales in...

You meet the most interesting men in medieval prisons. This one time, I met a guy who offered me immortality for the low, low price of changing my diet. I didn’t read the fine print. Because, he wasn’t talking about a gluten-free diet. More like hemoglobin-full. And now, I’m a friggin’ vampire with five centuries of pop culture references.

Still bruised and heartbroken from their last calamitous quest, Gorm Ingerson and his band of washed-up heroes try to make amends for the orcs they accidentally betrayed. But justice is put on hold when an old foe marches to the city gates. Gorm is horrified to discover a liche pitching the frightened city-dwellers on the merits of the undead lifestyle...at the head of a corpse army. To save the city from high-pressure sales tactics and an inevitable siege, the dwarf warrior and his misfit band hatch a harebrained scheme that lands them at the top of the king’s kill list.

Ever since Bryce Alexander and the infamous dark sorcerer Zambrano saved Earth by launching the demon duke Vulkatherak into the sun, things have been quiet. Zambrano is off doing whatever it is dark sorcerers do for fun, and Bryce has been taking advantage of the perks that come from supposedly evil internships, including free gym access and unlimited takeout. But when Zambrano reappears with a mission to infiltrate the vault of legendary magician Merlin, things start to go awry.

Isekaied into a level 86 Necromancer-King's body, I leave his life of war behind in favor of peace in the idyllic Borderlands. Upon meeting the elven maiden Narya Summerdew and a razor-toothed half-elven child, the three of us form an unlikely improvised family in the hopes of remaining anonymous. As we embrace the eccentric community of Gelderham, we find happiness in simplicity…But my past casts shadows on our growing bonds. How will Narya react when she learns her new husband was once the evil king set on destroying her people?

All stories come to an end, and thankfully this one is very cozy. In the final installment of Dark Lord of the Farmstead, find out what becomes of the Stillwater family. Mild spoilers: it's wholesome.

Bryce Alexander isn't exactly on a path to wizardly renown. In fact, his latest rejection from the Arcane Arts program at the Kotodama Institute has pretty much guaranteed his dream of attending magical college is over. But rather than give in to despair and join the manager training program at Samba Smoothies, he does something incredibly daring, unexpected, and . . . stupid. He sneaks into the Queens warehouse where the Dark Sorcerer Zambrano has recently been spotted and offers up his service as an apprentice.

With old allies and enemies clamoring to meet and negotiate with the new "Bright Lord of Gelderham", the world of Etherion seems destined to return to a new age of stability at last. Closer to home, now that Kaya has joined the family, the dynamic in the Stillwater household has changed forever. Children grow older, and the community grows closer. Gelderham always prospers, but uncertainties linger in spite of all this happiness. Several mysteries still loom over the heads of Gray and his family, in particular.

Of course, if there were only one thing under Liscor, there would be far less to fear. However, the dungeon continues to be a threat. At the same time, Goblins continue to roam northern Izril, but not all of them are as hostile to people as Tremborag or the Goblin Lord. Will the Unseen Emperor of Riverfarm make that distinction, however? A reckoning is coming as old faces and new reemerge. And all the while, The Wandering Inn is still serving food and respite and even plays to adventurers and Antinium alike. But something is coming from the dungeons. And it—they—are hungry.

Lawrence brings the Broken Empire series to its devastating conclusion The path to the throne is broken – only the broken can walk it The world is cracked and time has run through, leaving us clutching at the end days. These are the days that have waited for us all our lives. These are my days...

Ein einsames Dorf in den schottischen Highlands. Eine grausam entstellte Leiche. Und ein uraltes Geheimnis, das besser nie aufgerührt worden wäre. Als in Abercombe ein verstümmelter Körper gefunden wird, deutet zunächst alles auf einen Tierangriff hin. Doch als Magier und Ermittler Aillard Blackwood gemeinsam mit seiner Sondereinheit des New Scotland Yard den Tatort untersucht, stoßen sie auf etwas Ungeheuerliches: Spuren, die nicht nur tierisch sind – sondern auch menschlich.

Nothing ruins your day like a quest with a ransom note. Especially when you're a fake wizard with real problems. I was supposed to be dead. Instead, I'm stumbling through medieval Britain with Merlin's ghost backseat-driving my magical education. And now? Princess Guinevere's gone missing, and everyone's looking at me like I'm supposed to know what to do about it. Fantastic.

Raised on the streets of Lower Proszawa, Largo makes his living as a cycle courier in a vast, decadent metropolis. With a dazzling girlfriend and a chance of promotion, he avoids politics and delivers without question. While Lower Proszawa’s citizens seek oblivion in sex and drugs, secret police stalk its streets, strange beasts and intelligent machines emerge from its factories, and the powerful prepare for war. Soon, as the dark forces driving the city threaten everything he loves, Largo must confront them and fight to uncover their deepest secrets.

Brian Duffy, aging soldier of fortune, had been hired in Venice by a strange old man who called himself Aurelianus Ambrosius. He was supposed to go to Vienna and act as bouncer at an inn where the fabulous Herzwesten beer was brewed. That was clear enough. But why was he guided and guarded on the trip by creatures from the ancient legends? Why should he be attacked by ifrits and saved by mythical dwarfs? What was so important about the Herzwesten beer to the Fisher King—whoever he was?

A mysterious archive. A powerful enemy. And a cunning plan. The Dark Archive is the seventh book in the Invisible Library series by Genevieve Cogman. Danger is part of the day job for a librarian-spy. So Irene’s hoping for a relaxing weekend break in Guernsey, on the tail of a rare book...