Showing results for "The Limits of Forgiveness" in Psychology & Mental Health

We have all been hurt. You may still be feeling the pain of childhood abuse or neglect, the sting of rejection or abandonment, the shame of prejudice or ridicule. You may have already come far in healing your wounds. But until you can let go of anger, grudges, resentment, and the desire to punish your offender, those wounds will continue to hold you back from loving, giving and living fully.

From religious communities to therapeutic spaces, the importance of forgiving those who’ve wronged us is often enshrined as an unqualified good. But what about horrifying cases of abuse, predatory behavior, or systemic wrong? Too often, when predators or abusers are exposed, the chorus comes immediately: “What about forgiveness?” In these cases, forgiveness places the onus on victims, diminishes real hurt and anger, lets perpetrators off the hook, and prevents justice from being done. In Not So Sorry, Kaya Oakes tackles these questions with intelligence, nuance, and a bit of righteous anger.