Someone opened a brand-new Ledger from a third-party retailer and found an LTE modem, a SIM card and an antenna soldered under the board. The secure element never leaks the seed, so the implant read it off the display and texted it to the attacker, who sat on hundreds of seed phrases and drained them all at once: ~$102M in Bitcoin. A second implant turned up at a big German electronics retailer, so this is not one dodgy shop. Tyler tells his Cold Card tamper-bag story, Chris wants to weigh every hardware wallet on a microscale, and we revisit Tyler's Ep 1 call that self-custody doesn't scale past the early adopters. Fixes on the table: multi-vendor multisig and Bitcoin vaults. Then: Anthropic left GitHub after going from 2,500 to 30,000 code changes a day. Is SaaS dead? Tyler's agent built an entire SaaS business (Billing Proof, $250/mo, zero customers) and Chris vibe-coded a DoorDash shame tracker instead of paying for one. Layer-2 series, part two: Tyler explains the Lightning Network, channels, HTLCs, inbound liquidity, and why 7 billion channels won't fit in the blocks. Finally, a research paper split an open-weight model across 15 Android TV boxes and it kept thinking at half a token a second. Chris wants a goblin in his toaster. Perp of Fortune: the model picked a 3× long on STBL; we lost $9.

The Ledger implant is at 5:43. Chapters: Cold open (0:00) · Welcome, live from the moon (0:39) · Perp of Fortune: a 3× long on STBL (1:15) · The Ledger implant that read the seed off the screen (5:43) · Tyler's Cold Card tamper-bag story (7:40) · Inside the box: a SIM card, an antenna, and your 24 words (9:11) · Is self-custody dead? (12:58) · Fixes: multi-vendor multisig and Bitcoin vaults (17:14) · The death of SaaS: Anthropic leaves GitHub (20:42) · Tyler's agent built a SaaS nobody bought (22:01) · Chris vibe-coded his DoorDash shame tracker (31:01) · Layer-2 series: the Lightning Network (34:26) · How a Lightning channel works (37:24) · The downsides: inbound liquidity and always-on nodes (43:13) · Why Lightning can't onboard 7 billion people (47:25) · Self-replicating AI on 15 Android TV boxes (52:03) · Perp final: −$9 (59:26)

Recorded fully remote, three cameras, one dashboard. Our opinions are our own, not our employers'. NOT financial advice; Perp of Fortune is a small real-money account we run for entertainment. Glossary: STBL = governance token of a protocol that splits a tokenized Treasury into a principal token and a yield token. Seed phrase = the 24 words that back up a wallet's keys. Secure element = the tamper-resistant chip that holds the seed; the implant read the screen instead. Supply-chain attack = tampering with a product between the factory and the buyer. Multi-vendor multisig = a 2-of-3 wallet whose keys live on devices from different companies. Bitcoin vaults = proposed constructs that add a delay and a veto to withdrawals. Layer two = a protocol that moves transactions off the Bitcoin chain and settles back to it. Lightning channel = a 2-of-2 multisig pot two parties update off-chain. HTLC = hash time-locked contract, the trick that routes a payment across channels so everyone gets paid or no one does. Inbound liquidity = to receive on Lightning, someone else's coins must sit on their side of your channel. LSP = Lightning service provider, the intermediary most mobile wallets route through. Pipeline parallelism = splitting a model's layers across machines so each runs a slice.

Subscribe for next week: Poppy, Meta and Sierra's protocol for letting your agent act for you without your password; OUSD week two; the npm worm that holds packages hostage; Perp of Fortune rides again.