A sex and relationship columnist bares it all in a series of essays—part memoir, part manifesto—that explore the author’s coming of age and coming out as a bisexual man and move toward embracing and celebrating sex unencumbered by shame.

As a boy, Zachary Zane sensed that all was not right when images of his therapist naked popped into his head. He sometimes imagined other people naked, too, and without an explanation as to why, a deep sense of shame pervaded these thoughts. Though his therapist assured him a little imagination was nothing to be ashamed of, over the years, society told him otherwise.

Boys--t is a memoir-manifesto in which Zane articulates that, even today, we live in a world that shames people for the sex that they have and the sexualities that they inhabit. Through the lens of his bisexuality and much self-described s--ttiness, Zane breaks down exactly how this sexual shame negatively impacts the sex and relationships in our lives and, through personal experience, shares how we can unlearn the harmful, entrenched messages that society imparts to us.

From stories of play sessions with a neighbor at age six to the first explorations of Zane’s bisexuality in college, as well as sex parties, orgies, and fun with butt plugs, Boys--t is reassuring and often painfully funny—and most potently, it is a testimony that we can all learn to live healthier lives unburdened by stigma.