Disgrace

Greyson East left his mark on me. As the young girl who first fell for him, I didn’t know much about life. I did know about his smiles, though, and his laughs, and the strange way my stomach flipped when he was near. Life was perfect…until it wasn’t, and when we were forced to go our separate ways, I held on to our memories, let go of my first crush, and wished for the day I’d find him again.

Graham Russell and I weren't made for one another. I was driven by emotion; he was apathetic. I dreamed while he lived in nightmares. I cried when he had no tears to shed. Despite his frozen heart and my readiness to run, we sometimes shared seconds. Seconds when our eyes locked and we saw each other's secrets. Seconds when his lips tasted my fears and I breathed in his pains. Seconds when we both imagined what it would be like to love one another.

Vaughn Spencer. They call him an angry god. To me, he is nothing but a heartless prince. His parents rule this town, its police, every citizen and boutique on Main Street. All I own is a nice, juicy grudge against him for that time he almost killed me. Between hooking up with a different girl every weekend, breaking hearts, noses, and rules, Vaughn also finds the time to bully little ol' me. I fight back, tooth and nail, never expecting him to chase me across the ocean after we graduate high school.

I was warned about Tristan Cole. "Stay away from him," people said. "He's cruel." "He's cold." "He's damaged." It's easy to judge a man because of his past. To look at Tristan and see a monster. But I couldn't do that. I had to accept the wreckage that lived inside of him, because it also lived inside of me.

Shay Gable hated my guts, and I hated hers, too. We went out of our way to avoid one another at all times. When she came in my direction, I went the other. When we locked eyes, she’d turn and walk away. All of that changed the day I was presented with a challenge. It started out as a stupid bet: make Shay fall in love with me before I fell in love with her first. That was an easy bet for me to win. I didn’t love. I hardly liked. Yet slowly the game started to shift. Shay made me crave things I never knew I wanted.

I've had many moments in my lifetime, moments that changed me, challenged me. Moments that scared me and engulfed me. However, the biggest ones - the most heartbreaking and breathtaking ones - all included him. I was 10 years old when I lost my voice. A piece of me was stolen away, and the only person who could truly hear my silence was Brooks Griffin. He was the light during my dark days, the promise of tomorrow, until tragedy found him. Tragedy that eventually drowned him in a sea of memories.

Once upon a time, I fell in love with a boy. A beautiful, broken boy who had his own world of struggles. People warned me against our love, but I didn't listen. We looked weak. Young, foolish. Dangerously in love. We didn't care. In order to keep our hearts protected from the opinions of others, we became each other's secret. We shared stolen moments. Tender touches. Secretive embraces. It was our twisted love story, and it worked for us up until our lives changed forever.

It was easy to call us forbidden and harder to call us soul mates. Yet I believed we were both. Forbidden soul mates. When I arrived in Edgewood, Wisconsin, I didn't plan to find him. I didn't plan to stumble into Joe's bar and have Daniel's music stir up my emotions. I had no clue that his voice would make my hurts forget their own sorrow. I had no idea that my happiness would remember its own bliss.

Sometimes you meet people who are out of this world, so you make them a part of yours. A one-night stand born from vengeance in a foreign land. An explosive chemistry neither of us could deny. We signed a contract on the back of a Boar’s Head Pub napkin that said if we ever met again, we would drop everything and be together. Eight years and thousands of miles later, he’s here. In New York. And he’s America’s music obsession. 

There once was a boy, and I loved him. Logan Francis Silverstone and I were complete opposites. I danced, and he stood still. He was quiet while I ran my mouth. He struggled to find a smile, and I refused to frown. The night I saw the darkness that truly lived inside of him, I couldn't look away.

The beginning of my sophomore year in college was off to a rough start. On the first day of orientation, I had an altercation with an infuriating British dude in a campus bathroom. (The ladies’ room was out of order. So, I used the men’s room. Don’t judge.) I got home later that night and realized that the foreign student we were expecting to rent a room in my parents’ house was allergic to our cat. So, the spare room went to someone else: Caleb - the British guy from the men’s room. And so it began...my love-hate story with Caleb Yates. Or was it hate-love in that order?

Luna Rexroth is everyone’s favorite wallflower. Underneath the meek, tomboy exterior everyone loves (yet pities) is a girl who knows exactly what, and who, she wants - namely, the boy from the tree house who taught her how to curse in sign language. Who taught her how to laugh. To live. To love. Knight Cole is everyone’s favorite football hero. This daredevil hell-raiser could knock you up with his gaze alone, but he only has eyes for the girl across the street: Luna. But Luna is not who she used to be. She doesn’t need his protection anymore.

Célian Laurent. Manhattan royalty. Notorious playboy. Heir to a media empire...and my new boss. I could have impressed him, if not for last month's unforgettable one-night stand. I left it with more than orgasms and a pleasant memory - namely, his wallet. Now he's staring me down like I'm the dirt under his Italian loafers, and I'm supposed to take it. But the thing about being Judith "Jude" Humphry is I have nothing to lose. Brooklyn girl. Infamously quirky. Heir to a stack of medical bills and a tattered couch. 

Fake. That's what we are. That's what we agreed to be. So why does it feel so real? I thought it would have been harder, convincing everyone our school's star receiver was mine and mine alone, but I was wrong. We played our parts so well that the lines between us began to blur until they disappeared completely. The thing about pretending, though, is that someone's always better at it, and by the time I realized my mistake, there was no going back.

I had a plan to escape the friend zone. Step one: sneak into Reed’s room. Step two: sleep with him. But when the lights turned on, it wasn’t familiar blue eyes I saw. These were dark, angry, and full of demons. And they belonged to Reed’s much-older brother. Four years later, Nash Prescott is no longer the help’s angry son. I’m no longer the town’s prized princess. At 22, I’m broke, in need of a job. At 32, he’s a billionaire, in need of revenge.