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As Elyce Wakerman found in the scores of interviews she conducted, the loss of a father - through death, divorce, or abandonment - is the event that shapes a girl's life and all her future relationships. "In my fantasy," one woman commented, "he remains the perfect, all-giving man" - a difficult role for any other man to fill.
Based partly on the author's experience, partly on her in-depth interviews, and partly on a questionnaire she developed with psychologist Holly Barrett to which almost 600 women responded, Father Loss provides the clearest portrait yet of a very special group of women. As a group, they express their insecurities ("Sometimes I wonder if I'll ever be able to love a man totally...because that would mean I didn't love my father anymore." - Leslie). Yet individually, many have become outstanding achievers, including Eleanor Roosevelt ("He dominated my life as long as he lived and was the love of my life for years after he died."), Helen Gurney Brown ("People in business, my bosses, I look to them all as fathers."), Barbara Streisand, Gloria Steinem, Geraldine Ferraro and many others.
A best seller when it was first published 25 years ago and now updated and revised, Father Loss gives information and insight to fatherless daughters, to widows and divorcees with daughters, and to every father who needs to understand the vital role he plays in his daughter's life - as the first man she ever loves.
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- Emma Aitken
A book for any daughter who has lost her father
I would recommend this book to any daughter who has lost her father. Although more relevant to daughters bereaved as children, there is mention of daughters bereaved as adolescents and I find that regardless of the daughter’s age at the time of bereavement there is something to take away.
1 person found this helpful
- Nilas Moeller
The book has not aged well, solid placed in a feminist structural discurse, the author never adresses any biological determinants, only cultural forces- of which the feminist perspective is very simplifying.
An eksample of this is the suggestion “father” is a new invention, and early cultures were materical not realicing the male participation in making children! This is beyond dumb, a 1970ties feminist fringe theory- presented as a fact.
Another problem is the emperic data: women from 40ties and 50ties. Such perspective adresses a family structure and problems thats no longer relevant.
With that said, interesting stories of love and loss. To bad the author fail to see fathers role as more than one created by culture.