She built the life she was supposed to want. Then everything came crashing down.

A dear friend dies. Her marriage unravels. She’s laid off while alone in a foreign country as a global pandemic hits. Then, just when she thinks it can’t get worse, she gets the call that her father has died.

Thirty days later, beneath a full moon in rural Mexico, her father comes to her and takes her out of her body. In an instant, the experience shatters everything she thought she knew about death. What follows is a wild, often hilarious, sometimes heartbreaking search to understand what happened and what it means to be alive. From car crashes and chaotic hookups to psychedelic revelations, silent meditation retreats, robberies, and moments of inexplicable magic, Becca finds herself pulled deeper into the unknown.

What starts as a freefall becomes a journey through grief, consciousness, identity, and awakening. Along the way, a bigger question emerges: what if we are more than our bodies, stories, and identities we’ve mistaken for who we are?

Told with spiritual sass, hard-won wisdom, and gut-punching honesty, It’s Gonna Get Messy is a deeply human memoir that reads like fiction. It’s about losing the life you thought you wanted and questioning everything you believed about who you are and why you’re here. Finding your way back to yourself might be less about becoming someone new and more about remembering who you’ve been all along.

For readers of Glennon Doyle, Chelsea Handler, Gabrielle Bernstein, and Elizabeth Gilbert, this is a funny, raw, soul-stirring exploration of grief, awakening, consciousness, and what the hell it means to be a spiritual being having one very messy human experience.