You've said it. I've said it. We've all said it: "Don't worry — kids are resilient." But what if that phrase, however well-meaning, is actually doing more harm than good?

In this powerful episode, Celia Kibler sits down with Stacy Schaffer, MA, LPC — a dedicated children's and adolescent therapist with over 20 years of experience, Founder of Strong Hearts Counseling in Arvada, Colorado, and author of the brand-new book With Love from a Children's Therapist — for a conversation every parent needs to hear.

Stacy brings her whole self to this episode: her clinical expertise, her deeply personal story, and the raw honesty that has made her one of the most trusted voices in children's mental health.

Together, she and Celia dig into the real meaning of resilience, why kids' emotions don't just "go away," and what parents can do right now to raise children who are truly equipped for life — not just surviving it.

What You'll Hear in This Episode

Resilience is earned — not assumed.Stacy challenges the popular belief that kids automatically bounce back from trauma or loss. When we call children resilient without addressing their emotions, we may be unknowingly teaching them to suppress what they feel. Stacy shares her own heartbreaking experience of losing her mother and being praised for her "strength" — only to realize later that the praise made her afraid to actually grieve.

Your child's brain isn't finished — and that changes everything.The human brain doesn't fully develop until age 25. That means your child literally does not have the neurological tools to process trauma, regulate impulse, or reason through emotion the way an adult can. Celia and Stacy explore what this means for everyday parenting — including why asking "Why did you do that?" is often one of the least effective questions you can ask.

The hidden danger of "bedroom kids."Celia raises a crucial warning for parents of tweens and teens: when children disappear into their rooms and disengage from family life, parents lose visibility into their emotional world. One TikTok, one Snapchat moment of exclusion — and a child can spiral into isolation or depression without a parent even knowing it happened.

Tech, social media, and the tracking trap.Snap Maps. Find My Friends. Being "left on red." Stacy and Celia get real about how digital tools designed for safety and connection are being used by kids to surveil, exclude, and hurt one another — and how parents can stay aware without turning their kids into expert secret-keepers.

The question that changes everything.Stacy ends the episode with one simple, transformative question that every parent can start using today — a question that invites your child in, validates their experience, and builds the kind of trust that lasts a lifetime.

Stacy Schaffer is a Licensed Professional Counselor, the Founder and Director of Strong Hearts Counseling in Arvada, Colorado, and the author of With Love from a Children's Therapist: #lessonsihavelearnedalongtheway (2025). With over 20 years of experience working with children, adolescents, and young adults ages 3–30, Stacy specializes in grief, trauma, and Synergetic Play Therapy. She is also a trauma survivor herself, and her book weaves together her personal story with the wisdom she's gathered on both sides of the therapy couch.📖 Get the book: authorstacyschaffer.com💻 Connect with Stacy: stacyschaffer.com

RESOURCES FOR YOU!

• With Love from a Children's Therapist by Stacy Schaffer — available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Audible, and Spotify
• Raising Happy Toddlers by Celia Kibler — available at beabetterparent.com
• Be A Better Parent App — download at beabetterparent.com

If this episode moved you, challenged you, or gave you even one tool to try today — please share it with another parent who needs to hear it. Leave a comment, leave a review, and help someone else find this conversation.

Because the world gets better when parents get better.

There is something about difficult conversations that can make even the most loving parent want to avoid them, delay them, soften them too much, or come in with more emotion than they meant to.

In this episode of the Raising Eyebrows Miniseries, Celia Kibler and Dr. Kailey Buller talk about why these conversations matter so much, how to approach them with more calm and confidence, and what it really looks like to stay connected to your child when the topic is hard.

Whether you are talking about behavior, friendship struggles, boundaries, growing up, family changes, or anything your child may not want to hear, this conversation is here to remind you that hard talks do not have to break connection. They can build it.

Celia and Dr. Kailey unpack how to be honest without being harsh, how to stay steady when emotions rise, and how to create the kind of safety that helps children open up instead of shut down.

This is a grounded, real-life conversation for parents who want to stop second-guessing every word and start having the kinds of talks that lead to trust, emotional safety, and stronger relationships at home. If you have ever walked away from a conversation thinking, “I should have handled that better,” this episode will help you find a calmer and more effective way forward.

To stay connected with Celia Kibler, follow @beabetterparentdotcom and explore more support through the Be A Better Parent Skool community at skool.com/beabetterparent.

You can also connect with Dr. Kailey Buller at @vitalswithdrbuller for thoughtful, evidence-based support around motherhood, family health, and raising children with confidence.

And if you want parenting support right when real life is happening, be sure to download the Be A Better Parent app. It gives you on-demand guidance, practical tools, and real-time support to help you respond with more calm, clarity, and confidence, right when you need it most.

There is a reason so many parents feel confused, discouraged, and exhausted when it comes to discipline. One minute you are told you are too soft. The next minute you are told you are too hard. Then somewhere in the middle of trying to hold it all together, you raise your voice again and end the day feeling guilty, frustrated, and defeated.

In this episode of the Raising Eyebrows Series, we are talking honestly about why yelling may seem like it works in the moment, but slowly chips away at the kind of home and relationship most of us are actually trying to build. We dig into the difference between discipline and punishment, why fear gets quick compliance but not real growth, and what calm parenting actually looks like when you are tired, triggered, and trying your best in real life.

This is not about being perfect.

It is not about never getting frustrated.

And it is definitely not about pretending parenting is easy.

It is about learning how to guide your children with more clarity, more confidence, and more self-control, even when calm feels far away.

If you have ever wondered how to correct your child without constant power struggles, shame, or yelling, this conversation will meet you right where you are.

For more support, parenting tools, and real-life guidance, come connect with Celia here:
Instagram: @beabetterparentdotcom
Skool Community: skool.com/beabetterparent
And be sure to download the Be A Better Parent App, available on the App Store and Google Play.

You can also follow Dr. Kailey Buller for thoughtful, grounded support on motherhood, postpartum, and family health at:
Instagram: @vitalswithdrbuller

And if this episode speaks to your heart, we want to personally invite you to join us for the Day of Calm Global Summit, happening April 3 to 6, 2026.

This is a powerful online gathering created to help parents, educators, leaders, and caring humans come together around one very important truth: calm changes everything. You can learn more and reserve your place at CalmSummit.org.