What happens when Julie overhears Martha in a DC coffee shop?? They discover they're both passionate about the same marriage-saving system and more. In this conversation, Martha sits down with Julie Shain to discuss how Fair Play transformed their marriages, reduced conflict by up to 70%, and created space for the lives they actually wanted to live.

Julie opens up about navigating marriage with three kids under five, the passive-aggressive WhatsApp chains that nearly broke her relationship, and how a simple card game became the foundation for sustainable change. Plus, she shares her expertise on building positive habits that actually stick...no perfection required.

• Why the "unromantic stuff" (laundry, dishes, logistics) can make or break your happiness
• How Fair Play reduced marital friction by 70% in Julie's household
• The research-backed reason you need to celebrate small wins (yes, even as an adult)
• Why "frequency first" is the secret to making habits stick
• How to recover from falling off a habit without throwing everything away
• The five stages of change and why relapsing is actually normal
• Practical tips for families with ADHD to implement Fair Play successfully

Julie Shain is a habit formation expert, writer, and mother of three living in Washington, DC. She created Inhabit, a newsletter and platform dedicated to helping people build sustainable positive habits. Drawing on research in behavioral psychology and her personal experience transforming her own family dynamics, Julie writes about everything from exercise and relationships to quality time and Fair Play implementation.

• Fair Play by Eve Rodsky (book and card game)
• How Not to Hate Your Husband After Kids (book mentioned)
• Inhabit Quiz
• The Five Stages of Change
• Defeat the Troll Quiz
• Julie's IG
• Martha's IG

• Newsletter & Platform: getinhabit.substack.com

Love this episode? Share it with a friend who has ADHD, loves someone with ADHD or who's struggling with equity in manaing the home and family. And don't forget to subscribe so you never miss an episode!

• You keep trying to "fix yourself" with new routines and it never sticks
• You are exhausted from forcing systems that fight your brain
• You want to know when to tweak, and when to change the circumstance entirely

• Accommodations: changing how you access the thing, not the thing itself
• Modifications: changing the expectation, the workload, or the whole situation
• Why both are valid, and why one is not "better" than the other
• Real life examples: sleep, mornings, work schedules, and laundry

If something feels impossible, it does not automatically mean you are failing. It might mean you are trying to accommodate a system that actually needs a modification.

Sleep and mornings
• Accommodation: adjust bedtime routine, lower screens, simplify steps, optimize your room, set up a morning routine that helps you get moving
• Modification: negotiate a later start time, work from home, shift your work hours, or choose a job that matches your natural rhythm

Laundry
• Accommodation: lidless hamper, multiple hampers where clothes actually land, timers or NFC tags, a plan for the forgotten mildew load, systems that match your real day
• Modification: outsource laundry pickup and fold, then shift the family system to "put away only"

If you want help figuring out what to accommodate, what to modify, and what to throw out and rebuild completely, come work with me.
Find me at @marthahoffmancoaching and check the links in my bio.

Remember, you and your ADHD are not a problem to be fixed.

In this episode, I connect running advice to life with ADHD and all the pressure we feel to build perfect habits. We are told to add more and more habits, keep the streak going, never miss a day, and then we beat ourselves up the second we fall off. I am here to tell you that the real magic is in how quickly you restart, not how perfectly you never miss.

I will walk you through how to:

• Shift your focus from perfection to recovery
• Treat a missed day or a missed month as a normal part of being human
• Celebrate the 60 days you did the thing instead of obsessing over the 3 you did not
• Start again today instead of waiting for Monday or January
• Rewrite your identity from I never stick with anything to I restart quickly and I always come back

We will also talk about the sneaky stories you tell yourself about being someone who fails at goals and how to build a new identity around showing back up. Because your goals do not care if you were perfect. They care that you came back. This tiny mindset shift can completely reset your relationship with goal setting and make it so much easier to actually get where you want to go.

In this powerful episode, Martha sits down with Lori Sugarman Li; Fair Play Facilitator, family coach, and author of Our Home: The Love, Work, and Heart of Family. They talk about the often invisible and undervalued labor that keeps households running. Lori shares the story behind her children's book, a beautiful tool designed to spark conversations about equity, contribution, and care within families.

The conversation dives deep into Lori's journey from a career in marketing to full-time caregiving, the culture shock of moving from Canada's year-long parental leave to the U.S., and a pivotal moment when an insurance rep dismissed her value as "just a housewife." That experience sparked Lori's mission to reframe domestic labor as essential, valuable, and worthy of pride...not just for women, but for the entire family unit.

Martha and Lori explore why picture books remain powerful conversation starters at any age, how family values and neurodiverse needs shape household dynamics, and how shifting our language, from "chores" and "helping" to "contributing" and "trusting"...can create a more equitable, empowering home. They also touch on real-life strategies for fostering independence, using Fair Play with kids, and embracing imperfection along the way.

Whether you're a parent, caregiver, educator, or someone rethinking how your household runs, this episode is a must-listen reminder that the heart of home deserves to be seen, shared, and celebrated.

Connect with Lori:

• Instagram: @ourhomeourpride

• LinkedIn: Lori Sugarman Li

• Book: Our Home – Available wherever books are sold

Let me know if you want a shorter version for your podcast platform or a caption for social media.

In this episode, I break down how I support myself before, during, and after traveling for work—especially when attending conferences. Fresh off a recent trip, I'm sharing what helps me not just survive professional development experiences, but actually enjoy them, get what I need from them, and avoid total burnout.

As someone with ADHD who used to lead professional development for others, I've picked up a lot of tools along the way. Whether it's how I prep for travel, navigate sensory overload, or build in recovery time, this episode is full of real-life strategies for taking care of your future self.

What I cover:

🧳 Before care: prepping my body, mind, and bags (hydration, nutrition, sleep, CBD, packing tips)

👟 During care: finding quiet spaces, managing sensory overload, intentional socializing, and planned solo time

✈️ After care: the power of a buffer day, post-conference processing, and setting yourself up for a smoother re-entry into everyday life

If you've ever come home from a work trip feeling totally fried (and like you didn't retain anything), this one's for you.

Who this episode is for:

Folks with ADHD who travel for work

Anyone feeling overstimulated by conferences or networking

People looking to actually get something out of professional development

Money can feel overwhelming, especially when you have ADHD. In this episode, I sit down with my longtime friend and money coach, Keina Newell of Wealth Over Now, to talk about how we can break free from shame, make peace with our spending, and build a future that supports our needs—without giving up the things that bring us joy.

We explore:
Why thinking about "future you" is so hard with ADHD
The role of shame in financial decision-making
Practical steps to start managing money without overwhelm
How small, messy progress is better than waiting for the "perfect" time

Keina shares how she helped me shift my mindset and create financial habits that actually work for my ADHD brain. Whether you've struggled with budgeting, impulsive spending, or just avoiding money talk altogether, this episode will leave you feeling empowered to take action—one step at a time.

Listen now and start taking control of your money without the drama!

In this episode, Martha Hoffman speaks with Paige Connell, a working mom of four and a content creator who explores critical topics like the mental load in parenthood, domestic inequities, and systemic challenges such as affordable childcare and paid parental leave. They dive into the unique challenges faced by neurodivergent individuals and families, including how ADHD impacts domestic dynamics and parenting.

Martha and Paige share personal stories, thoughtful strategies, and valuable insights on navigating household responsibilities with equity—not equality. They discuss how to support without enabling, redefine productivity and rest, and create healthy, sustainable family dynamics. If you're a parent, partner, or anyone seeking practical advice on domestic balance, this conversation offers both compassion and actionable wisdom.

In this episode, we explore the intersection of ADHD and the mental load in relationships, uncovering the hidden costs of imbalance and how societal norms often add to the strain. Drawing on years of teaching experience, we discuss strategies to engage interest-based brains and tackle resistant behaviors—whether with middle schoolers or partners.

We dive into how gamifying emotional labor can help ADHD brains build lasting habits, why unlearning outdated gender roles is crucial, and the difference between skill and will when addressing mental load challenges. This conversation is packed with practical tools and real-life examples for anyone navigating ADHD or seeking balance in their partnerships.

Whether you're managing ADHD in your own life, supporting a partner with ADHD, or striving for a more equitable division of labor, this episode offers insights to help you take the next step.