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Able to Care

Able to Care

Written by: Andy Baker (Able Training)
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Able to Care with Andy Baker helps caregivers, teachers, parents and people who care, better understand behaviour, care and connection. Hosted by Behaviour Specialist, author and trainer Andy Baker, the podcast explores dementia, neurodiversity, mental health, education, parenting, safeguarding, communication and the human stories behind support.

© Copyright 2022 Able Training Support Limited. Hygiene & Healthy Living Parenting Psychology Psychology & Mental Health Relationships Self-Help Success
Episodes
  • Growing Up in Care: Rhiannon Hughes on Trauma, Survival and Sibling Separation

    Growing Up in Care: Rhiannon Hughes on Trauma, Survival and Sibling Separation
    Jun 29 2026

    In Part 1 of this two-part conversation, Andy Baker speaks with Rhiannon Hughes about her lived experience of growing up in care in both the UK and Spain, being separated from siblings, surviving instability, and carrying adult responsibilities from a very young age. Rhiannon shares what care felt like from the inside, what she needed most from the adults around her, and how trauma, inconsistency and loss shaped her journey. This episode will resonate with paid and unpaid caregivers, teachers, foster carers, parents and anyone supporting children with trauma, attachment needs or care experience. It is an honest, moving conversation about grief, survival, resilience and why the right adult relationships matter so much.

    In this episode, we explore:

    • What it felt like to enter care as a child
    • The impact of separation from siblings and repeated disruption
    • Differences between care experiences in the UK and Spain
    • What children in care really need from adults around them
    • How trauma, survival mode and responsibility shape identity
    • Rhiannon’s powerful story of helping her sister out of homelessness and addiction

    Three key messages from this episode:

    1. Children in care do not just need placements - they need consistency, patience and adults who keep showing up.
    2. Trauma can make children highly alert to people, threat and instability, so relationships must feel safe before they can feel meaningful.
    3. Lived experience can become a source of strength, empathy and purpose - but it often comes at a significant emotional cost.

    Timestamps / Chapters: 00:00 - Introduction and why this conversation matters 00:32 - Entering care at six years old due to abuse and neglect 02:15 - Foster care, children’s homes and sibling separation 04:01 - Moving to Spain and re-entering care overseas 05:19 - The grief of losing parents, home, siblings and safety 06:24 - What Rhiannon needed most from adults: consistency and patience 09:30 - The difference between care in Spain and the UK 12:13 - What resilience really cost her 15:49 - Leaving care, homelessness and falling through the gaps 19:16 - Finding purpose in lived experience and moving into care recruitment 23:42 - Why connection and consistency matter more than just filling staff gaps

    Why listen to this episode: If you work with children in care, support care-experienced young people, or want to better understand trauma from the inside out, this episode is essential listening. Rhiannon’s story is raw, honest and deeply human. It offers a powerful reminder that behind every behaviour is a history, behind every coping strategy is a survival story, and behind every “difficult” young person is often a child who has had to grow up far too soon.

    Resources mentioned / useful links:

    • Rhiannon Hughes LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/rhiannon-hughes-a85469217?utm_source=share&utm_campaign=share_via&utm_content=profile&utm_medium=ios_app
    • Residential Recruitment: http://www.residentialrecruitment.co.uk
    • Contact Rhiannon: Rhiannon@residentialrecruitment.co.uk

    Follow Able / Able to Care:

    • Website: https://able-training.co.uk/podcast
    • LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/able-training-ltd-/
    • TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@abletocarepodcast
    • YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@abletocarepodcast
    • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/AbleTraining

    Coming next: Part 2 is released next Tuesday, where the conversation shifts into staffing, recruitment, children’s homes, therapeutic care, and what truly makes an adult change a child’s life.
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    24 mins
  • Social Media & Phone Ban: Why Taking Phones Away Can Make Behaviour Worse

    Social Media & Phone Ban: Why Taking Phones Away Can Make Behaviour Worse
    Jun 22 2026
    Phones, screens, devices and social media are now part of everyday life for children and young people - but the arguments, sleep disruption, emotional fallouts and power struggles that come with them are leaving many parents, carers and professionals unsure what to do next. In this solo episode, Andy Baker explores why simply taking a phone away might bring short-term compliance but can also create long-term resentment, covert behaviour and bigger escalations. Instead of asking only how to stop screen use, Andy unpacks what the phone may actually be doing for a young person - whether that is offering connection, comfort, control, competence, distraction or dopamine regulation - and why that matters if we want to create real change. This episode will be especially useful for paid and unpaid caregivers, teachers, support staff and parents who want a more thoughtful, practical and trauma-informed way of managing screen-related behaviour. In this episode, Andy covers: Why the idea that “control equals safety” often backfiresThe difference between a design problem and a parenting problemWhy blanket bans and fear-based responses rarely teach real regulationWhat phones may be doing for a child or young person emotionallyHow to replace power struggles with collaborative boundariesWhy support, planning and alternatives work better than punishment alone Three key messages 1. The phone is often not the real problem A device may be meeting needs around connection, control, comfort, boredom relief, competence or anxiety management. If we only remove the phone without understanding its function, we usually create a bigger battle rather than a better outcome. 2. Punishment may stop the behaviour briefly, but it rarely teaches regulation Taking a phone away can produce short-term compliance, but it can also increase resentment, secrecy, escalation and rebellion if nothing healthier is put in its place. 3. Better boundaries are built through calm planning, collaboration and repair Andy shares a more effective route: agree boundaries when calm, offer choices, make expectations measurable, and plan for slip-ups so that responsibility grows instead of conflict. Why listen to this episode? If you support a child or young person who becomes dysregulated around phones, social media, gaming or screen time, this episode will help you think more clearly and respond more effectively. Rather than relying on threats, bans or constant arguments, Andy offers a more nuanced way of understanding behaviour that fits real family life, care settings and educational environments. It is a practical listen for anyone trying to balance healthy boundaries with empathy, emotional safety and long-term skill building. Timestamps / Chapter markers 00:00 Why taking a phone away can create more problems than it solves 00:21 Phones, screens, social media and the power struggles around them 00:58 Why this is not just a parenting issue, but also a design issue 01:35 The need for nuance - not every screen is harmful in the same way 02:29 Why blanket bans often increase desire rather than teach regulation 03:30 Andy’s free family commitment tool for safer screen use at home 04:32 How devices have become the modern threat, bribe and power lever 05:05 A real-life scenario: phone use, poor sleep and escalating conflict 06:05 Why the reaction does not always justify the trigger 06:23 What function the phone may be serving for a young person 07:29 Dopamine, distraction and why devices can feel hard to regulate 08:22 Why removing the strategy without replacing the need does not work 09:00 The key needs to explore: connection, control, comfort, competence and challenge 10:11 Practical strategies: reduce the need, offer alternatives and teach better regulation 12:11 A better approach: agree boundaries when calm 13:00 Give structured choices rather than forcing compliance 14:11 Make expectations clear and measurable 14:39 Plan for slip-ups and return to repair, not punishment 15:57 Free resource: Home Electronics Plan and Family Commitment Tool 16:33 Final reflections and takeaway message Resources mentioned Free resource from Andy Baker Home Electronics Plan and Family Commitment Tool Able Training website able-training.co.uk/podcast Andy’s book Targeting the Positive with Behaviours That Challenge (Referenced as part of Andy’s wider behaviour framework and approach.) Follow Able Website: able-training.co.uk/podcast LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/able-training-ltd-/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/AbleTraining TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@abletocarepodcast YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@abletocarepodcast If you’ve ever found yourself in a stand-off over a phone, this episode will help you step back, understand what is really going on, and build a more thoughtful plan that supports regulation, safety and healthier long-term habits.
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    18 mins
  • Therapeutic Kindness in Children’s Homes: Building Strong Teams for Better Care

    Therapeutic Kindness in Children’s Homes: Building Strong Teams for Better Care
    Jun 15 2026

    In this episode of the Able to Care Podcast, Andy Baker speaks with Carmel Saulbrey, Managing Director of Niche Care Homes and founder of The Kindness Code, about what it really takes to build strong, resilient teams in children’s residential care. This conversation explores the emotional demands placed on staff, why therapeutic care is about far more than specialist interventions, and how kindness, consistency and workforce development can change outcomes for both children and the adults supporting them. If you are a caregiver, teacher, parent, foster carer or support professional interested in trauma-informed practice, therapeutic care, staff wellbeing, and children’s residential homes, this episode offers practical insight and real honesty.

    What this episode covers

    Andy and Carmel explore what makes a children’s home truly therapeutic on a day-to-day level, why staff burnout and turnover are such major issues in residential care, and how even good, caring adults can struggle under pressure when supporting children with trauma. Carmel shares why she believes kindness should be treated as a professional standard, not a soft extra, and explains how The Kindness Code was created to help staff practise therapeutic responses, build confidence, and embed training in real-life scenarios.

    Why listen to this episode?

    If you work with children who have experienced trauma, this episode will help you think more deeply about:

    • how therapeutic care shows up in ordinary moments
    • why good staff sometimes leave difficult roles
    • how to support teams without losing boundaries
    • what kindness really looks like when behaviour is challenging
    • why workforce development matters just as much as child-centred practice

    This is a thoughtful episode for anyone who wants to build safer relationships, stronger teams and more consistent care.

    Three key messages

    1. Therapeutic care is lived in the small moments. It is not just about specialist sessions - it is about how adults respond, repair, connect and stay calm in everyday interactions.

    2. Kindness is not weakness. True therapeutic kindness includes warmth, boundaries, honesty and consistency, even when a child is distressed or dysregulated.

    3. If we care for the team, the team can care for the children. Staff need support, confidence, practice and psychological safety if they are going to offer children the regulation and connection they need.

    Timestamps

    00:00 - Introduction and Carmel’s journey into children’s residential care 00:46 - What makes a children’s home therapeutic in real life 02:02 - Why the emotional demand on staff is so high 06:13 - Why good people leave children’s care roles 11:10 - The difference between managing behaviour and building safety 15:45 - Everyday acts of love, regulation and belonging in children’s homes 20:01 - Why Carmel created The Kindness Code 24:27 - Using AI to help staff practise therapeutic responses 31:00 - The team culture needed to stay calm, kind and consistent 42:59 - Carmel’s hopes for The Kindness Code 46:22 - A closing message for exhausted residential support workers

    Resources mentioned
    • The Kindness Code Training and practice support designed to help staff embed therapeutic kindness, build confidence, and respond more effectively in children’s residential care.
    • Niche Care Homes Carmel’s children’s residential care homes focused on therapeutic practice, workforce development and creating better outcomes for children.
    • The Kindness Code Podcast Mentioned as part of Carmel’s wider work and message around kindness, care and staff development.
    About the guest

    Carmel Saulbrey is the Managing Director of Niche Care Homes and founder of The Kindness Code. She is passionate about improving outcomes in children’s residential care by strengthening workforce development, supporting staff wellbeing, and helping teams embed therapeutic practice consistently. Carmel believes that by investing in compassionate, confident and well-supported teams, we create better environments for children and the adults who care for them.

    Connect with Able

    Website: able-training.co.uk/podcast LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/able-training-ltd-/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@abletocarepodcast YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@abletocarepodcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/AbleTraining
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    48 mins
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