"You can't handle the truth"

Episode 122 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1992 Code Red-ing, softball bat thinking, Guantanamo Bay-ing, classic A Few Good Men. Ryan and Mark talk about smelling your clothes, Netflix almost broadcasting a snuff film and whether murdering a Marine is ever okay.

Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd like to see on in future episodes and to suggest a film.

Email : absolutecutspodcast@hotmail.com

You can follow the podcast on social media here -

Twitter : @AbsoluteCuts

Instagram : @AbsoluteCutsPod

Please leave a 5 star rating and review if you have enjoyed and recommend us to anyone you think might enjoy the pod.

The Absolute Cuts soundtrack can be found here :

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7y4PQxrbJk7PJLz3IJKIot?si=1d999a719b17409b

You can also find both Nelson and Cullen at the various places below -

Mark Links

LIQUID GOLD Tour 2025/26 Tickets and FRINGE SHOW tickets https://linktr.ee/marknelsoncomic

BBC SPECIAL https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m0026gr4/mark-nelson-live-from-dumfries

Twitter : @marknelsoncomic

Instagram : @marknelsoncomic

Facebook : MarkNelsonComic

Youtube : Mark Nelson - YouTube

LINKTREE : marknelsoncomic | Instagram, Facebook | Linktree

Ryan Links

NEW SPECIAL https://youtu.be/_EIdRCFlCqk?si=jyznUrONsrcgfztP

Twitter : @RyanCullen90

Instagram : @ryancullen90

Tik Tok : @ryancullencomedy

Tour Tickets : https://linktr.ee/ryancullen90

Bookings : ryancullen90 | Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, TikTok | Linktree

"P-A-R-T-Y? Cos I GOTTA"

Episode 121 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1994 red dress smouldering, wolf whistling, Cuban Pete-ing classic The Mask. Ryan and Mark talk about how pathetic Andrew Tate is, getting a hair in your mouth and why The Mask is the villain of this film.

Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd like to see on in future episodes and to suggest a film.

Email : absolutecutspodcast@hotmail.com

You can follow the podcast on social media here -

Twitter : @AbsoluteCuts

Instagram : @AbsoluteCutsPod

Please leave a 5 star rating and review if you have enjoyed and recommend us to anyone you think might enjoy the pod.

The Absolute Cuts soundtrack can be found here :

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7y4PQxrbJk7PJLz3IJKIot?si=1d999a719b17409b

You can also find both Nelson and Cullen at the various places below -

Mark Links

LIQUID GOLD Tour 2025/26 Tickets and FRINGE SHOW tickets https://linktr.ee/marknelsoncomic

BBC SPECIAL https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m0026gr4/mark-nelson-live-from-dumfries

Twitter : @marknelsoncomic

Instagram : @marknelsoncomic

Facebook : MarkNelsonComic

Youtube : Mark Nelson - YouTube

LINKTREE : marknelsoncomic | Instagram, Facebook | Linktree

Ryan Links

NEW SPECIAL https://youtu.be/_EIdRCFlCqk?si=jyznUrONsrcgfztP

Twitter : @RyanCullen90

Instagram : @ryancullen90

Tik Tok : @ryancullencomedy

Tour Tickets : https://linktr.ee/ryancullen90

Bookings : ryancullen90 | Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, TikTok | Linktree

"I steer a little bit, but the reindeer do most of the work"

Episode 120 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2022 Santa vomiting, hammer wielding, chimney disembowling classic Violent Night. Ryan and Mark discuss Cullen's Dad committing crimes, the worst possible death imagineable and why Santa has a bigger kill count than most movie characters.

Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd like to see on in future episodes and to suggest a film.

Email : absolutecutspodcast@hotmail.com

You can follow the podcast on social media here -

Twitter : @AbsoluteCuts

Instagram : @AbsoluteCutsPod

Please leave a 5 star rating and review if you have enjoyed and recommend us to anyone you think might enjoy the pod.

The Absolute Cuts soundtrack can be found here :

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7y4PQxrbJk7PJLz3IJKIot?si=1d999a719b17409b

You can also find both Nelson and Cullen at the various places below -

Mark Links

LIQUID GOLD Tour 2025/26 Tickets and FRINGE SHOW tickets https://linktr.ee/marknelsoncomic

BBC SPECIAL https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m0026gr4/mark-nelson-live-from-dumfries

Twitter : @marknelsoncomic

Instagram : @marknelsoncomic

Facebook : MarkNelsonComic

Youtube : Mark Nelson - YouTube

LINKTREE : marknelsoncomic | Instagram, Facebook | Linktree

Ryan Links

NEW SPECIAL https://youtu.be/_EIdRCFlCqk?si=jyznUrONsrcgfztP

Twitter : @RyanCullen90

Instagram : @ryancullen90

Tik Tok : @ryancullencomedy

Tour Tickets : https://linktr.ee/ryancullen90

Bookings : ryancullen90 | Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, TikTok | Linktree

Here you go Cuts. The best of all the episodes so far. Our funniest clips so far as chosen by our wonderful patreons.

Apologies for our absence. This is due to circumstance massively out-with our control. All will be explained.

Mark and Ryan will be back next week with the last of your Christmas specials VIOLENT NIGHT and a patreon only episode where we tackle the classic BONE ALONE.

"Merry Christmas. Shitter was full"

Episode 119 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1989 tree felling, sled crashing, cat frying classic National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation. Ryan and Mark discuss Mick McCarthy, why some kids shouldn't get Christmas presents and how Clark W Griswold is the horniest movie Dad.

Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd like to see on in future episodes and to suggest a film.

Email : absolutecutspodcast@hotmail.com

You can follow the podcast on social media here -

Twitter : @AbsoluteCuts

Instagram : @AbsoluteCutsPod

Please leave a 5 star rating and review if you have enjoyed and recommend us to anyone you think might enjoy the pod.

The Absolute Cuts soundtrack can be found here :

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7y4PQxrbJk7PJLz3IJKIot?si=1d999a719b17409b

You can also find both Nelson and Cullen at the various places below -

Mark Links

LIQUID GOLD Tour 2025/26 Tickets and FRINGE SHOW tickets https://linktr.ee/marknelsoncomic

BBC SPECIAL https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m0026gr4/mark-nelson-live-from-dumfries

Twitter : @marknelsoncomic

Instagram : @marknelsoncomic

Facebook : MarkNelsonComic

Youtube : Mark Nelson - YouTube

LINKTREE : marknelsoncomic | Instagram, Facebook | Linktree

Ryan Links

NEW SPECIAL https://youtu.be/_EIdRCFlCqk?si=jyznUrONsrcgfztP

Twitter : @RyanCullen90

Instagram : @ryancullen90

Tik Tok : @ryancullencomedy

Tour Tickets : https://linktr.ee/ryancullen90

Bookings : ryancullen90 | Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, TikTok | Linktree

"PUT THE COOKIE DOWN, NOW"

Episode 118 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1996 neighbour shagging, reindeer lamping, Turbomanning classic Jingle All The Way. Ryan and Mark discuss Christmas gigs, the World Cup draw and how this film has the most inappropriate character in any Christmas film.

Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd like to see on in future episodes and to suggest a film.

Email : absolutecutspodcast@hotmail.com

You can follow the podcast on social media here -

Twitter : @AbsoluteCuts

Instagram : @AbsoluteCutsPod

Please leave a 5 star rating and review if you have enjoyed and recommend us to anyone you think might enjoy the pod.

The Absolute Cuts soundtrack can be found here :

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7y4PQxrbJk7PJLz3IJKIot?si=1d999a719b17409b

You can also find both Nelson and Cullen at the various places below -

Mark Links

LIQUID GOLD Tour 2025/26 Tickets and FRINGE SHOW tickets https://linktr.ee/marknelsoncomic

BBC SPECIAL https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m0026gr4/mark-nelson-live-from-dumfries

Twitter : @marknelsoncomic

Instagram : @marknelsoncomic

Facebook : MarkNelsonComic

Youtube : Mark Nelson - YouTube

LINKTREE : marknelsoncomic | Instagram, Facebook | Linktree

Ryan Links

NEW SPECIAL https://youtu.be/_EIdRCFlCqk?si=jyznUrONsrcgfztP

Twitter : @RyanCullen90

Instagram : @ryancullen90

Tik Tok : @ryancullencomedy

Tour Tickets : https://linktr.ee/ryancullen90

Bookings : ryancullen90 | Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, TikTok | Linktree

"Rand Peltzer, Fantastic ideas for a Fantastic World, I make the illogical logical"

Episode 117 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1984 bright lighting, wet getting, after Midnight feeding classic Gremlins. Ryan and Mark discuss the various gifts that Cuts fans have given us, Robbie Williams' boyband Battle Royale and Nelson has theories about what Gremlins is actually about.

Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd like to see on in future episodes and to suggest a film.

Email : absolutecutspodcast@hotmail.com

You can follow the podcast on social media here -

Twitter : @AbsoluteCuts

Instagram : @AbsoluteCutsPod

Please leave a 5 star rating and review if you have enjoyed and recommend us to anyone you think might enjoy the pod.

The Absolute Cuts soundtrack can be found here :

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7y4PQxrbJk7PJLz3IJKIot?si=1d999a719b17409b

You can also find both Nelson and Cullen at the various places below -

Mark Links

LIQUID GOLD Tour 2025/26 Tickets and FRINGE SHOW tickets https://linktr.ee/marknelsoncomic

BBC SPECIAL https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m0026gr4/mark-nelson-live-from-dumfries

Twitter : @marknelsoncomic

Instagram : @marknelsoncomic

Facebook : MarkNelsonComic

Youtube : Mark Nelson - YouTube

LINKTREE : marknelsoncomic | Instagram, Facebook | Linktree

Ryan Links

NEW SPECIAL https://youtu.be/_EIdRCFlCqk?si=jyznUrONsrcgfztP

Twitter : @RyanCullen90

Instagram : @ryancullen90

Tik Tok : @ryancullencomedy

Tour Tickets : https://linktr.ee/ryancullen90

Bookings : ryancullen90 | Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, TikTok | Linktree

"Do heavy metalers eat chips, Larry?"

Episode 116 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1996 nappy battering, dog flattening, Packie Bonnar penalty saving classic The Van. Ryan and Mark discuss Scotland's triumphant return to the World Cup, Wicked and how we have now completed or first trilogy, the Barrytown saga.

Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd like to see on in future episodes and to suggest a film.

Email : absolutecutspodcast@hotmail.com

You can follow the podcast on social media here -

Twitter : @AbsoluteCuts

Instagram : @AbsoluteCutsPod

Please leave a 5 star rating and review if you have enjoyed and recommend us to anyone you think might enjoy the pod.

The Absolute Cuts soundtrack can be found here :

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7y4PQxrbJk7PJLz3IJKIot?si=1d999a719b17409b

You can also find both Nelson and Cullen at the various places below -

Mark Links

LIQUID GOLD Tour 2025/26 Tickets and FRINGE SHOW tickets https://linktr.ee/marknelsoncomic

BBC SPECIAL https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m0026gr4/mark-nelson-live-from-dumfries

Twitter : @marknelsoncomic

Instagram : @marknelsoncomic

Facebook : MarkNelsonComic

Youtube : Mark Nelson - YouTube

LINKTREE : marknelsoncomic | Instagram, Facebook | Linktree

Ryan Links

NEW SPECIAL https://youtu.be/_EIdRCFlCqk?si=jyznUrONsrcgfztP

Twitter : @RyanCullen90

Instagram : @ryancullen90

Tik Tok : @ryancullencomedy

Tour Tickets : https://linktr.ee/ryancullen90

Bookings : ryancullen90 | Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, TikTok | Linktree