In this episode, I'm getting real about something I just realized: I've been waiting for permission to do the things I really want to do. I've been circling my dreams instead of going all in—playing it safe by putting myself out there without actually asking for what I want. I share a story about an uncomfortable gondola ride at a ski resort that showed me how I've been abandoning myself in small ways, waiting for someone to grant me permission to charge for my services, turn on paid subscriptions, and truly own my value. If you're a woman over 40 who's been keeping your goals at arm's length, afraid to rock the boat, or struggling with people pleasing, I hope this episode challenges you to shift just one degree and finally give yourself permission to do the things that scare you. It's time for both of us to stop self-abandoning and start showing up for ourselves.

Key Takeaways

1. You might be waiting for permission without realizing it Many of us keep ourselves safe by "doing things" without actually asking for what we want—whether that's charging for services, setting boundaries, or pursuing bold goals. We circle our dreams instead of going all in.

2. People pleasing and self-abandonment show up in unexpected ways Sometimes the smallest moments—like getting on a gondola when you don't want to—reveal how often you override your own needs to avoid rocking the boat or meeting others' expectations.

3. Shifting one degree is enough to start You don't need everything figured out to take a bold step forward. Start by giving yourself permission to do just one thing that scares you, and trust that the path will reveal itself.

Connect With Me

Website: amcostanzo.com
YouTube: amcostanzowellness
Pinterest: acostanzo
Instagram: aging.fiercely

💬 Let's Continue the Conversation

What was your biggest takeaway from this episode? Are you waiting for permission in some area of your life? I'd love to hear from you! Share your thoughts on Instagram and tag me. (@aging.fiercely)

Don't forget to subscribe, rate, and review the podcast if you found this episode valuable. It helps other people discover the show! ❤️

Starting 2026 with self-trust and protecting your peace might be the most radical thing you do this year. In this powerful episode about identity work for women over 40, I share why our deepest fear isn't inadequacy—it's actually that we're powerful beyond measure, and what that means for creating lasting change in midlife. If you've been struggling with nervous system regulation, feeling like you're constantly running from one thing to the next, or wondering how to build self-trust after years of self-abandoning, this episode is for you.

1. Your Deepest Fear Is Actually Your Greatest Power - Identity Work & Self-Trust Marianne Williamson wrote in A Return to Love: "Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure." When you realize the enormity of your potential, it means questioning everything—the routines, relationships, and beliefs that built your current life. This is why personal transformation feels so scary: it requires dismantling what you've created to step into who you're becoming.

2. Protecting Your Peace Means Slowing Down & Nervous System Regulation Protecting your peace isn't just a phrase—it's about dropping into the present moment instead of spiraling through your to-do list. When you slow down and get conscientious about what you're doing (even packaging a box), you stop future-thinking, calm your nervous system, and actually do better work. This is the opposite of the dysregulated state we've normalized.

3. Internal Change Creates External Results Through Identity Work If you don't change on the inside, nothing lasting will change on the outside. How you see yourself internally shows up externally. This is why willpower doesn't work for midlife women—you can't sustain change that conflicts with your identity. My new Breakthrough Sessions focus on closing the gap between how you feel now and how you want to feel by shifting how you see yourself at the identity level.

Substack - substack.com/amcostanzo

Website: amcostanzo.com

Pinterest: acostanzo

Instagram: aging.fiercely

If this hit home for you, I'd love it if you'd leave a quick 5-star rating or just drop a ❤️ in the comments. Or hit that follow button so we can keep spreading the word that midlife isn't a crisis—it's a comeback!

• [00:04] Welcome to 2026 and why this year feels different
• [14:00] Understanding what "protect your peace" really means
• [22:00] The power of slowing down and dropping into the moment
• [37:38] Why identity work is the key to lasting transformation
• [48:00] Marianne Williamson's quote: "Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure"
• [56:00] What it means to have power beyond measure
• [66:00] Starting to see yourself differently and rocking the boat
• [80:00] The two words guiding 2026: calm certainty and self-trust
• [92:00] Ending self-abandonment and what that journey looks like

Making real friends in midlife can be harder than it should be. But here's the thing: genuine connection might be exactly what's missing when life starts to feel like you're just checking boxes.

In this episode, I'm talking with Cheryl Dillon, founder of Funderful Experiences, about how she's creating spaces where midlife women can connect—not surface-level "how are the kids" stuff, but real conversations that fill you up instead of drain you.

Cheryl spent 15 years as a divorce coach, and then hit this turning point where she realized she wanted more joy in her own life. Not because anything was broken, but because she started asking herself: What do I want? What lights me up? And why am I waiting to change?

We dive into why midlife is this pivotal moment when you start questioning everything, how to stop living for everyone else's approval, and why putting yourself out there to find new friendships is so worth the awkwardness. Cheryl also gets real about "kissing frogs" to find your people, why being busy is often just avoidance, and how doing the things that bring you joy isn't selfish—it's essential.

If you're craving more meaningful connections and ready to prioritize what matters to you, this conversation will remind you that it's not too late.

Key Takeaways

1. Mortality awareness is your wake-up call to live more authentically When you start recognizing that time is finite, everything shifts. We explore why this realization pushes you to stop making excuses, carve out your own path, and ask yourself, "If not now, when?" instead of waiting for permission to live fully.

2. Self-love isn't selfish—it's the missing piece to everything else Becoming your own best friend transforms how you show up in every area of life. Cheryl shares why learning to love yourself through therapy, coaching, or small daily practices is the foundation for creating the meaningful friendships and joyful experiences you're missing.

3. Creating connection requires intentional community and shared experiences Cheryl's Funderful Experiences membership brings midlife women together through gatherings designed to spark authentic connection and joy. We talk about how showing up, being vulnerable, and prioritizing these soul-feeding moments isn't a luxury—it's essential for your well-being.

4. Time scarcity is often just avoidance in disguise We tell ourselves we're "too busy" for friendships, but prioritizing connection actually gives you energy back. Those meaningful conversations and fun moments with friends aren't luxuries—they're what feed your soul and make everything else easier.

Connect With Cheryl Dillon

Website: funderfulexperiences

Instagram: @funderful_experiences

Connect With Me

Website: amcostanzo.com

Instagram: aging.fiercely

YouTube: amcostanzo

💬 Let's Continue the Conversation

What was your biggest takeaway from this episode? I'd love to hear from you! Share your thoughts on Instagram!

Don't forget to subscribe, rate, and review the podcast if you found this episode valuable. It helps other women discover the show! ❤️