In this episode, I'm getting real about something I just realized: I've been waiting for permission to do the things I really want to do. I've been circling my dreams instead of going all in—playing it safe by putting myself out there without actually asking for what I want. I share a story about an uncomfortable gondola ride at a ski resort that showed me how I've been abandoning myself in small ways, waiting for someone to grant me permission to charge for my services, turn on paid subscriptions, and truly own my value. If you're a woman over 40 who's been keeping your goals at arm's length, afraid to rock the boat, or struggling with people pleasing, I hope this episode challenges you to shift just one degree and finally give yourself permission to do the things that scare you. It's time for both of us to stop self-abandoning and start showing up for ourselves.

Key Takeaways

1. You might be waiting for permission without realizing it Many of us keep ourselves safe by "doing things" without actually asking for what we want—whether that's charging for services, setting boundaries, or pursuing bold goals. We circle our dreams instead of going all in.

2. People pleasing and self-abandonment show up in unexpected ways Sometimes the smallest moments—like getting on a gondola when you don't want to—reveal how often you override your own needs to avoid rocking the boat or meeting others' expectations.

3. Shifting one degree is enough to start You don't need everything figured out to take a bold step forward. Start by giving yourself permission to do just one thing that scares you, and trust that the path will reveal itself.

Connect With Me

Website: amcostanzo.com
YouTube: amcostanzowellness
Pinterest: acostanzo
Instagram: aging.fiercely

💬 Let's Continue the Conversation

What was your biggest takeaway from this episode? Are you waiting for permission in some area of your life? I'd love to hear from you! Share your thoughts on Instagram and tag me. (@aging.fiercely)

Don't forget to subscribe, rate, and review the podcast if you found this episode valuable. It helps other people discover the show! ❤️

Starting 2026 with self-trust and protecting your peace might be the most radical thing you do this year. In this powerful episode about identity work for women over 40, I share why our deepest fear isn't inadequacy—it's actually that we're powerful beyond measure, and what that means for creating lasting change in midlife. If you've been struggling with nervous system regulation, feeling like you're constantly running from one thing to the next, or wondering how to build self-trust after years of self-abandoning, this episode is for you.

1. Your Deepest Fear Is Actually Your Greatest Power - Identity Work & Self-Trust Marianne Williamson wrote in A Return to Love: "Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure." When you realize the enormity of your potential, it means questioning everything—the routines, relationships, and beliefs that built your current life. This is why personal transformation feels so scary: it requires dismantling what you've created to step into who you're becoming.

2. Protecting Your Peace Means Slowing Down & Nervous System Regulation Protecting your peace isn't just a phrase—it's about dropping into the present moment instead of spiraling through your to-do list. When you slow down and get conscientious about what you're doing (even packaging a box), you stop future-thinking, calm your nervous system, and actually do better work. This is the opposite of the dysregulated state we've normalized.

3. Internal Change Creates External Results Through Identity Work If you don't change on the inside, nothing lasting will change on the outside. How you see yourself internally shows up externally. This is why willpower doesn't work for midlife women—you can't sustain change that conflicts with your identity. My new Breakthrough Sessions focus on closing the gap between how you feel now and how you want to feel by shifting how you see yourself at the identity level.

Substack - substack.com/amcostanzo

Website: amcostanzo.com

Pinterest: acostanzo

Instagram: aging.fiercely

If this hit home for you, I'd love it if you'd leave a quick 5-star rating or just drop a ❤️ in the comments. Or hit that follow button so we can keep spreading the word that midlife isn't a crisis—it's a comeback!

• [00:04] Welcome to 2026 and why this year feels different
• [14:00] Understanding what "protect your peace" really means
• [22:00] The power of slowing down and dropping into the moment
• [37:38] Why identity work is the key to lasting transformation
• [48:00] Marianne Williamson's quote: "Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure"
• [56:00] What it means to have power beyond measure
• [66:00] Starting to see yourself differently and rocking the boat
• [80:00] The two words guiding 2026: calm certainty and self-trust
• [92:00] Ending self-abandonment and what that journey looks like

Making real friends in midlife can be harder than it should be. But here's the thing: genuine connection might be exactly what's missing when life starts to feel like you're just checking boxes.

In this episode, I'm talking with Cheryl Dillon, founder of Funderful Experiences, about how she's creating spaces where midlife women can connect—not surface-level "how are the kids" stuff, but real conversations that fill you up instead of drain you.

Cheryl spent 15 years as a divorce coach, and then hit this turning point where she realized she wanted more joy in her own life. Not because anything was broken, but because she started asking herself: What do I want? What lights me up? And why am I waiting to change?

We dive into why midlife is this pivotal moment when you start questioning everything, how to stop living for everyone else's approval, and why putting yourself out there to find new friendships is so worth the awkwardness. Cheryl also gets real about "kissing frogs" to find your people, why being busy is often just avoidance, and how doing the things that bring you joy isn't selfish—it's essential.

If you're craving more meaningful connections and ready to prioritize what matters to you, this conversation will remind you that it's not too late.

Key Takeaways

1. Mortality awareness is your wake-up call to live more authentically When you start recognizing that time is finite, everything shifts. We explore why this realization pushes you to stop making excuses, carve out your own path, and ask yourself, "If not now, when?" instead of waiting for permission to live fully.

2. Self-love isn't selfish—it's the missing piece to everything else Becoming your own best friend transforms how you show up in every area of life. Cheryl shares why learning to love yourself through therapy, coaching, or small daily practices is the foundation for creating the meaningful friendships and joyful experiences you're missing.

3. Creating connection requires intentional community and shared experiences Cheryl's Funderful Experiences membership brings midlife women together through gatherings designed to spark authentic connection and joy. We talk about how showing up, being vulnerable, and prioritizing these soul-feeding moments isn't a luxury—it's essential for your well-being.

4. Time scarcity is often just avoidance in disguise We tell ourselves we're "too busy" for friendships, but prioritizing connection actually gives you energy back. Those meaningful conversations and fun moments with friends aren't luxuries—they're what feed your soul and make everything else easier.

Connect With Cheryl Dillon

Website: funderfulexperiences

Instagram: @funderful_experiences

Connect With Me

Website: amcostanzo.com

Instagram: aging.fiercely

YouTube: amcostanzo

💬 Let's Continue the Conversation

What was your biggest takeaway from this episode? I'd love to hear from you! Share your thoughts on Instagram!

Don't forget to subscribe, rate, and review the podcast if you found this episode valuable. It helps other women discover the show! ❤️

I'm sharing a completely different approach to goal setting that focuses on embodying the feelings you want to experience before you achieve your goals. I walk you through the Sun Ray Method—a powerful visualization technique I learned from spiritual businesswoman Cathy Heller—that helps you connect with how you'll actually feel once you've achieved your goal. Whether you want to lose weight, start a side hustle, improve your relationships, or (like me) become financially free, this somatic approach to goal setting will help you manifest what you truly want by getting into your body and activating those emotions now. This isn't your typical New Year resolution advice—this is about feeling good in your body first, which naturally pulls your goals toward you.

Key Takeaways

1. The Sun Ray Method for Midlife Goal Setting Draw a circle with your primary goal in the center, then create six rays extending outward. On each ray, write an emotion you'll feel once you achieve that goal—words like "expansive," "peaceful," "free from regret," or "excited." This visual practice helps you connect your goals to genuine feelings rather than external outcomes.

2. Embody Your Goals Before Achieving Them Your brain doesn't distinguish between a vividly imagined emotion and one you're actually experiencing in real time. By intentionally activating the feelings associated with your achieved goal—getting into your body and feeling expansive, calm, or lit up—you're already there. This somatic approach helps manifest goals by pulling them in energetically.

3. The True End Goal Is Always Feeling Good in Your Body Whether your goal is weight loss, financial freedom, or better relationships, the ultimate desire is to feel good in your body. By focusing on how you want to feel first—rather than grinding through workouts you hate or restriction you dread—you create sustainable change that actually lasts beyond January.

🔗 Connect With Me

Website: amcostanzo.com

Instagram: aging.fiercely

Pinterest: acostanzo

💬 Let's Continue the Conversation What was your biggest takeaway from this episode? I'd love to hear from you! Share your thoughts on Instagram and DM me!

Don't forget to subscribe, rate, and review the podcast if you found this episode valuable. It helps other people discover the show! ❤️

Counting macros for weight loss might be the game-changer you've been looking for if you're stuck in midlife. In this episode, I break down exactly how to track macros and why understanding your protein, carbs, and fats can transform your body—especially during perimenopause when that stubborn belly fat in midlife shows up out of nowhere. I share my personal experience losing six pounds, gaining serious strength, and finally having energy again without afternoon naps. If you've been eating "healthy" and working out but still not seeing results, this macro tracking guide for women over 40 will show you what's missing. I walk you through setting up the Cronometer app, calculating your protein intake for midlife women (hint: it's about 1 gram per pound of your goal weight), and understanding why your cheese habit might be sabotaging your progress. Whether you're new to macro counting for beginners or ready to finally lose that stubborn weight, this episode gives you the exact framework to start tracking today—even if you only do it for a month.

Key Takeaways

1. The 1 Gram Protein Rule for Sustainable Weight Loss in Midlife

Your protein target should be approximately 1 gram per pound of your goal body weight—not your current weight. So if your goal is 160 pounds, you need 160 grams of protein daily. This high protein intake for women over 40 is essential for maintaining muscle while losing fat, keeping you full, and fueling your workouts. It's not about willpower—it's about giving your body the right fuel.

2. Track Everything for One Month to Gain Awareness

Macro tracking isn't about perfection—it's about awareness. Spend the first month as "recon," tracking everything you eat to understand where your hidden fats and carbs are coming from. You'll be shocked at what you learn. The goal isn't to hit perfect numbers immediately; it's to collect intel on your actual eating patterns so you can make informed adjustments. Use the free Cronometer app to make counting macros for beginners simple and sustainable.

3. Balance Your Macros: 40% Protein, 30% Carbs, 30% Fat for Fat Loss

For weight loss in perimenopause, aim for roughly 40% of your calories from protein (that 1 gram per pound rule), 30% from healthy fats (about 45-55 grams), and 30% from carbs (120-140 grams). This isn't a restrictive diet—it's strategic fueling. When you balance macros for midlife women, you'll eat more food, feel fuller, snack less, and finally see the strength and body composition changes you've been working toward. Pair this with heavy strength training (non-negotiable!) and watch your body transform.

🔗 Connect With Me

Website: amcostanzo.com

YouTube: acostanzowellness

Instagram: aging.fiercely

💬 Let's Continue the Conversation

Have you tried macro tracking before? What's holding you back from starting? I'd love to hear from you! Share your thoughts on Instagram or Pinterest and tag me.

If this hit home for you, I'd love it if you'd leave a quick 5-star rating or just drop a ❤️ in the comments. Or hit that follow button so we can keep spreading the word that midlife isn't a crisis—it's a comeback! 👊

Time management for midlife women isn't just about squeezing more into your day—it's about aligning your time with what truly matters. In this episode, I sit down with Michelle Niemeyer to explore her revolutionary concept of "bending time" and why the phrase "I'm too busy" is actually a red flag that you've lost touch with your values.

Michelle shares why constantly saying you're busy often means you're overriding what matters to you, and she reveals practical strategies for reclaiming your time through presence and intentionality. We dive deep into work-life balance over 50, discussing how to be fully present instead of splitting your energy between competing demands. Michelle also introduces her powerful SWORD analysis framework for goal-setting and explains why sharing your personal goals at work (and vice versa) can unlock unexpected connections and mentorship opportunities.

If you're feeling overwhelmed or burned out, this conversation offers a refreshing perspective on productivity and presence that goes beyond typical time management advice.

Key Takeaways

1. "I'm Too Busy" Signals Misaligned Priorities When you automatically say "I'm too busy," it's often a shield protecting you from having to articulate your true values. Instead of defaulting to busyness, practice stating what actually matters: "It's my anniversary" or "I have family plans" to reconnect with your priorities and prevent burnout.

2. Presence Multiplies the Value of Your Time The art of bending time isn't about doing more—it's about being fully present for what you choose to do. Split energy (being physically present but mentally elsewhere) diminishes the quality and impact of your time, whether at work or with loved ones.

3. Cross-Pollinate Your Goals Across Life Domains Share your work goals with people in your personal life and your personal goals with colleagues. This strategy expands your "container" of possibilities by uncovering unexpected connections, mentorship opportunities, and resources that can shorten your path to achieving what matters most.

📚 Free Resource

Ready to reconnect with what lights you up? Michelle is offering her Guided Meditation and Journaling Prompts - completely free!

👉 Text CLARITY to 33777 to receive instant access to these powerful tools for remembering what gives you excitement, joy, and keeps you alive.

Connect with Michelle:

Website: michelleniemeyer

Instagram: michelle_niemeyer_wellness

Connect With Me

Website: amcostanzo.com

YouTube: Amcostanzowellness

Instagram: aging.fiercely

💬 Let's Continue the Conversation

What was your biggest takeaway from this episode? Are you ready to stop saying "I'm too busy" and start honoring what truly matters to you? I'd love to hear from you! Share your thoughts on Instagram or Pinterest and tag me.

Don't forget to subscribe, rate, and review the podcast if you found this episode valuable. It helps other women over 50 discover the show! ❤️

If you're dealing with recurrent yeast infections or UTIs that keep coming back, this episode reveals the brain-gut-vagina connection most doctors miss. Dr. Betsy Greenleaf explains why fixing your gut microbiome is the key to stopping recurring vaginal infections for good.

TOPICS COVERED:

Dr. Betsy's Personal Story Her struggle with recurrent yeast infections from her teens and discovering the connection between diet and vaginal health.

The Gut-Vagina Microbiome Connection Why the standard American diet (high sugar, processed foods) throws off your gut microbiome, leading to recurrent yeast infections, bacterial vaginosis (fishy odor), and recurring UTIs.

The Brain-Gut-Vagina Triangle Your gut produces 90% of your happy hormones. When your gut microbiome is off, it triggers inflammation, elevated cortisol, anxiety, depression, AND vaginal infections.

Diet for Vaginal Health Simple 4-category rule: if it didn't swim, grow, walk, or fly - don't eat it. Plus probiotics and fermented foods to restore gut balance.

Testing & Treatments Microbiome testing (stool tests, vaginal swabs), natural treatments (oregano oil, berberine, wormwood), and why traditional medications often miss the root cause.

Menopause & Vaginal Health When estrogen drops, vaginal tissue thins, pH changes, and healthy bacteria lose their food source - leading to more recurrent vaginal infections, UTIs, dryness, itching, and odor.

Hormone Options Local hormones (estrogen, DHEA, testosterone) for vaginal tissue when systemic hormones don't reach effectively.

Sex & Infections Why some women get vaginal infections after sex (semen pH affects vaginal balance) and how boric acid suppositories help.

The 3am Wake-Up Problem Why women wake at 3-4am during menopause (cortisol) and solutions: binaural beats, box breathing, magnesium threonate, melatonin, valerian root. Plus screen time rules and sleep environment tips.

The Real Culprit: Stress Stress affects gut microbiome, vaginal health, hormones, and sleep. Honor yourself, schedule me-time, aim for 80/20 eating, and find something relaxing you enjoy.

GUEST BIO: Dr. Betsy Greenleaf is a triple board-certified physician in Obstetrics & Gynecology, Female Pelvic Medicine & Reconstructive Surgery, and Integrative Medicine. She's the founder of the International Pause Institute and has spent 20+ years specializing in menopause, perimenopause, andropause, pelvic floor health, and women's wellness.

RESOURCES MENTIONED:

The Pelvic Floor Store: pelvicfloorstore.com (Use code AGINGFIERCELY for 10% off your order)

Free Hormone Quiz: PauseInstitute.com

CONNECT WITH DR. BETSY GREENLEAF:

Instagram: drbetsygreenleaf

YouTube: Dr Betsy Greenleaf

CONNECT WITH AM COSTANZO

Instagram: @aging.fiercely

YouTube: @amcostanzowellness

From the freak-out moment of realizing I’d let myself get a little too comfy, to the peaceful allowing in of change, here’s a breakdown of how I’ve come to widdle my middle over the past four months and feel more comfortable in my clothes.

It’s nothing sexy, glamourous, drastic, or fast-acting—it’s a slow, concentrated process that ANYONE can do as long as they allow themselves the grace to take their time, experiment, and do what works best for them!

Let’s talk about the few things I changed, that changed more than a few things!

If you ❤️ this podcast and have a question you’d like to ask or a topic you’d like me to cover, leave a comment, find me on Substack, or email me at amcostanzo@substack.com.