May means many things to many people. In California, USA, it is Cheese Month! Here in the US and some other countries, it brings Mother's Day. For those with histories of trauma and neglect, Mother's Day may be a day of bittersweet or even only bitter memories. My husband an I are not parents and both of our mother's are long passed, so it is a regular Sunday. But admittedly I cannot think of May without remembering the fateful day of May 25, 2020 when George Floyd was murdered by police in Minneapolis, Minnesota. I think of him throughout the year.

Recently I heard an announcement about a designated "Martyr's Day", scheduled for July to commemorate the many lives lost in the long and enduring fight for Civil Rights. I also learned that there was a Martyr's Day declared on January 30 to memorialize the date of Mahatma Gandhi's assassination in 1948.

This year on May 8th we will observe Martyr's Day in our house. All those visible and invisible who made great personal sacrifices of one kind or another in the service of a better world.

Giving and receiving are delicate matters for survivors of neglect trauma. Many, if not most, are much more comfortable on the giving side of the equation - up to a point. Equation is an apt word here, because often, there is some sort of conscious or unconscious calculus of what the gift is “worth,” what it merits or warrants in return, or what it means.

It is especially tricky when it comes to gifts to or from the therapist. There is a wide range of philosophical, theoretical and ethical standpoints on this, and a world of varying experiences.

In this week’s video we dip in to that deep subject.

In this week’s video we make a short foray into one aspect of repair that is elusive and potentially harmful. When I say short, I mean that we could discuss it for many hours, and it spills into a subject that is very powerful and dear to my heart, the delicate task of forgiveness, which I have a whole book in me about!

So this is a passing glance at best, from the standpoint of “confronting of perpetrators and those who have hurt us." It is controversial at best, but again my attempt to learn from experience, and share what I have learned the hard way.

Also a shout out for my dear friend and brilliant colleague Janina Fisher's upcoming live Q&A.

You can register at https://therapywisdom.com/ask-me-anyt... to join live or to ensure you receive the limited-time replay if you aren't able to make it to the live Q&A.