Welcome to a refined yet reckless session of the Altered Judgement podcast. In this episode, we lean into our new identity as Distinguished Degenerates—bringing you high-class commentary on the lowest-brow topics.From the historical accuracy of medieval cannabis to the structural integrity of toilet paper, Joe, Pat, and Alex dive deep into the things that truly matter. We also take a wild call from a bachelorette party and discuss the local legend, Nibs the Squirrel....and many other things that would make our mothers worry.

Distinguished Degenerates Chapters:

Episode Chapters:

0:00:00 Intro & Medical Warning

00:01:06 The "Distinguished" Theme & Swear Jar

00:02:17 Getting Started (Cannabis & Drinks)

00:04:14 Role Models Bit & Pre-Meme Entertainment

00:07:08 Bourbon & Van Lieu's Ember Beer Pairing

00:09:41 Conspiracy Cast Teaser & Triple H Promos

00:11:47 Nibs Next Door & Squirrel Content

00:15:29 The Puppet Challenge

00:18:21 Bachelorette Party Call-In (Live Karaoke)

00:25:05 The Public Restroom Toilet Paper Test

00:27:54 Bidets vs. Roman Poop Sponges

00:30:30 Cell Phone Outage & Reliability

00:33:48 Streaming Services vs. Cable's Comeback

00:37:44 Decline of Customer Service & Tipping Culture

00:41:31 Donut Wars: Yum Yum vs. Dunkin

00:42:51 Wawa vs. Sheetz Turf War

00:44:47 Gas Station Fried Chicken & Rising Costs

00:46:18 What Defines a "90s Kid"?

00:50:03 Closing & The $100 Charity Donation

00:52:31 Kill Lincoln & The Modern Ska Scene

00:55:24 Final Sign-off & Fourth Mic Update

2025 was just the warm-up. 2026 is the real deal.

We spent our first three episodes listening, learning, and leveling up. Now, we’re proud to present Altered Judgement exactly how it was meant to be seen and heard:

• Perfected Audio 🎧

• Refined Visuals 📺

• Pure Energy 🔥

This is the standard. This is the identity. This is Altered Judgement.

Grab your favorite beverage, get comfortable, and enjoy "The Co-Pilot."

Episode Chapters:00:00:00 Intro: New Year, New Look 00:03:13 alteredjudgment.com The Boomer-Friendly Site 00:05:30 The Fourth Mic: Join the Show 00:07:09 Van Lieus Brews: Local Brewery Spotlight 00:10:30 Tasting: Lieus Light 00:12:28 Tasting: Burial Ground (7% ABV IPA) 00:16:16 Tasting: Tiger Tears 00:18:46 The "Man Sprout" & Failed Hairstyles 00:21:07 The No-Beard Photo Challenge 00:22:13 Story: The Half-Shaved Face Pizza Delivery 00:23:55 Beer League Hockey & The Beard Trophy 00:25:30 Rant: The "Too Many Men" Penalty00:33:44 Retail Nightmares: Ice Cream & MacBooks 00:41:20 Concept: The "Retail Purge" Day 00:44:50 The 1930s "Classic" Voice Takes Over 00:51:09 Joe’s High Note: Advice from a "Gummy" 00:53:14 Joe’s Stand-up Journey 00:56:23 The "Just Do It" Philosophy for 2026 01:00:56 Perkasie Ale Trail & Closing Cheers

Part two of our Altered Holiday Special. We jump right into it with our Lets Talk Holiday Edition Segment. We then have an Epic Holiday Movie Showdown where we crown the Ultimate Holiday Movie... In our Opinion. We follow it up with something you won't want to miss and you see a side of Joe you may never have thought you would. We toast to 2025 and give it a proper send off! (With a bang) Then we let you know what to expect from Altered Judgment in 2026. This is our 2025 Magnum Opus. The episode where we truly believe you get a full taste of our identity and the caliber of product we plan to deliver in 2026 and beyond. We hit our stride and hope you agree! Happy Holidays and we hope to see you next year. We have MANY MANY bigs things in store in the Altered Judgement Universe!

Chapters:

00:00 Introduction to Altered Holidays Special Part 2

01:35 The Magic of the Holiday Season

03:19 Experiencing the Holidays as Parents

07:21 Elf on the Shelf and Holiday Traditions

09:12 Hoarding for the Holidays

11:10 Reflections on the Holiday Season

12:07 Holiday Baking Shows and Over-Saturation

15:12 Christmas Lights and Decorations

16:19 The Experience of Cutting Down a Christmas Tree

20:16 Modernizing Holiday Traditions

22:41 Timeless Holiday Movies and Traditions

24:35 Porcelain Trees and Family Heirlooms

26:47 Sentimental Holiday Decor

29:38 Holiday Movie Showdown Begins

30:01 Home Alone vs. Home Alone 2

33:07 Die Hard vs. Jingle All the Way

35:35 The Santa Claus vs. Christmas Vacation

39:31 Charlie Brown Christmas vs. Rudolph

44:20 The Grinch vs. Muppet Christmas Carol

47:09 Frosty the Snowman vs. Bad Santa

49:11 The Great Christmas Movie Debate

54:03 Semi-Final Showdowns

01:00:00 The Ultimate Christmas Movie Champion

01:01:00 A Personal Reflection on the Year

01:07:56 Cheers to New Beginnings

Part one of the Altered Judgment Holiday Special. We handle some housekeeping and announce our contest winners! Joe makes an apology to a special listener. We let you know what's to come on this epic holiday endeavor. Thanksgiving traditions, and an extremely sus injectable butter are talked about. We address the struggles our beloved Philadelphia Eagles are having. Black Friday just isn't the same anymore and Pat has a strange Black Friday encounter. Part 1 wraps up with a festive feast where we try to debunk some holiday foods that may just be getting an unwarranted bad wrap.

Episode Chapters:

00:00:00 Intro: The Altered Holiday Special

00:02:52 T-Shirt Winners & Housekeeping

00:04:13 An Apology & Engine 19 Beer

00:06:45 Roadmap for the Special

00:08:44 The Fourth Mic: Neighbor Joe

00:10:33 Thanksgiving Recap: Deep Fried Turkeys

00:15:00 Top 3 Favorite Thanksgiving Sides

00:22:04 Dessert Debates & Pumpkin Obsession

00:23:04 The Birds Rant: Eagles Talk

00:34:07 Black Friday Nostalgia & Malls

00:35:58 Pat’s Outlet Mall Traffic Saga

00:40:03 Festive Feast: Holiday Tasting Intro

00:41:45 Eggnog Taste Test: Jet Fuel vs. Real

00:45:15 Tasting: Fresh Baked Fruit Cake

00:46:46 Tasting: The 8-Hour Figgy Pudding

00:48:42 Closing Cheers & Outro

Welcome to Altered Judgement! We finally hit the record button, and it immediately goes off the rails.

Episode Chapters:

00:00:00 Intro: Welcome to Altered Judgement

00:01:00 Origin Story: From the Parking Lot to the Mic

00:04:34 Hockey Talk: Flyers vs. Senators Recap

00:05:30 NHL Standings & Early Season Surprises

00:08:12 Shootout Strategy & Bobby Brink

00:09:44 Engine 19: The Dogfish Head Collab

00:10:52 News You Can’t Use: Japanese Butt Breathing

00:15:23 Wawa Parking Lot & Road Rage Survival

00:19:21 Satisfying Road Justice Stories

00:20:40 Comparing Drivers: Jersey, Carolina, & Beyond

00:23:05 The Great Roundabout Debate

00:27:30 Road Rage & Kindness Thumbs Up

00:29:43 The Destination Parking Struggle

00:32:28 Parking Lot Pet Peeves & The Beamer Rule

00:35:00 Gen Alpha Slang: Decoding "67"

00:38:51 Why Time Feels Faster as You Get Older

00:41:21 News You Can’t Use: Diego the Sex Turtle

00:43:32 Wrapping Up: Future Holiday Plans

00:46:25 Closing Thoughts: All Hail the Sex Turtle