About this episode In this episode of Anchored & Armed, hosts Mackenzie and Naomi continue their mini-series on loneliness by exploring the topic from the perspective of a Christian military spouse with guest Kristen Strong. Kristen is an author, speaker, and longtime advocate for military spouses, known for books including Desperate Woman Seeks Friends and Girl Meets Change. Drawing from her own experiences navigating frequent moves, deployments, and seasons of deep isolation, Kristen shares candidly about loneliness, friendship, and faith in military life. She reflects on what it means to seek friendship intentionally, how God uses lonely seasons to shape the heart, and why Christian women in the military community are not meant to walk alone. This conversation offers encouragement and practical wisdom for women longing for connection while learning to rely on God first. Resources for listeners: Kristen's websiteContact the podcast via email: anchored@ocfusa.org Access the Anchored & Armed contact form Questions answered and themes covered in this interview include: How can Christian military spouses experience deep loneliness even when married or surrounded by people? Kristen explains that loneliness often comes not from being physically alone, but from being uprooted from familiar community and support systems. Early in her marriage, frequent moves and her husband's absences left her isolated in places where she "did not know a soul." Even when she knew how to reach out and invite others, she found that many people already had established friendships and little space for new ones. Kristen describes loneliness as especially painful when adult conversation, shared history, and emotional connection are missing. She emphasizes that marriage does not replace the need for friendship, noting that women are "hardwired" for relational connection. These experiences became formative in shaping her understanding of loneliness and friendship in military life. What lies can affect a Christian woman's faith during seasons of loneliness in military life? Kristen reflects honestly on how discouraging thoughts deepened her loneliness, including believing that friendship "just wasn't going to work" in certain places. She describes falling into a victim mentality that excused her from continuing to try, even though effort was required. Looking back, she identifies these thoughts as untrue and says she had to learn that her timeline did not match God's timeline. She explains that loneliness felt permanent in the moment, even when it was not. Through these seasons, Kristen learned to trust that God was still at work and that isolation did not mean she was forgotten. She emphasizes that discouragement can feel true while still being false. How does God use loneliness in the lives of Christian military women and spouses? Kristen shares that while loneliness is painful, it is not always without purpose. She explains that God sometimes uses lonely seasons to remove distractions, draw attention to unmet needs in the heart, or strengthen relationships within the family. She describes learning that she was "never alone in [her] loneliness" and realizing she often turned to friends before turning to God. These seasons helped her build the habit of going to the Lord first. Kristen distinguishes between temporary loneliness, which God can use for growth, and ongoing isolation, which is not how believers are meant to live. She emphasizes that God's presence remains constant even when friendships are absent. How does a Christian woman's relationship with God affect her friendships? Kristen explains that learning to be filled by God first transformed the way she approached friendship. When she did not rely on God, she became overly needy and placed unrealistic expectations on others. She describes holding out her "cup" to friends to be filled, instead of being filled by the Lord. As she learned to draw from God daily, she became a healthier and more generous friend. Kristen shares that this shift allowed her to receive friendship as a gift rather than a necessity. She reflects that relying on God first made her more secure and less overwhelmed by comparison, rejection, or unmet expectations in relationships. What encouragement does Kristen Strong offer Christian military women who feel tempted to give up on friendship? Kristen speaks directly to women who have been hurt by friendships and feel exhausted by starting over after each move. She acknowledges that friendship breakups can be deeply painful, sometimes more so than romantic ones. Her encouragement is not to give up, reminding listeners that "Jesus had friends," and therefore friendship is part of God's design. At the same time, she urges discernment—recognizing when a friendship is one-sided and choosing to pivot toward relationships that are reciprocated. Kristen emphasizes both perseverance and wisdom, encouraging women to ...
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Feb 11 202640 mins