Jack and Ash are in their reckoning era and THANK GOD we get to hear all about it! Ash has been dealing with buxom aunties trying to dodge train fares, while Jack has been relaxing/worrying during a lymphatic drainage massage. There is also the small topic of how completely wild noughties TV was and the savagery of the Wii Fit.

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And just like that, back on British soil! There is MUCH to discuss from Coachella, including tech billionaire after-parties, THAT Justin Bieber performance, and why everyone there was in fancy dress as a jacket potato. There are also signs of a Charli XCX and Gü Ramekin crossover, which is officially our next favourite conspiracy theory.

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While Jack is happy to return to the earth as a dusty mo-ment when he dies, Ashwini has a very different plan to freeze her body that, if successful, will ensure her light and joy will be preserved for future generations.

There's also much to hunker on with rating desserts, poo-play at TK Maxx, and whether anyone actually enjoys Huel?

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