In this episode of Ask The Betrayed, Sharon and Rae explore one of the most misunderstood aspects of betrayal trauma recovery: Emotional exhaustion after infidelity and during betrayal recovery; what the betrayed can do about it and how the unfaithful can support them.

After D-Day, many betrayed partners feel an instinctive pull to withdraw, create boundaries, or even consider therapeutic separation. This is not about punishment of the unfaithful. It's not about giving up. And it's not about "never getting over it."

It's about trauma recovery.

In this episode, we discuss:

• Why the need for space is a natural trauma response
• The nervous system's need for distance after betrayal
• Sharon's "Wiggly Man" metaphor and validation-seeking dynamics
• How unfaithful partners can honor space without resentment
• Creating space vs. impulsive distancing and withdrawal
• Why being able to take space is a sign of healing — not rejection of your partner

If you are the betrayed partner and feel exhausted, overwhelmed, or pulled between your needs and your partner's emotions — this conversation is for you.

If you are the unfaithful partner and feel anxious when your spouse asks for distance — this episode will help you understand why honoring that request is essential for rebuilding trust and helping them heal.

Recovery from betrayal trauma is not linear. The need for space ebbs and flows. And learning to navigate that well can transform your healing process.

If this episode resonated, please like, subscribe, and share — it helps others find support and hope after betrayal.

💬 Please comment below!

🔔 Please Subscribe (and Like) for More
Join Sharon and Rae every two weeks for grounded, empathetic conversations about healing after betrayal, rebuilding your identity, strengthening your voice, and reclaiming your life.

Please share this video with someone who needs encouragement in their healing journey.

📬 If you have questions you'd like us to answer in an episode, or would like to inquire about coaching with Rae or therapy help, including intensives, with Sharon and James, please reach out to us at: AskTheBetrayed@gmail.com

🎧 You can also find us on Apple, Spotify, and everywhere podcasts are found.

🔗 Need help healing? Find James & Sharon at the CORE Relationship Recovery website: www.HopeForUs.com (Email: Info@HopeForUs.com ) or find Rae at www.HealingTalksBack.com (Email: Rae@HealingTalksBack.com )

Our Website: https://www.AskTheBetrayed.com

Follow CORE Relationship Recovery (James & Sharon) on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CORERelationshipRecovery

In this episode of Ask The Betrayed, Sharon and Rae explore why betrayed partners so often internalize blame after infidelity — quietly keeping you stuck in pain, powerlessness, and re-traumatization.

This conversation is about restoring choice, agency, and dignity in the middle of relational trauma.

You'll learn how taking responsibility for what isn't yours can:
• drain your emotional energy
• fuel shame and self-doubt
• blur boundaries
• keep you locked in chaos instead of clarity

Through real stories, clinical insight, and compassionate truth-telling, Sharon and Rae show how this tool helps betrayed partners separate what belongs to the unfaithful from what belongs to them, reclaim personal power, and make grounded, self-protective choices.

In this episode, we cover:
✅ What "Quit Taking It Personally" actually means in betrayal recovery
✅ Why betrayal makes everything feel personal — even when it isn't
✅ Common blame-shifting messages betrayed partners internalize
✅ How taking things personally gives away your power
✅ The connection between Q-TIP, boundaries, and self-care
✅ Why blaming yourself can feel empowering — but isn't
✅ How to pause, reality-check, and choose clarity over chaos
✅ A simple daily practice to interrupt trauma-driven thinking

This episode is especially helpful for:
• betrayed partners in early recovery
• those stuck in self-blame or over-responsibility
• anyone working to rebuild confidence and agency after betrayal
• therapists and coaches supporting betrayal trauma healing

If this episode resonated, please like, subscribe, and share — it helps others find support and hope after betrayal.

💬 Please comment below!

🔔 Please Subscribe (and Like) for More
Join Sharon and Rae every two weeks for grounded, empathetic conversations about healing after betrayal, rebuilding your identity, strengthening your voice, and reclaiming your life.

Please share this video with someone who needs encouragement in their healing journey.

📬 If you have questions you'd like us to answer in an episode, or would like to inquire about coaching with Rae or therapy help, including intensives, with Sharon and James, please reach out to us at: AskTheBetrayed@gmail.com

🎧 You can also find us on Apple, Spotify, and everywhere podcasts are found.

🔗 Need help healing? Find James & Sharon at the CORE Relationship Recovery website: www.HopeForUs.com (Email: Info@HopeForUs.com ) or find Rae at www.HealingTalksBack.com (Email: Rae@HealingTalksBack.com )

Our Website: https://www.AskTheBetrayed.com

Follow CORE Relationship Recovery (James & Sharon) on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CORERelationshipRecovery

Gaslighting after betrayal can make you question your memory, your emotions, and your reality — and that confusion is not weakness. It's a trauma response.

In this episode of Ask The Betrayed, Rae sits down with gaslighting specialist and CORE Relationship Recovery team member Sarah Morales (SarahMoralesCoaching.com) to break down what gaslighting actually is, why it's so damaging after infidelity, and how betrayed partners can reclaim clarity and self-trust.

Sarah shares her framework for identifying gaslighting behaviors without getting trapped in the endless question: "Did they mean to?" You'll learn why gaslighting doesn't always come from narcissism, how shame can drive gaslighting patterns, and the difference between gaslighting vs. a gaslighting attempt — a powerful shift that restores agency and reduces self-doubt.

We also discuss:
✅ The most common question betrayed partners ask: "Was that gaslighting?"
✅ Sarah's core definition that helps you answer that question
✅ Why gaslighting produces deep self-doubt and loss of self-trust
✅ What is Self-gaslighting?
✅ The red flags of internalized manipulation
✅ Unfaithful partners: discerning between intention vs impact — and how gaslighting blocks repair
✅ Practical hope: how healing reduces gaslighting behaviors over time

If you've ever thought, "Maybe I am too much" or "Maybe I'm crazy," - you're not - and this episode is for you.

✨Where to find Sarah and take her courses:
Listen to her podcast: Deconstructing Gaslighting (2 seasons / 50+ episodes)
For Courses, visit: https://www.sarahmoralescoaching.com/ → Deconstructing Gaslighting Academy TM (https://www.sarahmoralescoaching.com/...)

Please note: "Deconstructing Gaslighting" is a Trademark (TM) of Sarah Morales and may not be used without express permission

💬 How have you been gaslighted? Please leave a comment below - we'd love to hear from you

🔔 Please Like and Subscribe for More
Join Sharon and Rae every two weeks for grounded, empathetic conversations about healing after betrayal, rebuilding your identity, strengthening your voice, and reclaiming your life.

Please share this episode with someone rebuilding clarity after betrayal trauma.

📬 If you have questions you'd like us to answer in an episode, or would like to inquire about coaching with Rae or therapy help, including intensives, with Sharon and James, please reach out to us at: AskTheBetrayed@gmail.com

🎧 You can also find us on Apple, Spotify, and everywhere podcasts are found.

🔗 Need help healing? Find James & Sharon at the CORE Relationship Recovery website: www.HopeForUs.com (Email: Info@HopeForUs.com ) or find Rae at www.HealingTalksBack.com (Email: Rae@HealingTalksBack.com )

Our Website: https://www.AskTheBetrayed.com

Follow CORE Relationship Recovery (James & Sharon) on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CORERelationshipRecovery

In this episode, Sharon and Rae unpack a surprisingly common barrier to healing after betrayal trauma — "Cat Poster Thinking" the mindset of believing "I already know how this works" or relying on clichés, platitudes, and intellectual over-control to cope. And while it may feel protective, it can quietly block real growth, connection, and emotional transformation.

This episode also helps the Unfaithful see how they self-limit their own growth in recovery.

Together they explore:
✨ Why betrayed partners crave control after trauma
✨ How trauma filters your perception and limits what you can "see"
✨ Why intellectual insight alone can't heal a shattered heart
✨ What happens when you try to think your way out of pain
✨ How over-talking, over-explaining, and "knowing everything" disconnects you from help
✨ How to shift from head-level knowing → to heart-level healing
✨ Why receiving guidance from a trained professional is essential
✨ What real, embodied healing looks and feels like
✨ How betrayed partners can carry too much of the emotional load without being aware of it
✨ How to let go of the urge to lead, fix, or parent your unfaithful partner
✨ Simple questions & practices to move from superficial coping to deep, meaningful change

This is an episode filled with stories, real-life clinical examples, neurobiological insight, and grounded wisdom. If you're stuck in trauma responses, struggling to trust your therapist, or feeling disconnected from your own healing, this conversation is for you.

💬 Please comment below

🔔 Please Subscribe (and Like) for More
Join Sharon and Rae every two weeks for grounded, empathetic conversations about healing after betrayal, rebuilding your identity, strengthening your voice, and reclaiming your life.

Please share this video with someone who needs encouragement in their healing journey.

📬 If you have questions you'd like us to answer in an episode, or would like to inquire about coaching with Rae or therapy help, including intensives, with Sharon and James, please reach out to us at: AskTheBetrayed@gmail.com

🎧 You can also find us on Apple, Spotify, and everywhere podcasts are found.

🔗 Need help healing? Find James & Sharon at the CORE Relationship Recovery website: www.HopeForUs.com (Email: Info@HopeForUs.com ) or find Rae at www.HealingTalksBack.com (Email: Rae@HealingTalksBack.com)

Our Website: https://www.AskTheBetrayed.com

Follow CORE Relationship Recovery (James & Sharon) on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CORERelationshipRecovery

In this episode of Ask The Betrayed - Shorts, Sharon speaks directly to anyone feeling shattered, lost, or hopeless after infidelity. She explains why betrayed partners often cling to the hope that the old relationship can be restored—and why real hope comes from something deeper: rebuilding your sense of self, your worth, and your inner clarity.

Sharon shares personal insight, including the moment she realized she had to live for herself, align her life with her values, and rebuild a foundation strong enough to stand on—with or without the relationship. She teaches how to shift from living in reaction to living intentionally, how to reclaim the parts of yourself you abandoned, and how to find tiny sparks of hope even in devastation.

This is a message for every betrayed partner who wonders: Will I ever be okay again?
The answer is yes. And it begins with turning inward, grounding in your truth, and taking one small courageous step at a time.

💛 In This Episode You'll Learn:
• Why hope feels impossible after betrayal—and why it matters
• The difference between hoping for the old relationship vs. hoping for your healing
• How changed reality, secret lives, and grief shape the hopelessness you feel
• The moment Sharon realized healing required living for herself
• How to rebuild self-worth after betrayal
• Why focusing inward—not on the unfaithful partner—is essential
• How to shift from defense to offense in your own life
• Small daily choices that awaken hope again

Hope isn't naïve — it's choosing to believe healing is possible even when the path is unclear.

💬 Please comment below

🔔 Please Subscribe (and Like) for More
Join Sharon and Rae every two weeks for grounded, empathetic conversations about healing after betrayal, rebuilding your identity, strengthening your voice, and reclaiming your life.

Please share this video with someone who needs encouragement in their healing journey.

📬 If you have questions you'd like us to answer in an episode, or would like to inquire about coaching with Rae or therapy help, including intensives, with Sharon and James, please reach out to us at: AskTheBetrayed@gmail.com

🎧 You can also find us on Apple, Spotify, and everywhere podcasts are found.

🔗 Need help healing? Find James & Sharon at the CORE Relationship Recovery website: www.HopeForUs.com (Email: Info@HopeForUs.com ) or find Rae at www.HealingTalksBack.com (Email: Rae@HealingTalksBack.com )

Our Website: https://www.AskTheBetrayed.com

Follow CORE Relationship Recovery (James & Sharon) on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CORERelationshipRecovery

In this episode of Ask The Betrayed, Sharon and Rae explore what gratitude really looks like in the wake of infidelity — without toxic positivity, forced silver linings, or emotional self-betrayal:

• Not having to pretend you're okay
• Not minimizing the trauma

Learn why gratitude gets complicated during the holidays where it seems to be expected, how survivors toggle between grief and glimpses of joy, and why holding two truths at the same time is such a powerful recovery skill.
You'll hear stories of those first post-betrayal holidays… the bathroom escape plan… the moment when clarity becomes a gift, even if painful… and how betrayed partners can reclaim meaningful moments instead of pretending they're "fine."

💛 In this episode, we talk about…
• Why forced gratitude is retraumatizing, not healing
• How the brain uses small moments of goodness like traction
• The power of presence, honesty, and strategic choices during holidays (and, really, any other time)
• How to reset at any moment
• Why clarity — even painful clarity — is something to honor
• How to find "meaningful moments of comfort and joy"
• Ways the unfaithful can show appreciation that truly matters

Healing isn't about plastering a smile over heartbreak — it's about making room for hope while telling the truth about the hurt.

💬 Please comment below

🔔 Please Subscribe (and Like) for More
Join Sharon and Rae every two weeks for grounded, empathetic conversations about healing after betrayal, rebuilding your identity, strengthening your voice, and reclaiming your life.

Please share this video with someone who needs encouragement in their healing journey.

📬 If you have questions you'd like us to answer in an episode, or would like to inquire about coaching with Rae or therapy help, including intensives, with Sharon and James, please reach out to us at: AskTheBetrayed@gmail.com

🎧 You can also find us on Apple, Spotify, and everywhere podcasts are found.

🔗 Need help healing? Find James & Sharon at the CORE Relationship Recovery website: www.HopeForUs.com (Email: Info@HopeForUs.com ) or find Rae at www.HealingTalksBack.com (Email: Rae@HealingTalksBack.com)

Our Website: https://www.AskTheBetrayed.com

Follow CORE Relationship Recovery (James & Sharon) on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CORERelationshipRecovery

In this vulnerable and transformative episode of Ask The Betrayed, Sharon and Rae dive into one of the most universal pain points for betrayed partners: being misunderstood. Whether it's feeling dismissed, judged, minimized, or simply unseen, betrayal trauma magnifies how deeply we need to be understood — and how hard it can be to communicate our truth.
Drawing from decades of clinical experience and lived wisdom, Sharon and Rae unpack why so many betrayed partners struggle to express themselves, why partners often misread our emotional signals, and how childhood conditioning, nervous system responses, and relational trauma shape the ways we share (or silence) our truths.
This episode gives you practical tools, compassionate insight, and scripts you can use today to help you be understood — without shrinking, apologizing, or losing yourself.

🎧 In This Episode You'll Learn:
• Why BEING misunderstood is different from FEELING misunderstood
• How childhood messages ("You're too much," "Don't be a burden") teach us to hide our true selves
• How societal norms silence betrayed partners
• Why your nervous system's "big energy" can unintentionally trigger defensiveness
• How partners filter your vulnerability through their own wounds
• Why many betrayed partners stop sharing after receiving dismissive or hurtful responses
• How to make "bids for connection" that actually work
• Tools for self-regulation before hard conversations
• How to prepare for a vulnerable conversation so you can speak clearly and be heard
• Questions to ask yourself to understand why something is hurting so much
• How trauma, history, and old wounds intensify your reactions

💬 Key Takeaways:
• You deserve to be seen, heard, and understood — not judged or minimized.
• Self-regulation is the first step in being understood; clarity starts inside you.
• The power of "I" statements
• Your partner's reaction is not a measure of your worth or clarity.
• Vulnerability requires preparation, boundaries, and compassion for yourself.
• Healthy relationships start with healthy self-connection

💡 You'll Also Hear About:
• How neurodiversity (ADHD/ADD) impacts communication
• How to set the emotional stage so your partner can truly hear you
• How to avoid common traps

💬 Please comment below

🔔 Please Subscribe (and Like) for More
Join Sharon and Rae every two weeks for grounded, empathetic conversations about healing after betrayal, rebuilding your identity, strengthening your voice, and reclaiming your life.

Please share this video with someone who needs encouragement in their healing journey.

📬 If you have questions you'd like us to answer in an episode, or would like to inquire about coaching with Rae or therapy help, including intensives, with Sharon and James, please reach out to us at: AskTheBetrayed@gmail.com

🎧 You can also find us on Apple, Spotify, and everywhere podcasts are found.

🔗 Need help healing? Find James & Sharon at the CORE Relationship Recovery website: www.HopeForUs.com (Email: Info@HopeForUs.com ) or find Rae at www.HealingTalksBack.com (Email: Rae@HealingTalksBack.com)

Our Website: https://www.AskTheBetrayed.com

Follow CORE Relationship Recovery (James & Sharon) on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CORERelationshipRecovery

In this practical episode of Ask The Betrayed, Sharon and Rae tackle some of the most common and destructive myths that keep betrayed partners trapped in confusion, guilt, and fear after infidelity.

From "This pain will last forever" to "If I can keep them from acting out, I'll be safe" they dismantle the cultural and emotional myths that block healing—and replace them with compassionate, reality-based truths.

In This Episode You'll Learn that:

✅ Healing from betrayal requires truth, not perfection.
✅ Repair happens through consistency, not control.
✅ You can love your family and protect your peace.
✅ Hope isn't naïve—it's a survival skill.
✅ How to parent through betrayal trauma recovery
✅ When to seek help
✅ How to recognize the lies that keep you stuck in fear and self-blame.

Whether you're early in your healing or well into your rebuilding journey, this conversation offers hope, insight, and practical strategies for moving forward with clarity and strength.

💬 Please comment below: Which of these myths have come up for you in your recovery?

👍 If this episode resonates, like and subscribe for more support on your healing journey.

🔔 Turn on notifications so you never miss an episode!

Please share this video with someone who needs encouragement in their healing journey.

📬 If you have questions you'd like us to answer in an episode, or would like to inquire about coaching with Rae or therapy help, including intensives, with Sharon and James, please reach out to us at: AskTheBetrayed@gmail.com

🎧 You can also find us on Apple, Spotify, and everywhere podcasts are found.

🔗 Need help healing? Find James & Sharon at the CORE Relationship Recovery website: www.HopeForUs.com (Email: Info@HopeForUs.com ) or find Rae at www.HealingTalksBack.com (Email: Rae@HealingTalksBack.com )

Our Website: https://www.AskTheBetrayed.com

Follow CORE Relationship Recovery (James & Sharon) on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CORERelationshipRecovery