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Ask The Betrayed

Ask The Betrayed

Written by: Sharon & Rae
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The Ask The Betrayed podcast provides tangible hope to those in crisis and a safe place for Betrayed Partners to find healing and insight into the behaviors of the Unfaithful (who can also to learn how to help their Betrayed partners heal). We hope to fulfill a great need for betrayed partners to hear professionals who have personally experienced the deep traumatic pain of betrayal: Ask the Betrayed not only provides expert insight, it is hosted by two Betrayed Partners in long-term recovery from Betrayal Trauma, Sharon and Rae, who both specialize in helping Betrayed Partners, the Unfaithful and Couples recover from betrayal: - Sharon is a Licensed Therapist and Certified Professional Coach who is certified in betrayal trauma and, along with her husband, James Annear (@AskTheUnfaithful) - Rae is a Master Certified Life, Relationship and Divorce coach Ask the Betrayed airs every other week, alternating with it's companion channel, Ask the Unfaithful (@asktheunfaithful) Relationships Self-Help Social Sciences Success
Episodes
  • The Worst Tragedy of Betrayal For Partners Is Losing Who They Are

    The Worst Tragedy of Betrayal For Partners Is Losing Who They Are
    Oct 15 2026

    What if part of you is afraid to heal after betrayal - even though you desperately want the pain to stop?

    Healing from infidelity and betrayal trauma is incredibly difficult. You didn't choose what happened to you. You didn't choose the trauma, the uncertainty, or the life you suddenly found yourself living.

    And yet, at some point, you may face another difficult question:

    What do I do with the pain?

    In this episode of Ask The Betrayed, Sharon and Rae explore something betrayed partners don't always talk about: the fear, resistance, and hesitation that can arise when it's time to begin reclaiming your life.

    Why can focusing on yourself feel so frightening?

    Why is it sometimes easier to keep watching what the unfaithful partner is - or isn't - doing?

    And what happens when trying to control the source of your pain begins costing you your own freedom?

    Sharon and Rae also explore the important difference between feeling better and actually getting better, rebuilding self-trust, finding support, and taking small steps toward a life that is no longer completely organized around the betrayal.

    This is not about excusing ongoing harm, minimizing betrayal, or telling you to "just move on"

    …it's about discovering where you still have agency when so much choice was taken away from you.

    Because, as Sharon and Rae put it:

    "The worst tragedy of all in betrayal is losing yourself altogether."

    💬 Please comment - We'd love to hear what you took away from this podcast.

    If this episode encourages you, please Like, Subscribe, and Share to help others recovering from betrayal trauma find hope and practical tools for healing.

    🔔 Please Subscribe (and Like) for More

    Join Sharon and Rae every two weeks for grounded, empathetic conversations about healing after betrayal, rebuilding your identity, strengthening your voice, and reclaiming your life.

    Please share this video with someone who needs encouragement in their healing journey.

    📬 If you have questions you'd like us to answer in an episode, or would like to inquire about coaching with Rae or therapy help, including intensives, with Sharon and James, please reach out to us at: AskTheBetrayed@gmail.com

    🎧 You can also find us on Apple, Spotify, and everywhere podcasts are found.

    🔗 Need help healing? Find James & Sharon at the CORE Relationship Recovery website: www.HopeForUs.com (Email: Info@HopeForUs.com ) or find Rae at www.HealingTalksBack.com (Email: Rae@HealingTalksBack.com)

    Our Website: https://www.AskTheBetrayed.com

    Follow CORE Relationship Recovery (James & Sharon) Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CORERelationshipRecovery

    Show More Show Less
    29 mins
  • 5 VULNERABILITIES THAT KEEP BETRAYED PARTNERS CAUGHT IN THE EFFECTS OF GASLIGHTING

    5 VULNERABILITIES THAT KEEP BETRAYED PARTNERS CAUGHT IN THE EFFECTS OF GASLIGHTING
    Sep 30 2026
    Has the gaslighting stopped—but you still find yourself questioning your own thoughts, feelings, and reality? After betrayal, recognizing gaslighting is an important step toward healing. But what happens when you begin recovering from the initial trauma, only to discover that some of the most damaging patterns are still operating beneath the surface? Why do you keep second-guessing yourself? Why do you sometimes abandon boundaries you know are important? Why does standing up for yourself feel threatening to the relationship? And why can it be so difficult to trust your own judgment, even when you know you've been deceived? In this episode of Ask The Betrayed, Rae welcomes back Sarah Morales, creator of Deconstructing Gaslighting, for a fascinating conversation about the hidden vulnerabilities that can keep betrayed partners caught in the effects of gaslighting long after the initial discovery of infidelity. Together, they explore five common gaslighting pitfalls that betrayed partners may not even realize they're experiencing. And here's what makes this conversation particularly important: Gaslighting doesn't always look like someone deliberately telling you that your reality is wrong. Sometimes its effects are far more subtle. And because these patterns often develop gradually, recognizing them can be surprisingly difficult. In this episode, Rae and Sarah explore: Why gaslighting can continue to affect you even as your relationship begins to stabilize.The difference between someone's intentions and the actual impact of their behavior.Five hidden vulnerabilities that can leave betrayed partners susceptible to continued gaslighting.Why your desire to preserve a relationship can sometimes come into conflict with your need to trust yourself.How gaslighting can affect your boundaries, personal values, and sense of identity.Why recognizing self-gaslighting may be an important turning point in recovery.How to begin reconnecting with your authentic voice and rebuilding self-trust. Perhaps one of the most important questions in this conversation is: What happens when maintaining a relationship begins to demand that you abandon parts of yourself? For many betrayed partners, this conflict can be difficult to recognize, let alone resolve. But understanding how these patterns develop can open the door to a very different kind of healing. Rae and Sarah discuss practical ways to become more aware of these vulnerabilities, recognize when they're being activated, and begin responding differently. If you're navigating betrayal trauma, infidelity recovery, emotional manipulation, gaslighting, or the difficult process of rebuilding self-trust, this episode offers an important perspective on what healing can look like beyond the initial crisis. Because recovery isn't only about learning to recognize when someone else is gaslighting you. It's also about rediscovering the person you were before you learned to question yourself. For additional background on this topic, check out Ask The Betrayed Episode 17, featuring Rae's earlier conversation with Sarah about the fundamentals of gaslighting. And please visit our sister podcast, Ask The Unfaithful for conversations about accountability, empathy, integrity, and recovery from the perspective of the unfaithful partner. 💬 Please comment - We'd love to hear what you took away from this podcast. If this episode encourages you, please Like, Subscribe, and Share to help others recovering from betrayal trauma find hope and practical tools for healing. 🔔 Please Subscribe (and Like) for More Join Sharon and Rae every two weeks for grounded, empathetic conversations about healing after betrayal, rebuilding your identity, strengthening your voice, and reclaiming your life. Please share this video with someone who needs encouragement in their healing journey. 📬 If you have questions you'd like us to answer in an episode, or would like to inquire about coaching with Rae or therapy help, including intensives, with Sharon and James, please reach out to us at: AskTheBetrayed@gmail.com 🎧 You can also find us on Apple, Spotify, and everywhere podcasts are found. 🔗 Need help healing? Find James & Sharon at the CORE Relationship Recovery website: www.HopeForUs.com (Email: Info@HopeForUs.com ) or find Rae at www.HealingTalksBack.com (Email: Rae@HealingTalksBack.com) Our Website: https://www.AskTheBetrayed.com Follow CORE Relationship Recovery (James & Sharon) Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CORERelationshipRecovery
    Show More Show Less
    45 mins
  • WHO SHOULD YOU TELL ABOUT THE BETRAYAL AND WHO SHOULD YOU NOT TELL?

    WHO SHOULD YOU TELL ABOUT THE BETRAYAL AND WHO SHOULD YOU NOT TELL?
    Sep 17 2026
    Please Comment, Like and Subscribe - we would love to develop our community more and reach more people who need help! Thank you! After betrayal, the instinct to reach out for support can be overwhelming – and is necessary. You may desperately need someone who understands, someone who will listen, or simply someone who can remind you that you are not alone. But deciding who to tell about an affair or betrayal can be complicated: Tell everyone, and you may later wish some people didn't know. Tell no one, and you may find yourself carrying betrayal trauma in painful isolation. In this episode of Ask The Betrayed, Sharon and Rae talk about how to make thoughtful decisions about who to tell, when to tell, what to share, and why you're sharing it after discovering infidelity. Sharon and Rae discuss: • How to decide who is emotionally safe to tell about infidelity • How you can safely share your experience of being betrayed • Why you don't owe everyone an explanation about what is happening in your life and how to set boundaries around that • The difference between someone who is supportive and someone who is simply curious • Why telling everyone—or telling no one—can both have consequences • How to find people who can support you without taking control of your decisions • Why a good support person needs to be able to do and what they should NOT do. • When a betrayal trauma professional may be an important part of your support system • How to approach friends, family members, faith communities, and spiritual leaders carefully • What to do when someone you've trusted can no longer support the choices you're making • What to do if you've already told someone you now wish you hadn't • How an unfaithful partner may feel about other people knowing - and why the betrayed partner still deserves safe support – and how to handle that without surrendering your right to share your pain. One of the strongest themes in this conversation is choice and autonomy. 💬 Please comment - We'd love to hear what you took away from this podcast. If this episode encourages you, please Like, Subscribe, and Share to help others recovering from betrayal trauma find hope and practical tools for healing. 🔔 Please Subscribe (and Like) for More Join Sharon and Rae every two weeks for grounded, empathetic conversations about healing after betrayal, rebuilding your identity, strengthening your voice, and reclaiming your life. Please share this video with someone who needs encouragement in their healing journey. 📬 If you have questions you'd like us to answer in an episode, or would like to inquire about coaching with Rae or therapy help, including intensives, with Sharon and James, please reach out to us at: AskTheBetrayed@gmail.com 🎧 You can also find us on Apple, Spotify, and everywhere podcasts are found. 🔗 Need help healing? Find James & Sharon at the CORE Relationship Recovery website: www.HopeForUs.com (Email: Info@HopeForUs.com ) or find Rae at www.HealingTalksBack.com (Email: Rae@HealingTalksBack.com) Our Website: https://www.AskTheBetrayed.com Follow CORE Relationship Recovery (James & Sharon) Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CORERelationshipRecovery
    Show More Show Less
    21 mins
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