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Beat Motel Zine

Beat Motel Zine

Written by: Andrew Culture
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Welcome to Beat Motel Zine, the comedy-infused alt-music podcast! Born from a zine from the DIY scene, we blend laughs with punk, metal, and everything offbeat. Discover the weirder side of bands, from unintentionally funny stage antics to musical mishaps. Tune in for a profane, comedic journey through alternative tunes, where every episode is a laugh. Join us as we explore music's funniest fringes with a punk rock spirit! Can the alternative music scene and comedy mix? Of course they can; we'll prove it to you. Warning, episodes contain creative profanities in the vein of The Thick of It.Andrew Laws Associates Ltd Music
Episodes
  • Echo and the Bunnymen: Blinding the Audience for Art
    May 11 2026

    In a desperate bid to look like we know what we are talking about, we have overhauled the format. This week, Andrew drags a bewildered Dr. Sam through 1980s Liverpool to discuss why a three time Oscar winner spent his youth hiding in a camouflage suit.

    We are diving deep into:

    • The Scouse Trinity: Exploring the "Crucial Three".

    • Julian Cope's Fear of the Floor: Why he performed on step ladders because he felt the floor was too dangerous.

    • The Mysterious Drum Machine: The story behind the machine they called "Echo".

    • The Big Lie: How they admitted the drum machine story was just a way to mess with journalists.

    • "Caramelised Hair": The era of sugar-styling that attracted swarms of flies and smelled like a burnt bakery.

    • The Cosmic Gateway: The time Bill Drummond decided a manhole cover in Matthew Street was a cosmic gateway to Iceland.

    It is peak 80s chaos, involving more sugar and camouflage netting than a primary school bake sale in a war zone.

    Suggested Listening
    • "The Killing Moon": The one Ian McCulloch insists was written by God, though it is actually the intro to Space Oddity played backwards.

    • "The Cutter": The band at the absolute peak of their 80s powers.

    • "People Are Strange": The Joel Schumacher and Lost Boys payday produced by Ray Manzarek of The Doors.

    • "Over the Wall": A masterpiece from their very dark, silhouette-heavy period.

    • "Brussels is Haunted": The sound of the band in 2026, because they are still at it.

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    1 hr and 31 mins
  • Viking influence on music
    Apr 27 2026

    Viking metal is a sad parody of music. Or at least, that's how Andrew starts this episode before Sam drags him through a hedge of historical facts. In a bold new format where one of us actually prepares and the other just reacts with increasing confusion, Dr. Sam (our resident academic-lite) guides us through the reality of Viking influence on music. We cover why Wagner is responsible for the horn-helmet lie, why Led Zeppelin is basically a Viking recruitment brochure, and why the Harp Twins might be the most terrifying thing we've ever watched. We also learn that real Vikings probably sounded less like growling Swedes and more like barking dogs. If you've ever wanted to know about Viking divorce laws, fossilized worms, or why the Finns freaked everyone out, this is the rambling mess you've been waiting for.

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    1 hr and 5 mins
  • Foreign music
    Apr 13 2026
    Show Notes

    Right, here we go. In this episode, Andrew and Dr. Sam tackle 'Foreign Music'—which is basically just a fancy way of saying 'songs where we don't understand the words'. We kick things off with an enormous tube of lube and some fizzy water that's apparently trying to destroy Andrew's teeth.

    The lads dive into the archives to discuss why the British are so terrified of music that isn't in English, the mystery of Joe Strummer's 'garbled nonsense' Spanish on 'Should I Stay or Should I Go', and the revelation that Plastic Bertrand was basically a French Milli Vanilli on a trampoline. Dr. Sam tries to bring some 'academic' weight to the proceedings by reading high-brow philosophy about repetition, while Andrew just wants to talk about Nena's bass player and why subscription underpants are a recipe for disaster. Expect tangents on Star Trek moral codes, stealing cars you can't drive, and the universal truth that everyone eventually gets 'yogurt chucked up' at them.

    Riffs of the Week
    • Dr Sam's Riff: Elvin Jones - 'The Prime Element'
    • Andrew's Riff: Rebekah - 'Synthetic Collapse'
    Dr Sam's Track Choices
    • The Clash - 'Should I Stay or Should I Go'
    • Magma - 'Hortz fur dehn stekehn west'
    • Pixvae - 'La Fuga'
    • Mc Solaar - 'Qui seme le vent recolte le tempo'
    Andrew's Track Choices
    • Plastic Bertrand - 'Ca plane pour moi'
    • Blur - 'To the End (La Comedie)'
    • Serge Gainsbourg - 'Bonnie and Clyde'
    • Nena - '99 Luftballons'

    Email us: beatmotel@lawsie.com

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    1 hr and 3 mins
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