In this episode, Andrew and Dr Sam tackle the high-brow topic of Autumn, which mostly involves Sam moaning about how grey Finland is and Andrew recounting the time he kicked a pile of dog muck while trying to be whimsical.

We also dive deep into the world of Roy Orbison, specifically his secret life as a competitive remote-control car enthusiast and how he basically wore the same pair of filthy glasses for 25 years. Andrew finally sees the Rocky Horror Picture Show and is traumatised by middle-aged men in stockings, Sam tries to find a version of 'Autumn Leaves' that doesn't taste like high-fructose corn syrup, and we discuss why the Beatles were basically ancient by the time they hit 30. There's also some talk about Jeff Lynne (obviously), stealing cheese from Blur, and why you should never go to an all-you-can-eat buffet if you value your self-respect.

### Riffs of the week

#### Dr Sam's Riff
- Roy Orbison - (All I Can Do Is) Dream You
#### Andrew's Riff
- Rocky Horror Picture Show - Sweet Transvestite

### Dr Sam's track choices
1. Nat King Cole - Autumn Leaves
2. Cannonball Adderley - Autumn Leaves
3. Roger Williams - Autumn Leaves
4. Edith Piaf - Les Feuilles Mortes

### Andrew's track choices
1. Guns n Roses - November Rain
2. Autumn Almanac - The Kinks
3. Crowded House - Fall at your feet
4. Forever Autumn - Justin Hayward and Jeff Wayne

Email us - beatmotel@lawsie.com

In this episode of Beat Motel, Andrew and Dr. Sam attempt to discuss "Great Songs with Questionable Lyrics" but mostly end up talking about accidental calls to the emergency services and the thermal advantages of having an itchy jumper for a face.

We dive into the grottier side of grindcore with Edinburgh's CHOU, wonder why Wolf Alice has a drummer singing in a thicket, and Dr. Sam tries to justify why he once owned a Limp Bizkit record. Also featuring: Slade being sued for sounding like a brickyard, Jimmy Page "borrowing" songs again, and why you should never store your Lego boxes in a greenhouse. It's less of a music podcast and more of a documented descent into madness.

Dr Sam's Riff

• CHOU - Vulnerable Blether

Andrew's Riff

• Wolf Alice - White Horses

1. Slade - Let's Call It Quits

2. Limp Bizkit - Counterfeit

3. Public Enemy - Sophisticated Bitch

4. Cannibal Corpse - I Cum Blood

1. Led Zeppelin - Babe I'm gonna leave you

2. Steve Miller Band - The Joker

3. Sonic Youth - Kool Thing

4. Suede - Stay Together

Email us - beatmotel@lawsie.com

In what can only be described as a new low for the Beat Motel, Andrew and Dr. Sam dive headfirst into a theme so thin you can practically see through it: Water. What starts with Jackie Chan karate-chopping peanut packets somehow devolves into a harrowing discussion about men who refuse to wipe their backsides because it's "too gay," and the pungent aroma of a father's "beefy" morning ritual.

Musically, we're forced to endure everything from Janet Jackson's "Moist" (a song that makes everyone's knees feel funny for the wrong reasons) to a Deep Purple video featuring a pilgrim on a Mad Max vehicle. We also touch on why Jimmy Carr is the Nigel Farage of comedy, the baffling rise of J-Pop sensation Ado, and why Weezer's Rivers Cuomo looks like he's constantly checking his watch for an exit strategy. It's damp, it's irreverent, and it's probably best listened to while weeping into a Victoria sponge.

### Riffs of the week

#### Dr Sam's Riff
- Ado - Kura Kura
#### Andrew's Riff
- Zatokrev, Bolzer, Schammasch - Red Storm

### Dr Sam's track choices
1. TLC - Waterfalls
2. Aerosmith - Cryin'
3. Janet Jackson - Moist
4. Joan Armatrading - Water with Wine

### Andrew's track choices
1. The Stone Roses - Waterfall
2. Nirvana - Territorial Pissings
3. Deep Purple - Smoke on the water
4. Weezer - Africa

Email us - beatmotel@lawsie.com

Here's that Deep Purple video:
https://youtu.be/Q2FzZSBD5LE?si=7lmp39n-ZpcOQPnn

We've got Drew Ailes (aka David Lunch, aka Egg Norton) from Minneapolis punk outfit Citric Dummies. We spend a suspicious amount of time talking about the horrors of SEO and marketing because, apparently, being a punk doesn't pay for the artisanal bread anymore. Drew explains how his background in "mucking about with systems" on the internet led to a career in corporate consulting, and why having a drummer who is actually a musical genius is the only reason the band hasn't folded in on itself.

Expect tangents on the "blokey-bloke" culture of Oasis, the mystery of what on earth Arby's is, and why John Peel is the patron saint of record nerds. We also touch on the lighthearted topic of the political chaos in Minneapolis and ICE agents eating at the very Mexican restaurants they're supposed to be patrolling. You know, the usual cheery stuff.

We're back, and frankly, if you've stuck around this long, you only have yourself to blame. After our first-ever break, Andrew and Dr. Sam return to discuss why cats don't actually like dope beats, despite what Aaliyah told us in 2000, and why fireworks and techno are a bad mix for pets.

In this episode, we dive into the legendary Eric B. & Rakim, Japanese garage rock icons Thee Michelle Gun Elephant, and the "emotional grindcore" of Swarrrm. There's also a deeply unnecessary deep dive into The Queers' lyrical nuances from 1999 and a story about a band that split up because the singer decided to use the drummer as a urinal. We also explore why boredom is actually quite fast, the joy of "institutional Finnish pasta", and why Beat Motel is effectively just a sticking plaster on the gaping wound of your personal issues.

Dr Sam's Riff

• Thee Michelle Gun Elephant - "The Birdmen"

Andrew's Riff

• Blood Incantation - "The Stargate [Tablet 3]"

1. 88 Fingers Louie - "Newspaper"
2. Swarrrm - "13"
3. The Queers - "No Tit"
4. HIRS - "Public Service Announcement"

1. System of a Down - "Chic 'N' Stu"
2. Buzzcocks - "Boredom"
3. Sub Focus and Grimes - "Entwined"
4. The Bluetones - "Fast Boy"

Email us - beatmotel@lawsie.com

Gabba dancing: https://youtu.be/FUD-HExh9ow?si=Kaq8OykylcVEUosL

If you've ever wondered why some bassists look like they're having a conversation with a ghost or why your favorite punk record sounds like it was recorded in a cupboard, Mike Watt is here to explain it all. We sat down with the Minutemen and Stooges legend to talk about everything from the physics of why playing too many notes makes you "smaller" to the absolute bigotry drummers face in the industry.

Watt walks us through his "third opera," why he wrote an entire album on a Telecaster instead of a bass just to spite himself, and how he ended up playing with the Stooges for 125 months. We also get into the weeds on the early Hollywood punk scene, the "autonomy" of major labels (or lack thereof), and why the internet is basically just a tool for collaborating with people in Peru. It's rambling, it's philosophical, and it's probably the most intellectual we've ever been on this show. Don't get used to it.

Welcome to a truly unhinged episode, where Andrew's cold-ridden brain meets Sam's particular brand of chaos. This week, we're diving into Musicians in Odd Places—which, let's be honest, is mostly an excuse for us to get wildly off-topic and fact-check things on the fly (and usually get them wrong). Andrew even managed to misspell the theme title on his notes.

We kick off by debating the horrors of modern parenting and screen time, reminiscing about the simple joy of having the TV just... turn off. From there, it's a short, unsettling skip to a discussion about Conkers, which, inevitably, turns into a mention of "Bollock Conkers". You're welcome.

The main theme gets a slightly more musical start with Sam's Riff of the Week—a deep, pumping slice of dub that Andrew associates with summer. This somehow leads Andrew to mix up Jeff Lynne and Jeff Wayne (an ongoing national embarrassment).

### Riffs of the week

#### Dr Sam's Riff
- Jacob Miller - Keep on Knocking
#### Andrew's Riff
- Buggery Act - Rusted Pliers

### Dr Sam's track choices
1. Mike Patton - Teenage Mutant Nina Turtles Theme
2. Johnny Cash - Don't Take Your Ones to Town
3. D.O.A. - That's Why I Am An Atheist
4. Tiny Tim - Living in the Sunlight, Lovin' in the Moonlight

### Andrew's track choices
1. The Wombles - Remember You're A Womble
2. War of the worlds - The Spirit of Man
3. Labi Siffre - I Got The...
4. Public Image Ltd - Rise

On the Menu of Oddness:

* Mike Patton's Paycheck: Faith No More's Mike Patton pops up where he has no business being: singing the theme for a video game version of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. He said he did it so his nieces could enjoy something he was involved in.
* Wombles Rock: Andrew's choice of session musicians in unusual places is Chris Spedding lending his guitar skills to The Wombles.
* Johnny Cash vs. His Ones: Sam digs up the horrifyingly earnest Sesame Street parody of "Don't Take Your Guns to Town," where Johnny Cash sings about the little cowboy Billy Joe trying to take his number ones (as in toys and cookies) to school instead of sharing.
* The Jeff Wayne Fiasco: Andrew confesses a lifelong belief that Jeff Wayne's War of the Worlds was an ELO side project, before Sam sets the record straight that the producer/composer is actually a TV theme tune guy. Also, a surprisingly passionate and improvised vocal performance from Phil Lynott is on the album.
* Joey Shithead for Council: The legendary frontman of hardcore band DOA is now a local politician, serving as a city council councillor in Burnaby, British Columbia.
* Chas and Dave: Funk Brothers: The unlikely Cockney duo were session musicians (the 'fuckbrothers', apparently) for Labi Siffre's fantastic tune "I Got The...".
* The Tiny Tim / SpongeBob Connection: The ukulele-wielding oddball is apparently part of a kid's playlist because his song "Tiptoe Through the Tulips" was on an early SpongeBob episode. This leads to the discovery of his truly offensive Christmas single, "Santa Claus Has Got The AIDS This Year".
* PIL's All-Star Band: A surprising lineup for Public Image Ltd's "Rise" featured Tony Williams (Miles Davis's drummer) and Steve Vai (guitar) on the album version.

A lot of questionable facts and even more questionable chat. Get stuck in, you awful people.

Congratulations, we've actually made it to episode 150—time to lower the bar even further.

Andrew and Dr Sam reluctantly delve into the world of sport, finding the few tracks they can tolerate that actually cover the theme. Before they get there, they waste a solid half hour arguing about:

* The proper spelling of Lemmy from Motorhead's surname.
* A bizarre 1994 scuffle involving Neil Diamond and Lemmy in a Billeriki Toys R Us.
* The viability of starting a new podcast called "Liberal Filth".
* A tangent on Viking history, property rights, and why Vikings had itchy bums.
* Defining "Aerosmith Money"—the huge financial windfall from unexpected licensing (like Guitar Hero), which is apparently a "well-known phrase".

The Music Choices (Finally):

Riffs of the week:
Dr Sam's Riff: Reagan Youth - Jesus Was a Communist
Andrew's Riff: Smote - The opinion of the lamb Pt.1

Dr Sam's Track Choices:
1. Richard Dawson - Jogging
2. Hanson Brothers - Stick Boy
3. Dead Kennedys - Jock-O-Rama (Invasion of the Beef Patrol)
4. Fleshies - Runner's Legs

Andrew's Track Choices:
1. Kraftwerk - Tour de France
2. Chemical Brothers - Theme for Velodrome
3. Fu Manchu - King of the road
4. Pansy Division - He Whipped My Ass In Tennis (Then I Fucked His Ass In Bed)

If you've made it this far, you deserve a chocolate bar. We're heading off to the loo. Enjoy the filth.

Email us with your hate mail, facts, or spelling corrections: beatmotel@lawsie.com