In this episode of Becoming Lucy, British Army veteran Richy Thrower shares the truth about mental health after military service, and what life really looks like once the structure, routine, and identity of the army disappear.

Richy opens up about his time serving in Afghanistan, the grief of losing friends in service, and the emotional toll of transitioning to civilian life. He speaks honestly about isolation, identity loss, and why so many veterans struggle silently after leaving the forces.

After leaving the army, Richy faced rejection, instability, and periods of deep despair — including being kicked out by his father, spiralling into alcohol, and repeatedly hitting dead ends when reaching out to charities for help. His experience exposes the gaps in support systems for veterans at their lowest point.

Through resilience, relationships, and community, Richy slowly rebuilt his life. He found stability through security work, reconnected with his passion for motocross, and unexpectedly discovered filmmaking as a powerful tool for storytelling and advocacy. What began as filming motorsport events became a mission: to give veterans a voice, raise awareness, and push for real change.

Richy also speaks candidly about the darker side of advocacy — including threats faced while speaking out — and why veterans must be believed, supported, and protected long after their service ends.

This is a raw, honest conversation about veterans’ mental health, resilience, recovery, and community — and a reminder that survival doesn’t end when service does.

If you’re a veteran, know a veteran, or care about mental health and social change, this is an episode you need to hear.

You can find Richy and his work on @richythrower on Instagram and Tik Tok and You Tube.

Takeaways

• Thousands of veterans struggle with mental health after service.
• The hardest battles for veterans often occur at home.
• Richie Frower turned his struggles into purpose as a filmmaker.
• Routine and structure in the army provide a sense of stability.
• Mental health support for veterans is often lacking.
• Experiences in Afghanistan shape perspectives on gratitude.
• The loss of friends in service can lead to deep emotional struggles.
• Transitioning from military to civilian life can be challenging.
• Richie's journey reflects the importance of resilience and support.
• Advocacy for veterans is crucial in addressing their needs. Richy faced significant challenges after being kicked out by his father.
• He struggled to find help from various charities during a low point.
• Richy's journey involved spiraling into alcohol and despair before seeking help.
• He found stability through a job in security and rekindled his passion for motocross.
• Richy's foray into filmmaking began as a way to promote motorsport events.
• He quit a high-paying job to pursue his passion for video production.
• Richy emphasizes the importance of relationships in his recovery journey.
• He aims to create a film that highlights the struggles of veterans and offers solutions.
• Richy faced threats while advocating for veterans' rights and raising awareness.
• He encourages veterans to reach out for help and find the right support systems.

⚠️ Podcast Disclaimer

• Informational Only: This content is for general information and entertainment. It is not professional advice (legal, medical, financial, or otherwise).

• No Guarantees: We do not guarantee the accuracy, completeness, or outcomes from using the information shared.

• Personal Views: Opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests and do not reflect the official positions of any affiliated organisations.

• No Liability: We are not liable for any actions taken based on this podcast.

• External Links: We are not responsible for content found on any external sites mentioned.

In this episode of Becoming Lucy, hosts Hana and Lucy sit down with Jess, a resilient and independent woman whose life story defies convention. From navigating early trauma and family challenges to building a career in stripping and modeling, Jess opens up about grief, resilience, and the power of chosen family.

Jess also shares the heartbreaking story of her best friend Maxine, who tragically died from cervical cancer at just 33, leaving behind two children. Through this, Jess reflects on loss, grief, and the importance of speaking up about health and self-care.

The conversation explores Jess’s experiences in the stripping industry, breaking down the realities behind the stigma, safety challenges in nightlife, and the emotional toll of her work. She discusses personal growth, career progression, financial independence, and navigating relationships and love after loss. Health challenges, including endometriosis, and mental health are also addressed, highlighting the resilience needed to navigate life’s complexities.

Through Jess’s story, this episode emphasizes empowerment, the strength of chosen family, and embracing a life beyond societal expectations. Listeners will gain insight into the realities of the stripping industry, coping with loss, and the journey toward confidence, stability, and happiness.

Key Takeaways:

• Jess’s life story is a testament to resilience and independence.

• Family dynamics shaped her sense of responsibility and identity.

• School experiences and societal stigma influenced her confidence.

• The stripping industry is often misunderstood, carrying both risks and opportunities.

• Community and chosen family are vital for navigating life’s challenges.

• Jess’s loss of Maxine underscores the fragility of life and the importance of advocacy and care.

• Navigating love, grief, and health challenges requires strength and self-awareness.

• Personal growth and empowerment come from embracing one’s unique path.

Chapters:

00:00 Introduction to a Life Unboxed

03:16 The Impact of Family Dynamics

10:51 Resilience Through Adversity

17:22 The Journey into Stripping

19:43 Breaking Stigmas: The Journey of a Stripper

21:24 The Evolution of Stripping: From Clubs to Digital Platforms

23:50 The Emotional Toll of Stripping: More Than Just Dancing

25:05 Community and Competition: The Dynamics Among Dancers

26:35 Perceptions vs. Reality: The Truth Behind Stripping

28:37 Navigating Challenges: The Impact of Online Platforms

30:25 Surviving the Industry: Personal Stories and Lessons Learned

35:07 Finding Positivity: Turning Adversity into Adventure

38:28 The Dark Side of Nightlife: Experiences of Spiking

40:41 Career Reflections: The Struggles and Breaks in Stripping

42:05 Friendship and Loss: Remembering Maxine

44:45 Coping with Grief: The Impact of Maxine’s Illness

47:58 Finding Love After Loss: Jess and Mike’s Journey

53:35 A New Chapter: Blending Families and New Beginnings

58:22 Embracing Confidence with Age

59:01 Balancing Work and Family Life

01:00:37 The Importance of Outdoor Activities for Kids

01:01:20 Navigating Health Challenges: Endometriosis

01:05:50 Understanding the Stripping Industry

01:12:00 Reflections on Personal Growth and Future Aspirations

⚠️ Podcast Disclaimer

• Informational Only: This content is for general information and entertainment. It is not professional advice (legal, medical, financial, or otherwise).

• No Guarantees: We do not guarantee the accuracy, completeness, or outcomes from using the information shared.

• Personal Views: Opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests and do not reflect the official positions of any affiliated organisations.

• No Liability: We are not liable for any actions taken based on this podcast.

• External Links: We are not responsible for content found on any external sites mentioned.

Ectopic pregnancy is a serious and potentially life-threatening condition — yet it remains widely misunderstood, under-discussed, and often misdiagnosed.

In this episode of Becoming Lucy, Hana and Lucy are joined by guest Danielle, who bravely shares her experience of navigating two ectopic pregnancies, the emotional toll of pregnancy loss, and the long road toward healing.

Danielle opens up about trying to conceive, experiencing early pregnancy symptoms that didn’t fit the “textbook” narrative, and the confusion and fear that followed. She reflects on her experiences within the healthcare system — from A&E visits to receiving devastating diagnoses — highlighting how a lack of empathy and understanding can deepen trauma during moments of loss.

This episode explores the emotional complexity of miscarriage and ectopic pregnancy, including grief, shock, relief, guilt, and the pressure many women feel to “move on” too quickly. The conversation also addresses the importance of mental health support, open communication with partners, compassionate employers, and the role of community in recovery.

Through Danielle’s story, this episode aims to raise awareness, validate lived experiences, and encourage more informed, empathetic conversations around women’s health and pregnancy loss.

🎧 Episode Chapters / Timestamps

00:00 – Understanding Ectopic Pregnancy

06:49 – Danielle’s Journey Begins

11:52 – The A&E Experience

17:39 – The Emotional Rollercoaster

24:23 – Navigating Grief and Loss

30:34 – A New Pregnancy and Old Fears

34:10 – The Emotional Complexity of Early Pregnancy

37:22 – Miscarriage and Ectopic Pregnancy

41:49 – How Healthcare Impacts Pregnancy Loss

50:01 – Mental Health After Loss & Seeking Support

01:00:26 – Finding Closure and Moving Forward

01:08:50 – Lessons Learned: Awareness, Empathy & Support

Key Takeaways

• One in 90 pregnancies in the UK is ectopic
• Ectopic pregnancy is often misdiagnosed or misunderstood
• Pregnancy loss can bring conflicting emotions, including grief and relief
• Medical empathy (or lack of it) can shape long-term trauma
• Mental health support after loss is essential
• Community and shared stories can be powerful tools for healing
• Awareness and education improve outcomes and support systems

⚠️ Podcast Disclaimer

• Informational Only: This content is for general information and entertainment. It is not professional advice (legal, medical, financial, or otherwise).

• No Guarantees: We do not guarantee the accuracy, completeness, or outcomes from using the information shared.

• Personal Views: Opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests and do not reflect the official positions of any affiliated organisations.

• No Liability: We are not liable for any actions taken based on this podcast.

• External Links: We are not responsible for content found on any external sites mentioned.