🎯 "I couldn't sleep. I couldn't eat. It was all because of what I was doing—what we were doing—to my kids."

If that sounds familiar, this conversation is for you.

Jill Barnett Kaufman is a licensed therapist, divorce coach, certified mediator, and co-parenting expert who's been helping parents since the 90s. But she's also been exactly where you are—terrified that divorce would ruin her children's lives.

Now, years later, with thriving adult children (including a middle child who recently told her she finally understands what a healthy relationship looks like), Jill shares what actually protects kids during high-conflict divorce—and why your fear that they'll be ruined is probably wrong.

What You'll Learn:

✅ Signs your child is struggling vs. normal adjustment to divorce
✅ Why anxiety and depression in kids look different than you'd expect
✅ What regression actually means (it's not just bedwetting)
✅ Why your ex will treat your child differently than they treated you
✅ How to respond when your ex badmouths you to the kids
✅ The power children have that spouses don't (and why this matters)
✅ Parallel parenting vs. co-parenting: When to accept reality
✅ Communication strategies when every notification triggers your PTSD
✅ Why using ChatGPT for emails usually backfires (and what to do instead)
✅ The one truth that changed Jill's perspective: Staying in an unhealthy marriage teaches kids THAT is what relationships look like

About Jill Barnett Kaufman: Jill is a licensed therapist, divorce coach, and certified mediator who's specialized in parenting and co-parenting since the 1990s. She runs a large Facebook community for people going through separation and divorce and offers group coaching, one-on-one support, an online course, and a book. Most importantly, she's lived it—she went through her own high-conflict divorce when her son was 12, experiencing the same terror about her children's futures that she now helps other parents navigate.

⏱️ TIMESTAMPS:

00:00 - Introduction: Will my kids be okay?
01:44 - Signs your child is struggling with divorce stress
03:10 - What regression looks like (beyond bedwetting)
04:47 - Anxiety and depression in children: What to watch for
06:16 - When temporary symptoms become concerning
08:39 - Why your ex will treat your child differently than you
09:52 - The power kids have that you didn't as a spouse
11:15 - How to respond when your ex badmouths you
13:40 - Teaching kids to set boundaries (without coaching them)
15:20 - The importance of listening more than talking
17:36 - Why parents shouldn't script kids' responses
19:00 - Parallel parenting vs. co-parenting reality
19:58 - Communication when every notification triggers PTSD
20:45 - Common communication mistakes (even with ChatGPT)
22:35 - The truth about staying "for the kids"
24:25 - Why kids feel responsible when you're struggling
25:27 - How to find Jill and her community

CONNECT WITH JILL BARNETT KAUFMAN:
🌐 Website: https://DivorceCoachJill.com
📧 Email: info@DivorceCoachJill.com
👥 Facebook: Separation and Divorce Support Community
📚 Book, Online Course, and Group Coaching available

BEEN THERE GOT OUT RESOURCES:

📚 Strategic Communication Course: https://programs.beentheregotout.com/strategic-communication
💬 Instagram: @been_there_got_out
🌐 Blog: https://beentheregotout.com/blog

#KidsAndDivorce #HighConflictDivorce #ParallelParenting #DivorceCoach #HealthyParent #CoParenting #AnxiousKids #DivorceAdvice #ParentingAfterDivorce

🎯 If divorce paperwork makes you want to crawl under your desk and never come out, you're not alone—and you're not broken.

Jorie Houlihan, a certified life coach specializing in ADHD (and diagnosed herself at age 49), explains why so many people in high-conflict divorce situations struggle with the organizational demands—and what actually helps.

Even if you don't have an ADHD diagnosis, the strategies Jorie shares work for anyone dealing with overwhelm, decision fatigue, and the paralyzing stress of legal deadlines!

What You'll Learn:

✅ Why ADHD diagnoses are surging (especially for women) and what it actually looks like
✅ The subtle signs of ADHD that get dismissed as "character flaws"
✅ Why divorce paperwork triggers paralysis and decision fatigue
✅ How to break overwhelming tasks into manageable chunks (the "3 questions at a time" method)
✅ Body doubling: The weird productivity hack that actually works
✅ Why analog tools (paper lists, physical timers) outperform digital for many people
✅ Time blindness and how to work with it (not against it)
✅ Celebrating small wins when you don't have a natural sense of accomplishment
✅ Why "I did my best" isn't always enough—and what to do instead

About Jorie Houlihan:

Jorie is a certified life coach who specializes in working with women diagnosed later in life with ADHD. After being diagnosed herself at age 49—30 years after first trying to talk to a doctor about it—Jorie now helps clients understand how their brains work, put guardrails around struggles, and recognize their strengths. She calls herself "your guide for the dopamine deprived" and hosts the podcast "ADHD and... with Jorie Houlihan."

⏱️ TIMESTAMPS:

00:00 - Introduction: ADHD and the shame cycle
02:25 - Why ADHD diagnoses are increasing (it's not what you think)
04:49 - The three presentations of ADHD and subtle signs
07:19 - ADHD in divorce: Paralysis with paperwork and deadlines
10:38 - The "3 questions at a time" method for overwhelming tasks
13:25 - Externalizing thoughts: Why writing everything down matters
16:42 - Decision fatigue and simplifying choices
19:50 - Breaking tasks into tiny steps (and why that's not "cheating")
23:15 - The dopamine crisis and shame cycle
26:40 - Body doubling: The productivity hack that sounds weird but works
29:30 - Analog vs. digital: Why paper lists and physical clocks help
33:12 - Celebrating wins when accomplishment doesn't come naturally
35:31 - ADHD strengths: Creativity, pattern recognition, empathy
37:57 - How to find Jorie Houlihan

CONNECT WITH JORIE HOULIHAN:

🌐 Website: https://joriehoulihan.com
📱 Instagram: @joriehoulihan
💼 LinkedIn: Jorie Houlihan
🎙️ Podcast: "ADHD and... with Jorie Houlihan" (available everywhere)

BEEN THERE GOT OUT RESOURCES:

📚 Strategic Communication Course: https://programs.beentheregotout.com/strategic-communication
💬 Instagram: @been_there_got_out
🌐 Blog: https://beentheregotout.com/blog

🎯 If your child is drowning in anxiety from family stress and you're tired of adding more therapy appointments, this conversation will open new possibilities.

Brian Barry, Program Manager at Clay Art Center in Port Chester, NY, explains why anxious kids don't need fancy tools or expensive art supplies—they just need curiosity, enthusiasm, and a chance to get their hands messy.

Lisa visits the Clay Art Center to explore how creative activities help children process stress without the pressure to talk about their feelings—perfect for kids dealing with divorce, custody transitions, or family conflict.

What You'll Learn:

✅ Why anxious kids benefit from creative outlets (not more talk therapy)
✅ How clay's messy nature forces kids off their phones and into the present
✅ The misconception that art requires talent or expensive supplies
✅ Why "working with your hands" helps process emotions kids can't verbalize
✅ How failure in ceramics teaches resilience (things explode, break, or don't turn out—and that's okay)
✅ The importance of NOT forcing kids to talk about feelings during creative activities
✅ How digging wild clay teaches science, math, and perseverance
✅ Why parents should work alongside their kids (without pressuring performance)
✅ Alternatives if you don't have a local art center (air-dried clay, local schools, community programs)

About Brian Barry:

Brian Barry is the Program Manager at Clay Art Center in Port Chester, NY, where he coordinates community arts programs for children and adults. Before joining Clay Art Center, Brian worked at an educational nonprofit providing free tutoring for students in grades 2-12. Despite having zero ceramics experience when he started, Brian has learned firsthand how accessible and transformative working with clay can be—no prior experience or fancy tools required.

⏱️ TIMESTAMPS:

00:00 - Introduction: Art activities for anxious children
00:27 - Brian introduces himself and Clay Art Center
02:06 - Misconceptions about art and who it's "for"
04:07 - You don't need experience, skills, or expensive supplies
04:58 - Digging wild clay: Kids learn from start to finish
06:09 - The science behind clay (testing, absorption rates, shrinkage)
07:38 - Math, science, and art working together
09:15 - How clay helps anxious kids process emotions
10:30 - Technology addiction and why clay forces presence
11:53 - Learning resilience through failure (things explode and break)
13:16 - Student transformation stories: Confidence and growth
14:52 - Getting kids out of virtual worlds and into creative spaces
16:46 - The importance of joy (not performance or pressure)
18:03 - Why forcing kids to talk about feelings can backfire
19:00 - Alternatives if you don't have a local art center

CLAY ART CENTER:

📍 Port Chester, NY
🌐 Website: [Clay Art Center website]
📱 Instagram: [Clay Art Center Instagram]

BEEN THERE GOT OUT RESOURCES:

📚 Strategic Communication Course: https://programs.beentheregotout.com/strategic-communication
💬 Instagram: @been_there_got_out
🌐 Blog: https://beentheregotout.com/blog