Do you and your spouse love each other… but feel more like roommates lately? If physical intimacy has slowed down (or disappeared), this episode is for you. Because most of the time, intimacy doesn’t die first… connection does.

In this conversation, marriage coaches Kurt and Denette Schaer talk about how emotional closeness creates the safety, warmth, and pursuit that makes intimacy possible again...even after stressful seasons, resentment, exhaustion, or the “scorekeeping” trap.

In this episode, we cover:

✅ Why the “honeymoon phase fading” doesn’t mean you’re broken

✅ How stress, resentment, and exhaustion bury desire (not erase it)

✅ The danger of scorekeeping: “When you do for me, I’ll do for you”

✅ Why emotional connection can feel scary (especially for many men) and why it’s still not an excuse

✅ Two simple tools you can start today:

The 15-Minute Connection Window (phones down, TVs off)The Non-Sexual Touch Reset (affection without expectation)

Big takeaway: Affection without expectation rebuilds safety — and emotional safety is the foundation for physical intimacy.

Drop a comment: What’s one small rhythm you could start today to rebuild emotional closeness by tomorrow

💛 Want more information about personal marriage coaching? Connect with Kurt and Denette at: https://www.brokenforbetter.com/coaching

📍All the links - stay in touch:https://linktr.ee/brokenforbetter?fbclid=IwAR2f3cwNmMsA8IXgK37HAcmQllKJMOlo0MKUmGixKFLOwMmOoKkdMkbPvVo

Does your home feel too loud emotionally, mentally, or relationally? In this episode, marriage coaches Kurt and Denette Schaer talk about the hidden “crazy cycle” many couples live in: two ships passing in the night, running a household but not building a marriage… and calling it “just a season.”

You’ll learn how to stop the slow erosion that drains intimacy over time and replace reactive rhythms with intentional rhythms that bring peace back into your marriage.

In this episode, we cover:

✅ How to know when you’re mentally/emotionally exhausted (not just “vacation tired”)

✅ The crazy cycle and why chaos becomes “normal”

✅ The question that changes everything: Is life dictating the pace of your marriage… or is your marriage dictating the pace of life?

✅ The difference between reacting and responding (and how to choose calm

✅ 3 practical rhythms that restore connection:

Daily bookend conversations (morning or night check-ins)

Asking better questions to access your spouse’s heart

Sabbath/rest together (and how to rest when you’re wired differently)

Big takeaway: Peace isn’t the absence of problems. It’s the presence of intentional rhythms to navigate them.

Drop a comment: What’s one rhythm you’ve created that brought more peace to your home?

💛 Want more information about personal marriage coaching? Connect with Kurt and Denette at: https://www.brokenforbetter.com/coaching

📍All the links - stay in touch:https://linktr.ee/brokenforbetter?fbclid=IwAR2f3cwNmMsA8IXgK37HAcmQllKJMOlo0MKUmGixKFLOwMmOoKkdMkbPvVo

If you’re tired of the same arguments, the same tone, the same shutdown… you’re not alone.In this episode of Broken for Better, Kurt & Denette Schaer share the simple communication reset that helps couples stop reacting fast, create emotional safety, and build new rhythms that turn chaos into calm.You’ll learn:✅ Why conflict keeps repeating✅ The “I’m overwhelmed” phrase that changes everything✅ How to create safe space (even when you disagree)✅ Why scheduled repair time protects your marriage💬 Comment: When you feel overwhelmed, do you shut down, blow up, or go sarcastic?💛 Want more information about personal marriage coaching? Connect with Kurt and Denette at: https://www.brokenforbetter.com/coachingTimestamps: 00:00 - Recognizing the chaos cycle in marriage02:00 - Symptoms of a chaotic vs. peaceful home04:00 - Breaking the crazy cycle06:00 - The importance of intentional planning to prevent erosion08:00 - How reactive rhythms perpetuate chaos10:00 - The role of response vs. reaction in conflict resolution12:00 - Practical daily check-ins to strengthen connection15:00 - Creating emotional safety through volume and tone17:00 - Rest as a vital rhythm for marriage health20:00 - Protecting your marriage calendar and boundaries22:00 - Expressing expectations to prevent resentment25:00 - Tools for safe communication: hold the heart, pause phrases27:00 - The importance of safety over volume in effective communication📍All the links - stay in touch:https://linktr.ee/brokenforbetter?fbclid=IwAR2f3cwNmMsA8IXgK37HAcmQllKJMOlo0MKUmGixKFLOwMmOoKkdMkbPvVo

In this conversation, Kurt and Denette discuss the importance of not carrying past wounds into new seasons of life, particularly in relationships. They explore how unresolved issues can linger and affect emotional intimacy, emphasizing the need for open communication and intentional healing. The discussion highlights practical tools for addressing pain points, the significance of scheduled repair time, and the understanding that conflict can lead to growth in relationships.Takeaways:New years don't fix old wounds; new rhythms do.Unresolved issues often stem from buried emotions.Communication is essential for healing in relationships.Sarcasm can be a harmful way to deflect pain.Scheduled repair time is crucial for addressing issues.Intentionality in relationships leads to better outcomes.It's important to express what hurt and what is needed.Conflict can be a pathway to deeper connection.Healing requires planning and effort.We can love deeply and still need to work on our relationship.Want more information about personal marriage coaching? Connect with Kurt and Denette at: https://www.brokenforbetter.com/coaching00:00Navigating Past Wounds05:11Understanding Unresolved Issues11:15The Importance of Communication16:45Intentional Healing in Relationships22:26Embracing Conflict for GrowthAll the links - stay in touch:https://linktr.ee/brokenforbetter?fbclid=IwAR2f3cwNmMsA8IXgK37HAcmQllKJMOlo0MKUmGixKFLOwMmOoKkdMkbPvVo

Can a marriage really change… or do couples just learn to cope?In this episode, marriage coaches Kurt and Denette unpack what real change looks like over time and why it’s usually not one big moment, but small, consistent choices made with humility and intentionality.

You’ll hear practical tools you can start using right away especially if you feel stuck in the same arguments, discouraged by slow progress, or unsure where to begin. We also talk about why celebrating “small wins” matters more than you think, and how a growth mindset can rebuild hope in your relationship.

Drop a comment: What’s one small change you’re willing to try this week?

Want more information about personal marriage coaching? Connect with Kurt and Denette at: https://www.brokenforbetter.com/coaching

Want to give financially?https://deka.gives/broken-for-betterAll the links - stay in touch:https://linktr.ee/brokenforbetter?fbclid=IwAR2f3cwNmMsA8IXgK37HAcmQllKJMOlo0MKUmGixKFLOwMmOoKkdMkbPvVo

In this episode, Kurt and Denette Schaer discusses the power of marriage coaching, sharing personal experiences and insights into how coaching can help couples navigate various stages of their relationship. From addressing fears and misconceptions about coaching to exploring the benefits of having a supportive guide, Kurt and Denette chat about the importance of investing in relationships before reaching a crisis point. The conversation also touches on the challenges of vulnerability, the role of coaches in empowering couples, and the journey towards achieving a thriving partnership.

Takeaways:

Coaching can help individuals and couples navigate their relationships more effectively.

Fear of the unknown often prevents people from seeking coaching or counseling.

Many people feel they should know how to manage relationships without help, which is unrealistic.

Asking for help in relationships is often seen as a sign of weakness, but it's actually a strength.

Coaching provides tools and strategies to improve communication and emotional intimacy.

It's important to find a coach who resonates with you and your situation.Investing in relationships early can prevent crises later on.

The coaching process involves understanding individual struggles and providing actionable tools.

Vulnerability in coaching can lead to significant breakthroughs in relationships.

Everyone, regardless of their relationship status, can benefit from coaching.

Chapters:

00:00 Reconnecting and Reflecting on the Journey

01:29 Understanding Coaching: The Need and the Fear

11:16 Who Needs Coaching? Everyone!

18:45 The Coaching Process: What to Expect

27:42 Investing in Relationships: The Long-Term Benefits

All the links - stay in touch

Want to give financially?

Join Kurt and Denette as they share their deeply personal journey through infidelity, broken trust, emotional healing and what it looked like to get there. Discover how they navigated one the darkest chapters of their marriage before child loss, to find hope and redemption. This candid conversation offers insights and tools for couples facing similar challenges.

All the links - stay in touch:

https://linktr.ee/brokenforbetter?fbclid=IwAR2f3cwNmMsA8IXgK37HAcmQllKJMOlo0MKUmGixKFLOwMmOoKkdMkbPvVo

Want to give financially?

https://deka.gives/broken-for-better

Timestamps:

Infidelity and Broken Trust: 00:44

Discussing Hard Subjects: 02:39

Hope and Clarity: 04:15

Emotional Healing and Connection: 20:18

Shame and Guilt: 22:56

Unspoken Tensions: 28:24

On the Other Side: 36:47

Building Trust: 54:10

#MarriageHealing #TrustRebuilding #HopeInMarriage

What really lights him up in marriage—and what shuts him down completely? In this eye-opening episode of the Broken for Better Podcast, we’re diving into the emotional, physical, and psychological turn-ons and turn-offs that women experience within marriage. From communication and presence to hygiene and affection, we’re getting real about what creates connection—and what kills it. Whether you're newlyweds or seasoned spouses, this conversation will help you better understand the subtle (and not-so-subtle) ways intimacy is built—or broken. Tune in for honest insights, relatable stories, and a few surprises along the way.