• The College Question Most Families Forget to Ask With Shellee Howard
    Jun 15 2026
    Stop Asking “Where Do You Wanna Go?” | Starting the College Conversation the Right Way (with Shelly Howard)Host Valerie Alston welcomes college funding and admissions consultant Shelly Howard, founder of College Ready, to discuss why families should not start the college process by picking a school. Howard explains her approach begins with helping students gain clarity about who they are, what excites them, and their priorities - academic, social, athletic, and financial - before building a balanced list of reach, target, and safe schools and setting realistic expectations about rejection. She emphasizes starting early, normalizing “fail forward,” and using community service and campus visits to help students test interests and build motivation. The episode offers practical family conversation prompts, including asking what excites the student about their future, whether they see themselves going to college, and listening beyond job labels to the deeper goals behind them.00:00 Start With Who You Are00:53 Meet College Consultant Shelly01:28 Her Origin Story02:45 Clarity Before College Lists04:15 Athletes Priorities And Fit06:17 Undecided And Fear Of Failure06:52 Serve To Discover Yourself10:34 Start Early And Adaptable Careers12:20 Organic Chem Reality Check14:08 Family Alignment First17:11 Conversation Prompts For Parents18:09 Front Seat Future Vision20:52 Do You Even Want College21:25 Botanist Story Listen Deeper24:20 Campus Visits Spark Ownership26:32 Wrap Up And Next Episode You can reach Shelley on social media here:Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/shelleehoward/Facebook:Shellee Maree Howard 5.3K followerswww.facebook.com/shellee.howard1College Ready Page 4.8k followerswww.facebook.com/CollegeReadyPlanInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/collegereadyplan/Youtube: @collegereadyplanhttps://www.youtube.com/channel/UCr_WodPHDfSWEbiPdsRDbyQTikTok: collegereadyplanhttps://www.tiktok.com/@collegereadyplan?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pcGoogle: College ReadyTwitter: https://x.com/GoCollegeReadyThanks for joining me on Confident, Calm, and Clutch Car Ride Conversations! If you found this episode helpful, please subscribe to the podcast so you never miss a moment. Share it with other parents or coaches who could use a little extra inspiration on the go.For exclusive tips, tools, and updates join my newsletter at www.confidentcalmclutch.com/newsletterFor more specific tips on building mental toughness, buy my book Confident, Calm and Clutch: How to build confidence and mental toughness for young athletes using sports psychologyIf you are a coach looking for ways to build mental toughness into your practices then check out my coaching resources (books, assessments, conversation starters, community and more) here.Parents join my Facebook group to Help Your Athlete Gain Mental Toughness for ParentsHave an idea for a topic? Submit your idea here.Questions? Comments? Ideas? Email me: valerie.alston@valstoncoaching.comFollow Me on:Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/valstoncoachingInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/valstoncoachingYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@valstoncoaching9666Watch every episode of Car Ride Conversations here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLOjguEFjF88w5Wl-eA9dlkwLk7f_sI12V
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    27 mins
  • What Young Athletes Can Learn From the Playoffs: Thriving Under Pressure
    Jun 8 2026

    3 Things Young Athletes Can Learn From Playoff Games (Confidence, Resilience & Pressure)

    Valerie Alston of Car Ride Conversations for Sports Families explains how young athletes can learn from watching playoff sports beyond entertainment by studying confidence, resilience, and performance under pressure. She highlights that pressure doesn’t eliminate mistakes, elite athletes are mistake-resistant and focus on resetting quickly after errors, then explains that pressure reveals preparation, so routines, breathing, body language, and trained habits show up most in big moments. She also emphasizes that championships are won by teams, not superstars, and encourages noticing role players, communication, trust, and small contributions that lead to wins. The episode closes with family discussion prompts about athlete responses to mistakes, composure under pressure, role-player impact, and which personal habits or routines are most trustworthy if a championship game were tomorrow.

    00:00 Playoff Season Lessons

    01:49 Mistakes Under Pressure

    03:51 Preparation Shows Up

    06:21 Teams Beat Superstars

    08:13 After Things Go Wrong

    09:32 Support The Podcast

    10:02 Conversation Rules

    10:27 Discussion Questions

    13:08 Final Takeaways

    Discussion questions:

    1. When you watch playoff games, what do you notice athletes doing after they make a mistake?
    2. Which athlete or team seems the calmest under pressure? What are they doing that helps them stay composed?
    3. What role players or teammates have you noticed making important contributions even if they aren't getting all the attention?
    4. If a championship game was tomorrow, what habit or routine would you trust most about your preparation?

    Thanks for joining me on Confident, Calm, and Clutch Car Ride Conversations! If you found this episode helpful, please subscribe to the podcast so you never miss a moment. Share it with other parents or coaches who could use a little extra inspiration on the go.

    For exclusive tips, tools, and updates join my newsletter at www.confidentcalmclutch.com/newsletter

    For more specific tips on building mental toughness, buy my book Confident, Calm and Clutch: How to build confidence and mental toughness for young athletes using sports psychology

    If you are a coach looking for ways to build mental toughness into your practices then check out my coaching resources (books, assessments, conversation starters, community and more) here.

    Parents join my Facebook group to Help Your Athlete Gain Mental Toughness for Parents

    Have an idea for a topic? Submit your idea here.

    Questions? Comments? Ideas? Email me: valerie.alston@valstoncoaching.com

    Follow Me on:

    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/valstoncoaching

    Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/valstoncoaching

    YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@valstoncoaching9666

    Watch every episode of Car Ride Conversations here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLOjguEFjF88w5Wl-eA9dlkwLk7f_sI12V

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    15 mins
  • How to Stay Motivated All Summer: A Guide for Young Athletes
    Jun 1 2026
    How to Stay Motivated to Train in the Summer (Even When You Don’t Feel Like It)Valerie Alston discusses why summer can be a challenging time for young athletes to stay consistent with training when daily school and team structure disappears and distractions increase. Using self-determination theory, she explains motivation as a continuum, starting with intrinsic enjoyment and moving through four additional sources: rewards/punishments, shame/guilt/pride, valuing the outcomes of training, and identity-based motivation (“I am the kind of athlete who prepares”). She notes the limits of relying on external rewards or guilt, highlights discipline and routine when motivation is low, and emphasizes balancing training with rest, recovery, and being a kid to prevent burnout. The episode closes with family conversation questions about current motivators, upcoming goals and how summer training supports them, desired athlete identity, and creating a realistic summer plan.00:00 Summer Motivation Problem00:37 Host And Show Intro01:08 Freedom And Training Rhythm03:37 Motivation Spectrum Explained05:08 Rewards And Punishments09:02 Shame Guilt And Pride11:16 Value The Outcome13:00 Identity Based Motivation15:51 Balance Rest And Recovery18:04 Summer Plan And Start Small19:56 Family Conversation Questions23:21 Final Takeaways And OutroEpisodes on Habit Formation:Episode 50: Build better habits - Make it Obvioushttps://youtu.be/ZOIc0xkLmiohttps://3cscarrideconversations.captivate.fm/episode/50/Episode 51: Build Better Habits For Young Athletes: Law 2 - Make it Attractivehttps://youtu.be/o4RJQjrTXjYhttps://3cscarrideconversations.captivate.fm/episode/51/Episode 52: Build Better Habits for Youth Athlete- Make It Easyhttps://youtu.be/jq9VS9ozVmYhttps://3cscarrideconversations.captivate.fm/episode/52/Episode 53: Help Youth Athletes Build Better Habits - Make It Satisfyinghttps://youtu.be/eqACu5UdD60https://3cscarrideconversations.captivate.fm/episode/53/Discussion questions: When you train during the summer, what usually motivates you most right now? Rewards, avoiding guilt, reaching a goal, becoming the athlete you want to beWhat are your biggest goals for this upcoming season, and how does summer training help you reach them?"What kind of athlete do you want to be known as by your teammates and coaches?How can we make sure you work hard this summer while still having time for fun, family, and recovery?Thanks for joining me on Confident, Calm, and Clutch Car Ride Conversations! If you found this episode helpful, please subscribe to the podcast so you never miss a moment. Share it with other parents or coaches who could use a little extra inspiration on the go.For exclusive tips, tools, and updates join my newsletter at www.confidentcalmclutch.com/newsletterFor more specific tips on building mental toughness, buy my book Confident, Calm and Clutch: How to build confidence and mental toughness for young athletes using sports psychologyIf you are a coach looking for ways to build mental toughness into your practices then check out my coaching resources (books, assessments, conversation starters, community and more) here.Parents join my Facebook group to Help Your Athlete Gain Mental Toughness for ParentsHave an idea for a topic? Submit your idea here.Questions? Comments? Ideas? Email me: valerie.alston@valstoncoaching.comFollow Me on:Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/valstoncoachingInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/valstoncoachingYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@valstoncoaching9666Watch every episode of Car Ride Conversations here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLOjguEFjF88w5Wl-eA9dlkwLk7f_sI12V
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    25 mins
  • Memorial Day Lessons: Courage, Resilience, and Gratitude from America's Heroes
    May 25 2026

    Memorial Day Lessons for Young Athletes: Resilience, Purpose & Gratitude

    In this Memorial Day episode of Car Ride Conversations for Sports Families, host Valerie Alston reflects on honoring fallen service members and shares lessons she’s learned from 18 years working alongside Army soldiers that apply to young athletes. She explains that resilience isn’t the absence of struggle but the ability to expect challenges, prepare for them, and keep moving forward, and she emphasizes connecting to a purpose bigger than yourself as a key driver of endurance in tough times. Valerie highlights gratitude as a perspective shift—appreciating opportunities, relationships, and sacrifices that make sports possible—and encourages athletes to honor others’ sacrifices through effort, character, and respect. The episode closes with Memorial Day reflection prompts and conversation questions for families about courage, appreciation, growth through challenges, purpose, and ways to honor a fallen service member.

    00:00 Memorial Day Meaning

    00:43 Welcome And Mission

    01:15 Why This Day Matters

    02:09 Resilience Through Struggle

    06:14 Purpose Bigger Than Self

    08:46 Gratitude Changes Perspective

    12:36 Honor Others Sacrifices

    15:28 Conversation Questions

    18:11 Closing Reflection And Thanks

    Discussion questions:

    • When you hear the word courage, what does it mean to you? Can you think of a time you showed courage in sports or life?
    • Who is someone that has made it possible for you to play your sport, and how could you show appreciation for them?
    • What is one challenge you've faced that ended up helping you grow stronger?
    • What does being part of something bigger than yourself look like on your team?
    • How can you honor a fallen service member today?

    Thanks for joining me on Confident, Calm, and Clutch Car Ride Conversations! If you found this episode helpful, please subscribe to the podcast so you never miss a moment. Share it with other parents or coaches who could use a little extra inspiration on the go.

    For exclusive tips, tools, and updates join my newsletter at www.confidentcalmclutch.com/newsletter

    For more specific tips on building mental toughness, buy my book Confident, Calm and Clutch: How to build confidence and mental toughness for young athletes using sports psychology

    If you are a coach looking for ways to build mental toughness into your practices then check out my coaching resources (books, assessments, conversation starters, community and more) here.

    Parents join my Facebook group to Help Your Athlete Gain Mental Toughness for Parents

    Have an idea for a topic? Submit your idea here.

    Questions? Comments? Ideas? Email me: valerie.alston@valstoncoaching.com

    Follow Me on:

    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/valstoncoaching

    Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/valstoncoaching

    YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@valstoncoaching9666

    Watch every episode of Car Ride Conversations here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLOjguEFjF88w5Wl-eA9dlkwLk7f_sI12V

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    20 mins
  • Building Confidence in Uncertain Situations: Helping Young Athletes Trust Themselves When Things Feel New
    May 18 2026

    How to Build Confidence When You Don’t Have the Experience Yet

    Valerie Alston shares lessons from speaking to a new audience at a dental association conference and connects that uncertainty to what young athletes face in sports: new teams, tougher competition, unfamiliar roles, and pressure moments. She explains how to build confidence without direct experience by pulling from similar past experiences, identifying when you’ve handled discomfort before, and taking a strengths-based approach that focuses on transferable skills and character traits. She emphasizes a growth mindset, trusting yourself to learn and adjust as situations unfold and recommends staying curious to reduce pressure and keep uncertainty from turning into panic. The episode ends with car-ride discussion prompts for parents and athletes about past scary situations, existing strengths, current uncertainties, and how confidence can grow during the experience.

    00:00 New Audience Nerves

    01:18 Confidence Without Experience

    03:19 Borrow Past Similarities

    06:28 Lead With Strengths

    07:48 Growth Mindset Trust

    08:52 Curiosity Over Fear

    10:11 Support The Show

    10:35 Family Discussion Questions

    12:56 Wrap Up And Resources

    Discussion questions:

    1. What’s a situation in sports or school that felt scary at first, but you eventually figured out?
    2. When you face something new, what strengths do you already have that could help you?
    3. What’s something in your life right now that feels uncertain — and what’s one way you could approach it with curiosity instead of fear?
    4. How can we remind ourselves that confidence doesn’t always come before the experience — sometimes it grows through it?”

    Thanks for joining me on Confident, Calm, and Clutch Car Ride Conversations! If you found this episode helpful, please subscribe to the podcast so you never miss a moment. Share it with other parents or coaches who could use a little extra inspiration on the go.

    For exclusive tips, tools, and updates join my newsletter at www.confidentcalmclutch.com/newsletter

    For more specific tips on building mental toughness, buy my book Confident, Calm and Clutch: How to build confidence and mental toughness for young athletes using sports psychology

    If you are a coach looking for ways to build mental toughness into your practices then check out my coaching resources (books, assessments, conversation starters, community and more) here.

    Parents join my Facebook group to Help Your Athlete Gain Mental Toughness for Parents

    Have an idea for a topic? Submit your idea here.

    Questions? Comments? Ideas? Email me: valerie.alston@valstoncoaching.com

    Follow Me on:

    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/valstoncoaching

    Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/valstoncoaching

    YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@valstoncoaching9666

    Watch every episode of Car Ride Conversations here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLOjguEFjF88w5Wl-eA9dlkwLk7f_sI12V

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    14 mins
  • Building Focus in a Distracted World: How Young Athletes Can Stay Locked In
    May 11 2026

    How Young Athletes Can Train Focus in a Distracted World (Mindfulness, Cue Words & Clear Targets)

    Host Valerie Alston explains why focus is harder than ever in today’s attention economy, where notifications and constant novelty train brains to shift attention for quick dopamine rewards, making sustained concentration feel like work. She describes how this shows up in youth sports as difficulty locking in during long practices, zoning out in drills, rushing reps, losing focus after mistakes, and quitting sooner when results aren’t immediate. Alston emphasizes that focus is a trainable skill and shares three practical tools: mindfulness practice (starting with 1–2 minutes of breath-focused attention and building toward about 12 minutes a day, 5 days a week for 8 weeks), in-the-moment cue words to redirect attention, and setting clear, specific process targets. She ends with family discussion questions and ideas to reduce distractions.

    00:00 Distraction Era Athletes

    01:01 Attention Economy Explained

    03:29 How Distraction Hits Sports

    06:27 Focus Is Trainable

    07:06 Mindfulness For Focus

    08:50 Breathing Practice Basics

    11:58 Cue Words To Refocus

    14:35 Set Clear Targets

    16:21 Family Conversation Questions

    19:15 Wrap Up And Next Steps

    Toughness Trainer - for Mindfulness https://toughnesstrainer.passion.io/

    Amishi Jha - Peak Mind https://amzn.to/4wnf6mv

    Discussion questions:

    1. When do you feel most distracted during your sport practice, games, or somewhere else?
    2. What’s one thing you could focus on more consistently in your next game?
    3. Which focus tool do you think would help you most breathing, cue words, or setting a clear goal?
    4. What’s one distraction we could reduce during practice or before games to help you focus better?

    Thanks for joining me on Confident, Calm, and Clutch Car Ride Conversations! If you found this episode helpful, please subscribe to the podcast so you never miss a moment. Share it with other parents or coaches who could use a little extra inspiration on the go.

    For exclusive tips, tools, and updates join my newsletter at www.confidentcalmclutch.com/newsletter

    For more specific tips on building mental toughness, buy my book Confident, Calm and Clutch: How to build confidence and mental toughness for young athletes using sports psychology

    If you are a coach looking for ways to build mental toughness into your practices then check out my coaching resources (books, assessments, conversation starters, community and more) here.

    Parents join my Facebook group to Help Your Athlete Gain Mental Toughness for Parents

    Have an idea for a topic? Submit your idea here.

    Questions? Comments? Ideas? Email me: valerie.alston@valstoncoaching.com

    Follow Me on:

    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/valstoncoaching

    Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/valstoncoaching

    Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@valstoncoaching9666

    Watch every episode of Car Ride Conversations here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLOjguEFjF88w5Wl-eA9dlkwLk7f_sI12V

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    20 mins
  • 5 Youth Sports Lessons from This Week: Steph Curry, the Kentucky Derby, Leadership & Mental Toughness
    May 4 2026

    5 Quick Sports Lessons for Confident, Calm, Clutch Kids

    Host Valerie Alston shares a “grab bag” episode with five micro-lessons from sports to help young athletes build confidence, calm, and clutch performance: the Kentucky Derby comeback as a reminder not to panic when behind and that late bloomers exist; stats that 95% of Fortune 500 leaders and 94% of women in C-suite roles played competitive sports, reframing youth sports as life-skill development beyond scholarships or pros; Steph Curry’s diaphragmatic breath training with sandbags to improve conditioning and nervous-system regulation; a college baseball rain-delay dance-off highlighting how to stay loose and manage uncontrollable downtime; and the importance of teaching kids emotion vocabulary so labeling feelings reduces their power. The episode ends with family discussion questions about comparison, life skills from sport, breathing under pressure, and hard-to-talk-about emotions.

    00:00 Grab Bag Kickoff

    01:34 Derby Comeback Mindset

    03:36 Late Bloomers and Grit

    05:07 Sports Build Leaders

    07:12 Curry Breath Training

    10:01 Rain Delay Fun

    12:28 Name It to Tame It

    15:22 Listener Support and Setup

    15:57 Car Ride Questions

    20:31 Wrap Up and Next Steps

    Discussion questions:

    • Where do you feel like you’re still in the middle of your race and shouldn’t compare yourself to others yet?
    • What life skill do you think sports is teaching you right now besides just how to play?
    • When you get nervous before games, what happens to your breathing and could practicing it help?
    • What emotion do you think you feel most often in sports that’s hard to talk about?

    Thanks for joining me on Confident, Calm, and Clutch Car Ride Conversations! If you found this episode helpful, please subscribe to the podcast so you never miss a moment. Share it with other parents or coaches who could use a little extra inspiration on the go.

    For exclusive tips, tools, and updates join my newsletter at www.confidentcalmclutch.com/newsletter

    For more specific tips on building mental toughness, buy my book Confident, Calm and Clutch: How to build confidence and mental toughness for young athletes using sports psychology

    If you are a coach looking for ways to build mental toughness into your practices then check out my coaching resources (books, assessments, conversation starters, community and more) here.

    Parents join my Facebook group to Help Your Athlete Gain Mental Toughness for Parents

    Have an idea for a topic? Submit your idea here.

    Questions? Comments? Ideas? Email me: valerie.alston@valstoncoaching.com

    Follow Me on:

    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/valstoncoaching

    Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/valstoncoaching

    YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@valstoncoaching9666

    Watch every episode of Car Ride Conversations here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLOjguEFjF88w5Wl-eA9dlkwLk7f_sI12V

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    22 mins
  • What to Do When Your Coach Is Hard on You: Helping Young Athletes Handle Tough Feedback
    Apr 27 2026

    How Young Athletes Can Handle Tough Coaches & Hard Feedback (Without Shutting Down)

    In this episode Valerie discusses how young athletes and parents can handle tough coaching and hard feedback. Many U.S. youth coaches are volunteers with limited formal training, yet most have good intentions and even great coaches give challenging correction. Athletes are encouraged to notice and manage their initial emotional reactions (embarrassment, frustration, anger) using simple resets like pausing, breathing, eye contact, and brief acknowledgments, then evaluate feedback by separating tone from content and asking if it’s true and useful (heard before, tied to clear standards, would another coach agree). She emphasizes reframing tough coaching as often not personal, taking ownership, staying curious, and asking clarifying questions. She also distinguishes discomfort from demeaning or inconsistent coaching and advises parents to manage their reactions, avoid undermining coaches, help kids process feedback logically, and address truly inappropriate behavior privately.

    00:00 Tough Coach Reality

    01:14 Youth Coaches Context

    03:00 Manage Your Emotions

    04:43 Quick Reset Tools

    06:19 Is It True Useful

    09:20 Reframe Coach Intent

    11:06 Own It Stay Curious

    13:11 When Coaching Crosses Line

    15:16 Parents Handle Feedback

    19:17 Subscribe And Questions

    20:02 Athlete Reflection Prompts

    23:19 Wrap Up And Resources

    Discussion questions:

    • When a coach gives you tough feedback, what’s your first reaction — and what helps you reset?
    • Can you think of a time when feedback felt harsh but actually helped you improve?
    • How can you tell the difference between feedback that’s helpful and feedback that’s not clear?
    • What’s one way I can support you when you’re dealing with a tough coach or hard feedback?

    Thanks for joining me on Confident, Calm, and Clutch Car Ride Conversations! If you found this episode helpful, please subscribe to the podcast so you never miss a moment. Share it with other parents or coaches who could use a little extra inspiration on the go.

    For exclusive tips, tools, and updates join my newsletter at www.confidentcalmclutch.com/newsletter

    For more specific tips on building mental toughness, buy my book Confident, Calm and Clutch: How to build confidence and mental toughness for young athletes using sports psychology

    If you are a coach looking for ways to build mental toughness into your practices then check out my coaching resources (books, assessments, conversation starters, community and more) here.

    Parents join my Facebook group to Help Your Athlete Gain Mental Toughness for Parents

    Have an idea for a topic? Submit your idea here.

    Questions? Comments? Ideas? Email me: valerie.alston@valstoncoaching.com

    Follow Me on:

    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/valstoncoaching

    Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/valstoncoaching

    YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@valstoncoaching9666

    Watch every episode of Car Ride Conversations here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLOjguEFjF88w5Wl-eA9dlkwLk7f_sI12V

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    25 mins