Mastering Habits: Law 2 - Make it attractive

Join host Valerie Alston on this episode of Car Ride Conversations for Sports Families as she dives into the science of habit formation and motivation. Learn how to connect habits to purpose, enjoyment, and identity, and discover practical tips from James Clear's book, 'Atomic Habits.' Valerie discusses the dopamine feedback loop, temptation bundling, and surrounding yourself with the right influences to build effective habits. Ideal for parents and young athletes aiming to improve mental toughness, resilience, and confidence, this conversation will help you build stronger relationships and lifelong skills. Tune in for actionable advice on making habits stick and avoiding negative behaviors. Don't forget to like, share, and subscribe for more insightful discussions!

00:00 Introduction to Motivation and Habits

00:20 Podcast Introduction and Host Welcome

01:07 Understanding the Second Law of Behavior Change

01:52 The Dopamine Feedback Loop

02:44 Temptation Bundling Explained

04:03 Practical Examples of Temptation Bundling

06:22 Combining Temptation Bundling with Habit Stacking

07:27 The Role of Belonging in Habit Formation

09:35 Surrounding Yourself with the Right People

12:48 Reframing Negative Habits

14:41 Interactive Questions for Listeners

18:44 Conclusion and Call to Action

Atomic Habits link: https://amzn.to/49rZNP4

Discussion questions:

1. What’s something you want to do every day — and something you need to do — and how could we pair them together?
2. Who are 2-3 people you’re around often who have habits you admire — and how do those habits influence you?(Friends, teammates, older players, etc.)
3. When you hear someone say “I have to go work out” vs. “It’s time to get stronger and faster,” how do those feel different?
4. What’s one habit you could make more attractive this week — and what would help make it feel more fun, social, or rewarding? (Could be schoolwork, workouts, even sleep routines)

Thanks for joining me on Confident, Calm, and Clutch Car Ride Conversations! If you found this episode helpful, please subscribe to the podcast so you never miss a moment. Share it with other parents or coaches who could use a little extra inspiration on the go.

For exclusive tips, tools, and updates join my newsletter at www.confidentcalmclutch.com/newsletter

For more specific tips on building mental toughness, buy my book Confident, Calm and Clutch: How to build confidence and mental toughness for young athletes using sports psychology

If you are a coach looking for ways to build mental toughness into your practices then check out my coaching resources (books, assessments, conversation starters, community and more) here.

Parents join my Facebook group to Help Your Athlete Gain Mental Toughness for Parents

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Kickstart Your Year: Build better habits - Make it Obvious

In this episode of Car Ride Conversations for Sports Families, host Valerie Alston discusses the importance of habit formation over motivation for achieving long-term goals. She dives into the science of habit formation and shares practical tips on building effective habits for athletes and their families. Valerie highlights the significance of making good habits obvious and bad habits invisible. She provides actionable strategies, inspired by James Clear's 'Atomic Habits,' for creating an environment conducive to achieving goals. Valerie also prompts listeners to engage in meaningful family conversations about identifying and implementing new habits. Join the conversation for insights on building mental toughness, resilience, and confidence while fostering stronger family relationships. Don't forget to share this episode and subscribe to Valerie's newsletter for more tips.

00:00 Introduction to Motivation and Habits

00:52 Welcome to Car Ride Conversations

01:26 Kicking Off January with Better Habits

03:19 Understanding Habit Formation

06:13 The Habit Loop Explained

09:11 Making Good Habits Obvious

10:56 Eliminating Bad Habits

12:17 Aligning Habits with Identity

14:11 Practical Tips for Building Habits

16:15 Family Discussion Questions

19:58 Conclusion and Next Steps

Atomic Habits link: https://amzn.to/49rZNP4

Discussion questions:

1. What’s one habit you do automatically without thinking?
2. What’s a good habit we could make more obvious this week?
3. What’s one distraction we could make less visible?
4. Where could we place reminders to help you succeed?

Thanks for joining me on Confident, Calm, and Clutch Car Ride Conversations! If you found this episode helpful, please subscribe to the podcast so you never miss a moment. Share it with other parents or coaches who could use a little extra inspiration on the go.

For exclusive tips, tools, and updates join my newsletter at www.confidentcalmclutch.com/newsletter

For more specific tips on building mental toughness, buy my book Confident, Calm and Clutch: How to build confidence and mental toughness for young athletes using sports psychology

If you are a coach looking for ways to build mental toughness into your practices then check out my coaching resources (books, assessments, conversation starters, community and more) here.

Parents join my Facebook group to Help Your Athlete Gain Mental Toughness for Parents

Have an idea for a topic? Submit your idea here.

Questions? Comments? Ideas? Email me: valerie.alston@valstoncoaching.com

Follow Me on:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/valstoncoaching

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/valstoncoaching

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@valstoncoaching9666

Watch every episode of Car Ride Conversations here:

Navigating Athletic Slumps: Insights and Strategies

Every athlete experiences slumps—periods where performance doesn't meet expectations. In this episode of Car Ride Conversations for Sports Families, host Valerie Alston explores the nature of slumps, why they occur, and how to overcome them. Valerie shares her personal story of switching to left-handed hitting in softball and the growth that came from this challenging season. Learn about the importance of going back to basics, focusing on controllables, and maintaining a curious mindset. This episode provides practical advice for young athletes and their parents on how to navigate these tough periods and ultimately emerge stronger. Tune in for valuable tips on building mental toughness, resilience, and confidence. Remember to subscribe and share if you find this episode helpful!

00:00 Introduction: Understanding the Slump

01:09 Defining a Slump: What It Is and Isn't

02:59 Personal Story: Overcoming My Slump

07:55 Strategies to Break Out of a Slump

12:09 The Importance of Patience and Resilience

16:11 Interactive Q&A: Reflecting on Your Slump

20:19 Conclusion: Keep the Conversations Rolling

Discussion questions:

1. What part of your game feels like a slump right now — and what do you think that slump might be trying to teach you?
2. If we focused less on stats and more on small wins, what would success look like for you this week?
3. Can you think of a time when something felt hard in the moment but ended up helping you in the long run — like my switch-hitting story?
4. How can I support you during a slump without adding pressure?

Thanks for joining me on Confident, Calm, and Clutch Car Ride Conversations! If you found this episode helpful, please subscribe to the podcast so you never miss a moment. Share it with other parents or coaches who could use a little extra inspiration on the go.

For exclusive tips, tools, and updates join my newsletter at www.confidentcalmclutch.com/newsletter

For more specific tips on building mental toughness, buy my book Confident, Calm and Clutch: How to build confidence and mental toughness for young athletes using sports psychology

If you are a coach looking for ways to build mental toughness into your practices then check out my coaching resources (books, assessments, conversation starters, community and more) here.

***NEW COACHES PODCAST***

I’m getting ready to launch a brand-new podcast called The Clutch Academy where I’ll interview coaches across sports and levels to unpack this core question:

How do great coaches build athletes who are confident, calm, clutch and full of character?

If you’re a coach with something to share or know someone who should be on the mic I’d love to hear from you.

👉 Click here to apply to be a guest on The Clutch Academy

https://valstoncoaching.typeform.com/clutchacademy

Parents join my Facebook group to Help Your Athlete Gain Mental Toughness for Parents

Have an idea for a topic? Submit your idea here.

Questions? Comments? Ideas? Email me: valerie.alston@valstoncoaching.com

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How to Turn Failure into Success: The Growth Mindset for Athletes

Failure isn't the enemy; it's the best teammate you can have. In this episode of Car Ride Conversations for Sports Families, host Valerie Alston discusses the importance of embracing failure as part of the growth process for athletes. Valerie explains how a growth mindset, where athletes view their abilities as improvable with effort and practice, can transform failures into learning opportunities. She contrasts this with a fixed mindset, where abilities are viewed as static, and emphasizes the importance of redefining success beyond just wins and stats. The episode also provides practical tips for fostering a growth mindset, setting tangible goals, and redefining success. Conversation prompts are provided to encourage meaningful dialogue between parents and young athletes about mental toughness, resilience, and confidence.

00:00 Introduction: Embracing Failure

01:11 Understanding Failure in Sports

02:52 Building a Growth Mindset

09:08 Redefining Success Beyond Wins

15:20 Conversation Prompts for Families

19:52 Conclusion and Call to Action

Discussion questions:

1. “What’s a recent mistake or failure that actually taught you something useful?”
2. “If success wasn’t about winning today, how else could you define it?”
3. “How do elite athletes you admire talk about failure — and what does that teach you about how they improved?”
4. “How do my (parent or coach) reactions — my words, tone, or body language — after your tough moments affect the way you feel about failure?”

Thanks for joining me on Confident, Calm, and Clutch Car Ride Conversations! If you found this episode helpful, please subscribe to the podcast so you never miss a moment. Share it with other parents or coaches who could use a little extra inspiration on the go.

For exclusive tips, tools, and updates join my newsletter at www.confidentcalmclutch.com/newsletter

For more specific tips on building mental toughness, buy my book Confident, Calm and Clutch: How to build confidence and mental toughness for young athletes using sports psychology

If you are a coach looking for ways to build mental toughness into your practices then check out my coaching resources (books, assessments, conversation starters, community and more) here.

Parents join my Facebook group to Help Your Athlete Gain Mental Toughness for Parents

Have an idea for a topic? Submit your idea here.

Questions? Comments? Ideas? Email me: valerie.alston@valstoncoaching.com

Follow Me on:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/valstoncoaching

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/valstoncoaching

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@valstoncoaching9666

Watch every episode of Car Ride Conversations here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLOjguEFjF88w5Wl-eA9dlkwLk7f_sI12V

Unlock Your Athlete's Potential: The 24-Hour Rule for Post-Performance Reflection

Join host Valerie Alston in this insightful episode of 'Car Ride Conversations for Sports Families,' where she introduces the 24-hour rule to help athletes move past their performances—both good and bad. Learn how to use an effective post-performance review process to build confidence, stay motivated, and focus on future growth. Valerie discusses the importance of experiencing emotions, transitioning to evaluation, and finally, taking action. Explore five key areas to reflect on after every game or practice: competence builders, confidence builders, goal review, mental game plan, and game strategy. Whether you're a parent or an athlete, understand how to make these reflections a quick habit and explore practical examples. Subscribe, share, and take your athletic performance to the next level!

00:00 Introduction to the 24 Hour Rule

00:29 Welcome to Car Ride Conversations

01:00 Understanding the 24 Hour Rule

01:47 Emotional Reflection and Evaluation

04:38 Post Performance Review Process

05:03 Five Key Areas of Reflection

10:42 Moving from Reflection to Action

14:23 Engaging in the 24 Hour Rule

18:55 Final Thoughts and Encouragement

Discussion questions:

1. What went well for you today — what part of your performance are you genuinely proud of?
2. If you had to pick one thing to improve on next time, what would it be and why?
3. After your 24 hours are up, what’s one thing you want to focus on moving forward?
4. How can we make your post-performance review a quick, positive habit after games or practices? How and where will you record it?

Thanks for joining me on Confident, Calm, and Clutch Car Ride Conversations! If you found this episode helpful, please subscribe to the podcast so you never miss a moment. Share it with other parents or coaches who could use a little extra inspiration on the go.

For exclusive tips, tools, and updates join my newsletter at www.confidentcalmclutch.com/newsletter

For more specific tips on building mental toughness, buy my book Confident, Calm and Clutch: How to build confidence and mental toughness for young athletes using sports psychology

If you are a coach looking for ways to build mental toughness into your practices then check out my coaching resources (books, assessments, conversation starters, community and more) here.

Parents join my Facebook group to Help Your Athlete Gain Mental Toughness for Parents

Have an idea for a topic? Submit your idea here.

Questions? Comments? Ideas? Email me: valerie.alston@valstoncoaching.com

Follow Me on:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/valstoncoaching

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/valstoncoaching

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@valstoncoaching9666

Watch every episode of Car Ride Conversations here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLOjguEFjF88w5Wl-eA9dlkwLk7f_sI12V

Keeping the Gratitude Alive: Thanksgiving Conversations with Valerie Alston

In this special Thanksgiving episode, we explore the power of expressing gratitude out loud to deepen relationships and turn appreciation into action. Valerie shares practical tips for sparking meaningful conversations about gratitude at the Thanksgiving table and beyond, along with insights from her extensive experience teaching resilience to Army soldiers. Tune in to learn how to make gratitude a lasting practice in your family, hear conversation prompts to use during the holiday, and get motivated to keep the gratitude practice alive year-round. Join us for an episode full of heartfelt stories, valuable lessons, and actionable ideas to enhance your family's connection and wellbeing. Happy Thanksgiving!

00:00 Introduction to Thanksgiving and Gratitude

00:26 Welcome to Car Ride Conversations

00:59 Thanksgiving Preparations and Family Plans

01:53 Reflecting on Last Week's Gratitude Practice

03:01 The Power of Sharing Good Things

05:02 Deepening Gratitude Through Conversation

09:35 Thanksgiving Gratitude Prompts

11:21 Continuing Gratitude Beyond Thanksgiving

13:57 Conversation Prompts for Gratitude

16:32 Closing Remarks and Additional Resources

To try the 30 Day Gratitude Challenge for Free go here: https://www.confidentcalmclutch.com/30daygratitudechallenge

Discussion questions:

1. What’s something you noticed or learned from doing the gratitude practice last week?
2. Who is someone you want to thank in person this week, and how could you do it?
3. What’s one Thanksgiving tradition or moment that makes you feel most grateful?
4. How can we keep gratitude part of our family routine after the holiday?

Thanks for joining me on Confident, Calm, and Clutch Car Ride Conversations! If you found this episode helpful, please subscribe to the podcast so you never miss a moment. Share it with other parents or coaches who could use a little extra inspiration on the go.

For exclusive tips, tools, and updates join my newsletter at www.confidentcalmclutch.com/newsletter

For more specific tips on building mental toughness, buy my book Confident, Calm and Clutch: How to build confidence and mental toughness for young athletes using sports psychology

If you are a coach looking for ways to build mental toughness into your practices then check out my coaching resources (books, assessments, conversation starters, community and more) here.

Parents join my Facebook group to Help Your Athlete Gain Mental Toughness for Parents

Have an idea for a topic? Submit your idea here.

Questions? Comments? Ideas? Email me: valerie.alston@valstoncoaching.com

Follow Me on:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/valstoncoaching

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/valstoncoaching

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@valstoncoaching9666

Watch every episode of Car Ride Conversations here:

Harnessing the Power of Gratitude for Mental Toughness and Performance

Discover how gratitude can be a powerful tool for mental toughness and performance in sports In this episode of Car Ride Conversations for Sports Families, host Valerie Alston delves into the concept of mental toughness and emphasizes the importance of gratitude as a powerful performance tool. Valerie explains how practicing gratitude can enhance happiness, stress management, resilience, and overall mental toughness. She introduces a simple yet effective gratitude practice called the 'Three Good Things' exercise, which involves noticing and reflecting on good things daily. Valerie provides scientific insights on why gratitude matters and offers practical tips for incorporating it into daily life, specifically for young athletes and their families. The episode concludes with a series of thought-provoking questions designed to spark meaningful conversations and encourage ongoing gratitude practices within families.

00:00 Introduction to Mental Toughness and Gratitude

01:34 The Science Behind Gratitude

02:36 Negativity Bias and Its Impact

05:04 Gratitude in Sports Performance

07:56 Three Good Things Exercise

12:27 Reflection and Gratitude

14:23 Gratitude Practice Challenge

18:06 Discussion Prompts and Conclusion

To try the 30 Day Gratitude Challenge for Free go here: https://www.confidentcalmclutch.com/30daygratitudechallenge

Discussion questions:

1. What’s one thing that went right for you today, big or small?
2. Who’s someone on your team or at school you’re grateful for — and why?
3. What challenge are you thankful for because it taught you something?
4. How can we remind each other to notice ‘three good things’ this week?

Thanks for joining me on Confident, Calm, and Clutch Car Ride Conversations! If you found this episode helpful, please subscribe to the podcast so you never miss a moment. Share it with other parents or coaches who could use a little extra inspiration on the go.

For exclusive tips, tools, and updates join my newsletter at www.confidentcalmclutch.com/newsletter

For more specific tips on building mental toughness, buy my book Confident, Calm and Clutch: How to build confidence and mental toughness for young athletes using sports psychology

If you are a coach looking for ways to build mental toughness into your practices then check out my coaching resources (books, assessments, conversation starters, community and more) here.

Parents join my Facebook group to Help Your Athlete Gain Mental Toughness for Parents

Have an idea for a topic? Submit your idea here.

Questions? Comments? Ideas? Email me: valerie.alston@valstoncoaching.com

Follow Me on:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/valstoncoaching

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/valstoncoaching

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@valstoncoaching9666

Watch every episode of Car Ride Conversations here:

Transforming Youth Sports: The You Matter Ankeny Classic Softball Tournament

In the final part of our series, host Valerie Alston engages in a deep conversation with Justin about the You Matter Ankeny Classic, a unique softball tournament focused on mental health and sportsmanship. Justin shares how he brought together counselors, coaches, and athletes to create an event that emphasizes character over competition. This episode of Car Ride Conversations for Sports Families explores the importance of mental health in sports and offers actionable insights for communities looking to replicate this impactful model. With discussion prompts and tips for parents, this episode is a must-listen for anyone interested in youth sports and mental wellness.

00:00 Introduction to the You Matter Ankeny Classic

00:23 Welcome to Car Ride Conversations

00:56 Justin's Perspective on Mental Health in Sports

01:10 Creating the You Matter Ankeny Classic

02:56 Tournament Highlights and Innovations

04:40 Encouraging Sportsmanship and Community

06:16 Final Thoughts and Contact Information

08:19 Discussion Prompts for Families

12:31 Closing Remarks and Call to Action

To reach out to Justin about starting a tournament or project like this email him at jbogers81@gmail.com

To participate in the tournament please visit: https://usssa.com/baseball/event_home/?eventID=409341 or email the Ankeny Girls Softball Association at: ankenygirls.softball@usssa.com

Discussion questions:

1. What does “You Matter” mean to you when it comes to sports and teammates?
2. The You Matter Classic gave the biggest trophy for sportsmanship. If you were designing an award for your team, what would it celebrate and why?
3. How do you think sports could look different if every tournament or season focused more on mental health and kindness?
4. What’s one simple way our family or team could make sports more fun and supportive for everyone?
5. How can we, as adults, help keep the joy in sports for kids especially when competition gets intense?

Thanks for joining me on Confident, Calm, and Clutch Car Ride Conversations! If you found this episode helpful, please subscribe to the podcast so you never miss a moment. Share it with other parents or coaches who could use a little extra inspiration on the go.

For exclusive tips, tools, and updates join my newsletter at www.confidentcalmclutch.com/newsletter

For more specific tips on building mental toughness, buy my book Confident, Calm and Clutch: How to build confidence and mental toughness for young athletes using sports psychology

If you are a coach looking for ways to build mental toughness into your practices then check out my coaching resources (books, assessments, conversation starters, community and more) here.

Parents join my Facebook group to Help Your Athlete Gain Mental Toughness for Parents

Have an idea for a topic? Submit your idea...