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In this powerful and deeply transparent Season 3 premiere, Robby Bolden sits down with Phil and Priscilla Fretwell to begin a two-part conversation about brokenness, betrayal, repentance, and redemption in marriage.

Phil shares his decades-long struggle with pornography, secrecy, and pride—even while serving as a church leader. Priscilla opens up about the trauma of betrayal, the lies she believed about herself, and the emotional and spiritual disconnect that followed. Together, they recount how hidden sin nearly destroyed their marriage—and how confession, humility, and radical transparency became the pathway to healing.

This episode is a sobering reminder for pastors and church leaders: secrecy fuels bondage, but humility opens the door to grace.

Key Themes from Part 1

1. The Destructive Power of Secrecy

• Hidden sin creates internal war (Psalm 32:3–5).
• Managing sin is not the same as experiencing transformation.
• Pride keeps leaders isolated and resistant to healing.

2. Betrayal Trauma and Emotional Fallout

• Priscilla’s honest reflection on fear, anger, shame, and believing she was “not enough.”
• The long-term impact of unresolved hurt and spiritual disconnection in marriage.
• How secrecy affected not just their relationship—but their entire family system.

3. Humility as the Turning Point

• A pivotal moment of desperation that led Phil to surrender.
• “God resists the proud but gives grace to the humble.”
• The difference between information disclosure and true repentance.

4. The Role of Counseling and True Healing

• Why counseling alone cannot replace heart transformation.
• The danger of performing—even in therapy.
• Healing requires confession, community, and dependence on God.

5. Breaking Generational Secrecy

• Why they chose to share appropriately with their children.
• How transparency created deeper unity instead of destruction.
• The ripple effect of confession within extended family relationships.

6. Guarding the Heart Moving Forward

• Becoming intentional about media consumption.
• Cultivating spiritual and emotional intimacy.
• Choosing lifelong transparency over image management.

Powerful Quotes from the Episode

• “There is no secret healing.”
• “I became convinced I couldn’t save myself.”
• “It’s not a moment of transparency—it’s a lifetime of transparency.”
• “What I saw for the first time in 28 years of marriage was a repentant and humble heart.”
• “God had freedom in mind—not just for us, but for our family.”

Scripture Referenced

• Psalm 32:3–5 – The weight of unconfessed sin
• James 5:16 – Confess your sins to one another
• 1 John 5 – Sin that leads to death
• John 17:21 – Unity as testimony
• Psalm 51:17 – A broken and contrite heart

Why This Matters for Pastors

• You can lead publicly while dying privately.
• Pride isolates; humility restores.
• Image management is the enemy of healing.
• Freedom begins where secrecy ends.

If you are struggling in silence, this episode is both a warning and an invitation.

Coming Next Week (Part 2)

In Part 2, Phil and Priscilla share what happened after confession—how God rebuilt trust, restored intimacy, transformed their family culture, and used their story to impact others.

Resources:
Learn more about Phil and Priscilla’s journey in Savage Marriage.

If this episode encouraged you, consider sharing it with a fellow pastor or ministry spouse who may need hope today.

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Host: Robby Bolden
Guests: Ron Cook (Founder, Care for Pastors), Robert White (Counselor, Care for Pastors)

Episode Overview

In the final installment of our Healthy Habits of Pastors series, Robby sits down with Ron Cook and Robert White for a meaningful conversation about the importance of developing and protecting a healthy mind in ministry. With decades of combined pastoral and counseling experience, Ron and Robert offer practical wisdom, biblical encouragement, and honest insight into the mental battles pastors face every day.

Key Topics Discussed

• Why the mind is often the primary battleground for pastors
• The subtle lies spiritual leaders are most tempted to believe
• How past wounds and ministry pressures shape mental habits
• Practical strategies for preparing the mind for unpredictable ministry moments
• The connection between spiritual truth and emotional resilience
• Daily practices that strengthen mental and spiritual clarity
• How community and counseling play a vital role in mental well-being

Notable Quotes

• “You can plan your day, but ministry often surprises you—your mind needs to be anchored before the surprises come.”
• “Lies grow in the dark. Truth brings them into the light.”
• “A healthy mind starts with remembering who God is, and who you are in Christ.”

Resources Mentioned

• Care for Pastors counseling and support programs
• Pastoral health resources available at CareForPastors.com

Who This Episode Is For

• Pastors and ministry leaders carrying the weight of daily spiritual and emotional demands
• Church staff looking to build sustainable, healthy rhythms
• Anyone seeking biblical and practical guidance for mental and emotional wholeness

Connect With Care for Pastors

• Website: CareForPastors.com
• Facebook: Care for Pastors
• Instagram: @careforpastors

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Series: Healthy Habits of Pastors
Host: Robby Bolden
Guests: Art & Mary Ellen Eaton and Traci Bolden

Episode Overview

In this episode of the Care for Pastors Podcast, host Robby Bolden wraps up our three-part series on Healthy Marriages with a conversation about intimacy—emotional, spiritual, and physical.

Robby is joined again by Art and Mary Ellen Eaton, along with his wife Traci, for an honest and grace-filled discussion on how couples in ministry can strengthen their connection and build a marriage that reflects the heart of Christ.

Together, they explore how healthy intimacy goes beyond physical closeness to include spiritual unity and emotional understanding, and how these areas impact both marriage and ministry.

Key Topics:

• Understanding intimacy in marriage from a biblical and practical perspective
• How emotional, spiritual, and physical connection work together
• Common challenges pastors and spouses face in maintaining intimacy
• Ways to rebuild connection when distance or busyness sets in
• Encouragement for couples serving in ministry together

Key Takeaway:

A healthy marriage doesn’t just happen—it’s cultivated through intentional connection in every area of life. When pastors and their spouses pursue intimacy with grace and understanding, they reflect the beauty of the gospel in their home and ministry.

Resources Mentioned:

• Care for Pastors
• Pastoral marriage and family care resources
• Counseling and support services for ministry couples

Next Episode:

Join us next time as we close out our Healthy Habits of Pastors series with a powerful conversation on A Healthy Mind—how to guard your thoughts, manage stress, and stay centered in truth as you serve.