We've all sat in a one-to-one that felt like a grilling rather than a genuine conversation. And if you're leading a team, you might be doing the same thing without even realising it. In this episode, we're sharing 10 principles to help you run one-to-ones that actually work, both for the people you manage and for the one-to-ones you have with your own line manager.
Nobody teaches you how to do this well. Most of us copy what we experienced, which means the same unhelpful patterns get passed down from manager to manager. We cover the fundamentals that break that cycle, from who should own the agenda to how often you should actually be meeting.
Key points from this episode
- Why one-to-ones should be employee-driven, not manager-led — and what that looks like in practice
- The difference between a one-to-one and a status update (and why confusing the two is costing you)
- How to distinguish between different types of one-to-ones and why mixing them into one conversation doesn't serve anyone
- Why consistency matters more than length or frequency — and the message you send when you cancel
- The simple follow-up habit that makes one-to-ones genuinely useful over time
Timestamps
00:00 Introduction — why one-to-ones come up so often with clients
01:00 Why nobody is ever taught how to run a good one-to-one
02:30 The research linking effective one-to-ones to high-performing teams
03:30 Principle 1: One-to-ones should be employee-driven, not manager-driven
04:15 Principle 2: They are for development, not just reporting
05:00 Principle 3: Make space for the human, not just the work
06:50 The cost of one-to-ones that feel like interrogations — a real client example
09:00 Principle 4: Distinguish between different types of one-to-ones
11:00 Principle 5: Come with an agenda — and who should own it
13:30 How to prompt agenda preparation as a line manager
14:30 Principle 6: Status updates don't belong in one-to-ones
16:20 How proactive communication outside one-to-ones can transform the dynamic
18:00 Principle 7: Consistency matters more than length
19:30 Principle 8: Shorter, focused meetings often outperform longer ones
20:00 What's the right frequency? The case for biweekly
21:30 Why senior leaders often need more frequent one-to-ones, not fewer
23:00 Principle 9: Frequency should flex intentionally — not just when things come up
25:30 The importance of protecting one-to-one time from more senior demands
27:30 Principle 10: Follow up on commitments — documentation matters
29:00 A simple four-section format to keep one-to-ones on track
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