Change, Overplanning, and Getting Stuck

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Change, Overplanning, and Getting Stuck

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Have you ever experienced the joy of unblocking a drain? I know, I know. But if you know, you know…it’s satisfying! Not least because a blocked drain is the opposite of satisfying. We’re not going to focus on blocked drains in this episode of The Gentle Rebel Podcast, don’t worry. It’s just a metaphor for what happens sometimes in life, when things that feel like they’re supposed to be free-flowing get stuck, festering in a stagnant pool of unwanted water. Sometimes something gets stuck because stuff around it jams it. Sometimes we might even put that stuff there ourselves, not realising it doesn’t really fit…or help. I’ve often added so much around the edges of a meaningful endeavour or important project that it eventually comes to a grinding halt because it becomes so overly complicated. I love planning. Sometimes a bit too much. I love planning. I love making systems and creating templates. When I was at school, I liked making revision timetables so much that I ran out of time to actually revise because I was too busy planning. I love dreaming up everything that could happen. Those dreams can get derailed under the weight of their plans. This year I’ve been experimenting with paring back parts of life that have become over-complex, and making space for my tendency to add complexity when I notice that temptation arises. I’ve also been trying to create breathing room to simplify after complexity has occurred, before committing it to anything concrete or permanent. Because I’ve also noticed that sometimes complexity is actually a necessary part of the process. Shutting it down as soon as it starts might mean pulling the plug on something that could be important later. So I don’t want to do that. The key is recognising that complexity might simply be part of what is going on under the soil for a while, rather than something that means I ought to rewrite every page on my website, add new channels and announce my commitment to a bunch of things that are both impossible and undesirable to maintain once I eventually strip back to the simple heart of things at the right moment. I stopped overcomplicating change I’ve been to Finland twice this year. The first trip involved gout threat, a painful shoulder injury caused by reaching for a seatbelt, and a realisation when I got home that something needed to change. I’d been trying to improve my health and fitness for years. But this time I decided to keep things small and simple rather than following an elaborate plan. Things Change But Not Necessarily On Our Timetable You may be familiar with the idea behind Gates’s law: We overestimate what can happen in the short term and underestimate what can happen in the long term. Over the past five months, I’ve seen a lot of progress with my weight and fitness. In large part because I’ve kept it small and simple, resisting the urge to overcomplicate things, make elaborate plans and build complicated systems and processes. Something just sort of clicked in April. Along with a meaningful motivation, it’s the fact that I haven’t got in my own way by demanding too much, too fast. The Pressure We Put on Quick Fixes When I’m motivated to change and thinking about it a lot, I want it now. The more urgently I want change to happen, the more likely I am to overengineer the process. And that’s what drives me to make elaborate plans to get as much done in as little time as possible. Not only does this risk burning the desire out, but it can also divert important resources from other parts of life, leading to a compounding negative effect. Simplicity can be a strategy for change So how do we stop ourselves from adding complexity to systems that just need time to blossom? The big secret? I guess it’s about being patient. Oh wow. How boring. Yeah, I know. Sorry. It’s also about avoiding overplanning and making everything elaborately complex. Oh, but I really like making detailed plans and timetables. I know! Sorry. We’re going to need to find other ways to scratch that itch, because I’ll concede it is a fun one to go at. Environmental Sensitivity and The Impact of Small Things For highly sensitive people, this might matter even more. Research into differential susceptibility shows that people with sensory processing sensitivity can be more strongly affected by their surroundings, both positively and negatively. When we add layers of complexity around our goals, we can create cognitive chaos: a foggy mess of stimulation that eventually leads us to check out and pull the plug on the goal altogether. On the other hand, a few simple habits and environmental cues can have a surprisingly positive effect. This doesn’t mean that highly sensitive people need empty lives. Complexity is sometimes unavoidable, and sometimes valuable. It means that unnecessary complexity can have a disproportionately large effect when we’re already processing a lot. If you’re struggling to let ...

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