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More than a third of Americans say they have lost a friend, family member, or partner over political differences. With the midterms days away and the holidays right behind them, how do we keep that from happening at our own tables?

Host John O'Brien is joined by three experts who each bring a piece of the answer. Psychologist Tania Israel shares how to prepare for and carry on a conversation with someone who sees things differently. Psychologist Dana Ackley explains what happens emotionally when a political conversation heats up, and how to steady yourself in the moment. Michael Lee, communication professor and director of the College of Charleston's Civility Initiative, looks at how political identity and messaging shape the way we talk to each other.

In this episode, we will talk about:

• How to stay curious instead of defensive
• Changing minds versus keeping relationships
• When to set a boundary or walk away
• How to handle the days after the results, win or lose
• One thing to try before Election Day

I hope that you’ll consider listening in to this enlightening discussion.

For more on my work on rudeness and incivility, you can find information at:

www.activatesuccess.org

www.rudenessrehab.com

https://www.linkedin.com/in/johnmobrienphd/

https://www.youtube.com/@RudenessRehab

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Psychological safety, workplace culture, and empathy in leadership take center stage on this episode of Civility Matters. Host Dr. John O'Brien sits down with Karen Hall — known worldwide as the "Queen of Empathy" — a psychological safety keynote speaker, bestselling author, and leadership strategist who helps organizations build trust, engagement, and emotional intelligence at every level.

Together they unpack what psychological safety actually means, the warning signs it's missing from a conversation or a team, and how empathetic leadership fuels civility even during disagreement. Karen tackles a question many leaders avoid: can you create psychological safety for someone whose views you find genuinely harmful? She also draws a clear line between healthy disagreement and dehumanizing conflict, and offers one practical habit anyone can use today to build more trust and safety at work.

Whether you're a manager navigating a toxic workplace, an HR leader building a healthier culture, or just curious about emotional intelligence and leadership, this conversation delivers real, usable strategies.

For more on my work on rudeness and incivility, you can find information at:

www.activatesuccess.org

www.rudenessrehab.com

https://www.linkedin.com/in/johnmobrienphd/

https://www.youtube.com/@RudenessRehab

Send us Fan Mail

In this episode of Civility Matters, John O'Brien sits down with Eleni Kelakos to explore the powerful link between civility and charismatic presence. Eleni shares how treating others with respect actually amplifies a leader's charismatic presence which, in turn, reinforces civil behavior. This can create a positive feedback loop within workplace culture. The conversation also turns to the flip side: how rudeness and incivility quietly erode charisma, diminishing trust and influence over time. Left unchecked, these behaviors can spiral into a toxic workplace where connection and leadership impact suffer. A compelling case for civility as a leadership superpower.

You can find out more about Eleni's work at:

https://elenikelakos.com/

For more on my work on rudeness and incivility, you can find information at:

www.activatesuccess.org

www.rudenessrehab.com

https://www.linkedin.com/in/johnmobrienphd/

https://www.youtube.com/@RudenessRehab

For more on my work on rudeness and incivility, you can find information at:

www.activatesuccess.org

www.rudenessrehab.com

https://www.linkedin.com/in/johnmobrienphd/

https://www.youtube.com/@RudenessRehab

Send us Fan Mail

Nearly 7 in 10 workers say they've experienced a toxic workplace. On this episode of Civility Matters, Dr. Mira Brancu — clinical psychologist and co-author of Millennials' Guide to Workplace Politics — joins us to unpack Toxic Tiredness, Culture Cracks, and Stress Spillover: how workplace incivility drives burnout, and what leaders can do to build healthier, more civil cultures.

About Dr. Brancu:

Dr. Mira Brancu is a former federal healthcare research executive, and current Founder of award-winning social impact consultancy Towerscope, as well as a Duke faculty member. She helps HR and business leaders expertise-driven high-pressure industries navigate through retention, burnout, uncertainty, and power dynamics in large, complex systems.

She is also a Fellow of the American Psychological Association, Founding Member of The Sage Group business advisory and Forefront, a leadership coaching legacy of MG 100Coaches Agency, a Duke University faculty member, author of the Millennials Guide to Workplace Politics and companion workbook, a Psychology Today columnist, and host of an award-winning top 5% podcast and YouTube channel, The Hard Skills.

Contact:

Dr. Brancu's website:

https://gotowerscope.com/

Podcast:

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-hard-skills/id1706366751

YouTube:

https://www.youtube.com/@DrMiraBrancu

For more on my work on rudeness and incivility, you can find information at:

www.activatesuccess.org

www.rudenessrehab.com

https://www.linkedin.com/in/johnmobrienphd/

https://www.youtube.com/@RudenessRehab

Send us Fan Mail

In this episode of the Civility Matters podcast, psychologist Dr. Tania Israel, author of Beyond Your Bubble and Facing the Fracture, joins the conversation to explore the psychology behind political division and how cognitive bias keeps us locked in an "us versus them" mindset — in society and in the workplace.

Dr. Israel breaks down how our brains are wired to create division, why cognitive biases are so difficult to overcome, and what we can do to bridge the gap across political and ideological differences. Whether you're navigating polarized conversations at work, in your community, or across the family dinner table, this episode offers practical strategies for building understanding and fostering civil discourse in an increasingly divided world.

What we covered:

• What cognitive bias is and why it plays a central role in political division
• How "us versus them" thinking shows up in society and workplace culture
• Why political polarization makes civil discourse and collaboration harder
• Practical strategies for breaking through cognitive bias and bridging divides
• How the insights in Beyond Your Bubble and Facing the Fracture can help you navigate division in everyday life
• What leaders and individuals can do to foster civility and understanding across differences

If you're struggling with political division, workplace conflict, or simply want to understand why we're so divided — and what to do about it — this conversation with Dr. Tania Israel is essential listening.

Here is more information about Dr. Israel:

Tania Israel is a Professor Emeritus of Counseling Psychology at UC Santa Barbara and award-winning author of Beyond Your Bubble: How to Connect Across the Political Divide and Facing the Fracture: How to Navigate the Challenges of Living in a Divided Nation. She has received honors from Congress, the California State Legislature, and the American Psychological Association and has shared her expertise on bridging divides with the TODAY show, the New York Times, NPR, and dozens of other media outlets.
You can hear more from her on her podcast, Ready to Be Strong, and TEDx talks such as How to Win a Political Argument and What Halibut Fajitas Taught Me About Bridging the Political Divide.

Explore more of Tania’s books, TEDx Talks, and podcast at TaniaIsrael.com.

Below are direct links including links to some of the resources Tania mentioned during the live session, in case they are helpful to include.

Tania's Podcast

TedX Talks:

How to Win a Political Argument | Dr. Tania Israel | TEDxSanLuisObispo

What Halibut Fajitas Taught Me About Bridging the Political Divide | Tania Israel | TEDxUCSB

Tania's Books

Other resources:

AllSides.com

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For more on my work on rudeness and incivility, you can find information at:

www.activatesuccess.org

www.rudenessrehab.com

https://www.linkedin.com/in/johnmobrienphd/

https://www.youtube.com/@RudenessRehab

Send us Fan Mail

Dr. Ann Bowers Evangelista joined for a conversation on civility, self-awareness, and sustainable leadership, drawing on her experience as an endurance athlete to offer a unique framework for navigating workplace challenges. She explores how the discipline, resilience, and pacing strategies that fuel athletic endurance can help leaders stay composed, prevent burnout, and build healthier workplace culture.

What we covered:

• Why self-awareness is foundational to effective leadership and improving workplace culture
• How endurance athlete strategies translate to sustainable leadership practices
• Why civility is an essential leadership skill, not just a nice-to-have
• How emotional reactivity can derail decision-making and damage team relationships
• Practical strategies for staying grounded and managing conflict in difficult conversations
• Ways leaders can protect their energy, pace themselves, and set clear expectations without burning out
• How building resilience and endurance as a leader supports both personal well-being and team health

Whether you're navigating challenging workplace dynamics, struggling with leadership burnout, or looking to develop stronger self-awareness and composure under pressure, this conversation offers actionable insights grounded in a proven endurance framework.

Here is some information about Dr. Bowers Evangelista

Ann drives long-term leadership success in people and organizations by igniting purpose, clarity, and focus in leaders and teams. For nearly three decades, she has leveraged her experience as a psychologist, business and leadership expert, and endurance athlete to maximize human potential and business results. Organizations seek Ann’s hiring proficiency to select and develop high-caliber talent and build great teams. As a coach, Ann’s reflective abilities and goal orientation help clients focus on change that sticks. She is an expert on hiring great people, building sustainable, high-performing individuals and teams, change transformation, conflict and negotiation, feedback, and developing future talent.

Her book, The Endurance Leader, was released in 2024, and she speaks regularly on the importance of long-term thinking, discipline, and resilience in great leadership. An Ironman triathlete and marathon runner, Ann brings her high-performance focus and results orientation to her work, family, and community. She is the proud spouse of a US Air Force officer and volunteers with nonprofits that support DC’s underserved and marginalized communities.

You can find out more about her work at: https://llumos.com/

For more on my work on rudeness and incivility, you can find information at:

www.activatesuccess.org

www.rudenessrehab.com

https://www.linkedin.com/in/johnmobrienphd/

https://www.youtube.com/@RudenessRehab

Send us Fan Mail

In this episode of Civility Matters, Colt Briner joins us for a discussion about purpose, workplace conflict, toxic culture, and the leadership behaviors that undermine trust and performance. Briner, author of “The Race to Relevance” and co-creator of the “Wayfinding” system, discusses how purpose helps people navigate work and life with greater clarity and alignment. We explore how rudeness, poor communication, and unhealthy power dynamics show up in teams and why addressing them early matters for both people and organizations.

Colt also shares practical strategies for leaders, HR professionals, and managers who want to improve workplace communication, strengthen leadership and respect, and create a healthier workplace culture. They explore how civility connects to purpose-driven leadership, why rudeness happens in organizations, and practical strategies for building more respectful workplaces. The conversation highlights that treating people well isn’t a soft skill—it’s a strategic advantage grounded in purpose-centered messaging and human-centered leadership

About Colt Briner:

Colt Briner is a strategist, speaker, and creator focused on helping individuals and organizations reconnect with what makes them fully human. As the founder of an award-winning marketing agency and a senior marketing leader in healthcare, Colt has spent over two decades driving growth at the intersection of strategy, creativity, and purpose.

His work challenges conventional, performance-driven models by introducing more relational, intuitive, and holistic ways of thinking. Colt is the co-creator of Wayfinding, a reflective system designed to help people navigate life with greater clarity and alignment, and a leading voice behind the Invitation to Wholeness—an emerging body of work exploring the balance between logic and intuition, structure and flow, and the seen and unseen forces that shape our lives.

Whether working with executive teams or individuals, Colt’s approach is rooted in a simple idea: the path forward isn’t something we force, it’s something we learn to sense, trust, and follow.

Contact Colt at: https://coltbriner.com/

You can also contact him at: coltbriner@gmail.com

For more on my work on rudeness and incivility, you can find information at:

www.activatesuccess.org

www.rudenessrehab.com

https://www.linkedin.com/in/johnmobrienphd/

https://www.youtube.com/@RudenessRehab

Send us Fan Mail

Civility Matters welcomes psychologist and emotional intelligence expert Dr. Dana Ackley for a conversation about rudeness, workplace conflict, and toxic polarization. Together, we explore how emotions shape reactions, fuel conflict, and can also be used to build empathy, better decisions, and braver conversations across differences. Dr. Ackley shares practical tools for recognizing triggers, managing impulses, and improving workplace communication in divided environments where respect and connection are often strained.

Dr. Ackley explains emotional intelligence as the intelligent use of emotion, sharing practical tools for recognizing triggers, managing impulses, and humanizing “the other side.” This episode offers hopeful, actionable insights for anyone tired of rudeness and ready to help repair our social fabric.

Dr. Ackley's Bio:

Dr. Dana Ackley is a psychologist who is an executive coach and author of the book “The Little Book to Save Humanity” published in 2024. In addition, he has a forthcoming book to be published soon, entitled “Emotional Intelligence for a Divided World (https://theeqpress.com).
Dana is an internationally recognized expert in Emotional Intelligence. He works as an executive coach to senior leaders in a variety of industries. Much of his current work is devoted to helping society overcome toxic divisiveness.

For more information on Dr. Ackley: https://theeqpress.com/about-dr-ackley

For more on my work on rudeness and incivility, you can find information at:

www.activatesuccess.org

www.rudenessrehab.com

https://www.linkedin.com/in/johnmobrienphd/

https://www.youtube.com/@RudenessRehab