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The Defence Chiefs song - I'm Deluded and I'll Never Quit

Russia’s raising the stakes, risks crossing the line,

Most dangerous time in my thirty-five-year grind.

I warned them of a £28 billion hole in the ground,

But here comes the DIP with fifteen — and I’ll sign it down.

Day-to-day funding’s squeezed till the training runs dry,

We’ll dial back the ops, watch readiness say goodbye.

I know we can’t do the job with this budget so thin,

But the uniform’s comfy and the pension kicks in.

[Chorus]

I’m deluded and I’ll never quit!

Accepting the plan though I know it’s bullshit.

I could speak truth to power, walk out with my pride,

But I like the position and the stars on my side.

No moral courage, just comfortable lies,

I’m deluded and I’ll never quit — watch the forces die!

[Verse 2]

Future tech? They say the plan fails on that score,

Too much on old ships while the cutting edge is poor.

I wrote to the PM, met the chiefs in the room,

Expressed “deep concerns” — then swallowed the doom.

Healey resigned, Carns walked, they had the spine I lack,

I stay in the chair and pat the government’s back.

Longer conflicts coming, we’re not ready at all,

But I’ll toast the DIP at the next NATO ball.

[Verse 3]

I know the men and women deserve better gear and drills,

Operational pressure building, breaking iron wills.

Unaffordable plan that can’t be delivered right,

But criticising ministers? That wouldn’t be polite.

They call my warnings dramatic, overblown and loud,

I nod and agree — blend back into the crowd.

Deluded by the title, the briefings, the power,

I’ll ride this sinking ship till my final hour.

[Bridge – spoken/sung slower, bitter]

Russia probing the skies… threats growing every day…

I could fight for the funding that keeps us from decay…

But why rock the boat when the perks are so fine?

Moral courage is messy — I’ll just fall in line.

[Final Chorus – louder, mocking]

I’m deluded and I’ll never quit!

Accepting the plan though I know it’s bullshit.

I could speak truth to power, walk out with my pride,

But I like the position and the stars on my side.

No moral courage, just comfortable lies,

I’m deluded and I’ll never quit…

God save the forces… while I save my career!

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Now the Defence Investment Plan has been announced - what does it really mean?

Philip Ingram has some thoughts in song!

Starmer stood up with a shiny new plan,

£298 billion, yeah, that's what he said, man.

Fifteen extra for drones and some hybrid dreams,

But the chiefs wanted twenty-eight—now we're bursting at the seams!

They trimmed the budgets, raided the pot,

Told the MoD to save ten billion—give it all you got!

But there's a five billion hole staring back at me,

Next Prime Minister's problem—thanks for the legacy!

[Chorus]

Woefully inadequate, that's what they say,

Black hole in the budget, enemies on the way.

Drones in the water, destroyers out the door,

This ain't investment, it's sticking plasters on a open sore!

Indefensible, un-defendable,

Britain's war-ready? Mate, it's barely tenable!

[Verse 2 – NEW]

But here's the real trick, the hospital pass supreme,

4.7 billion dropped on Burnham like a bad dream.

Starmer wraps another review and calls it a win,

Delays in the spending now baked right in.

As the new King Andy Burnham takes the crown with a smile,

He can stall all defence cash for a good long while!

Political football, kicked down the road,

Black hole as a weapon in the Labour code.

[Verse 3]

Hybrid navy coming, Common Combat Vessels they say,

Mother ships for drones, gonna save the day.

But Tom Sharpe's yelling, "Cost-cutting by name!

Drones can't do it all, it's a risky game!"

Type 45s retiring, frigates on the slide,

While the spreadsheet's winning and the Navy's getting fried.

Old weapons still work, tech ain't God yet,

But we're betting the farm on a Ukrainian reset!

[Chorus]

Woefully inadequate, that's what they say,

Black hole in the budget, enemies on the way.

Drones in the water, destroyers out the door,

This ain't investment, it's sticking plasters on a open sore!

Indefensible, un-defendable,

Britain's war-ready? Mate, it's barely tenable!

[Bridge]

Lord Dannatt's fuming, "The price we'll pay's unthinkable!"

Deterrence in the toilet while the Treasury's invincible.

2.7 percent? We were promised way more,

NATO's watching, allies keeping score.

Repackaged promises, massaged figures too,

Half of what we needed—now what we gonna do?

[Verse 4 / Outro]

So raise a glass to the plan that satisfies none,

Cuts and efficiencies under the gun.

From the X feeds raging to the papers in a spin,

This Defence Investment Plan—where do we begin?

Enemies are laughing, watching from afar,

While we're playing drone wars in a budget bazaar...

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Philip Ingrams view of the Defence Investment Plan announced by the outgoing Prime Minister - Keir Starmer

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The Money Laundering Machine: Inside the global crime epidemic

In this episode of the Cybersecurity & Geopolitical Discussion, our trio of hosts discuss paradoxes surrounding money laundering and the reasons it’s so popular, particularly among well-establish organised criminal gangs.

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Vote UK:

The geopolitical, cyber and security implications of the upcoming British election…

In a year of global elections, next up on July 4 the UK decides on its next government after 14 years of rule by the right-wing Conservative Party. In this episode, our regular panel of Cijax CISO Ian Thornton Trump, Red Goat Security’s Lisa Forte and Grey Hare Media’s Philip Ingram pull apart the scenario to uncover what the impact could be on national and global security.

Appetite for Change in a Climate of Disinformation

Looking at the current UK polls, our panel discusses whether the predictions can be trusted. Possible outcomes are examined, along with their impact on a current global stage dominated by conflict and uncertainty, and the UK’s international influence and reputation.

A snap election called by Prime Minister Rishi Sunak has left little time for political campaign planning. This has stoked sound bites and disinformation as competing parties strive to make the biggest impact by scoring points over their rivals. Our panel explains why this opens the door to external interference from those that would gain from disrupting the democratic process and drive instability in a country that has extensive geopolitical influence.

Coming Clean on Security

One of the most eye-opening UK election pledges to date is the Conservative’s sudden commitment to introducing National Service for 18-year-old Brits. Our panel dive into the detail to decide whether this is merely sound-bite sensationalism or a credible security strategy that other countries should take on board.

Could the move be a way of shoring up an underfunded UK military by stealth, and how would this policy affect the armed forces? Does this election create an opportunity to stop the serial bluffing about defense capabilities and actually pledge action to solve the problem? Or would this be far too close to the truth for the UK and other major world powers?

A Matter of Trust

As disinformation reigns and a deep fake of Labour Leader Keir Starmer causes consternation, our panel examine whether the resulting skepticism and apathy among UK voters could ultimately decide the outcome of this election. With social media growing in importance as the main political battleground, influencers weald increasing power, click bait rules and hackers look set to have a field day, further eroding trust. What will this ultimately mean for the UK and its global partners?

Find out all this and more in our latest episode which dissects the perils of modern elections through the lens of the UK.

Thanks to threat intelligence business Cyjax for continued support and sponsorship.

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In this episode of the Cybersecurity & Geopolitical Discussion, hosts Ian Thornton-Trump CD, CISO for Cyjax, Lisa Forte, Partner at Red Goat Security and Philip Ingram MBE, CEO of Grey Hare Media debate the geopolitical and security dimensions of The real space race: Inside geopolitics and security of a $1.8T industry. Our PODCAST is sponsored by CYJAX.

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In Episode 21 of the Cybersecurity & Geopolitical Discussion, hosts Ian Thornton-Trump CD, CISO for Cyjax, Lisa Forte, Partner at Red Goat Security and Philip Ingram MBE, CEO of Grey Hare Media discuss how modern forces manifest, how much power is truly being wielded, and what effect it is likely to have on a year when some of world’s biggest and most influential powers are holding elections.