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Closet Cases Out And Open

Closet Cases Out And Open

Written by: Closet Cases Pod
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About this listen

Welcome to Closet Cases, the podcast where two unapologetic gays cover topics, talk shit and overshare. Dive into an uncensored mix of wild true life experiences, sex positivity, struggles of LGBTQ+ people & other minority groups, with some creepy/gruesome/dark and mysterious shit sprinkled in. We tackle it all with a mix blatant honesty, twisted humor, and a little bit of chaos. Expect unfiltered conversations, jaw-dropping confessions, and moments that’ll make you laugh, gasp, maybe learn something, and might keep you up at night. Strap in or strap on, cuz we're going for a ride!Closet Cases Pod
Episodes
  • Coincidence or Nah?
    Feb 14 2026

    🎙️ S1 EP6: Coincidence… or Nah?

    Freezing fog. Falling trees. Surviving atomic bombs.

    In this episode, Jesse and Mikey spiral (in the best way) into fate, destiny, intuition, and those moments in life that are just a little too aligned to be random.

    From near-miss disasters and long-lost twins reuniting, to uncanny synchronicities, psychic party tricks, and electronics that seem personally cursed — we’re asking the big question:

    When is a coincidence not just a coincidence?

    We get into:

    • Surviving impossible odds (twice 👀)

    • Long-lost siblings finding each other blocks away

    • Intuition vs. paranoia

    • Empaths, soulmates, and life lessons

    • Why your aura might need a spiritual colonic

    • And whether knowing your future would actually ruin it

    Plus: Butter Beans the cat triggers Alexa conspiracy theories, Jesse might be hexed, Mikey believes in destiny, and somehow we end up debating Bill Nye vs. tarot cards.

    It’s mystical. It’s chaotic. It’s existential.
    And honestly? It might have been predestined.

    ✨ Coincidence… or nah? ✨

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    1 hr and 23 mins
  • New Years Retributions
    Jan 22 2026

    It’s a new year, a new theme song, and—thankfully—everyone still has all their fingers. 🥂

    In this episode, Jesse and Mikey kick off the year by talking New Year’s goals (not resolutions), why small changes matter more than unrealistic gym promises, and how tracking stress, sleep, and heart rate can actually make a difference. From OrangeTheory milestones and “revenge bodies” to learning when to slow down and actually take a day off, this conversation goes deeper than expected.

    Along the way, they unpack:

    • Why New Year’s Eve can feel overrated (and anxiety-inducing)

    • Finding motivation through routine, data, and hot trainers

    • Work-life balance, burnout, and the struggle to truly unplug

    • Dating intentionally while still being “whores with standards”

    • Starting businesses, setting boundaries, and trusting your instincts

    And because this is Closet Cases, things also take a hard left into:

    • Rhinestone dildos, Etsy business ideas, and questionable DIY tips

    • Awkwardly hot doctor encounters

    • Wild roommate and coworker stories

    • Catholic school scandals and other absolute what-the-fuck moments

    It’s funny, messy, vulnerable, and very real—because growth doesn’t have to be polished, and neither do we.

    ✨ New year. Same chaos. Slightly better boundaries. ✨

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    59 mins
  • Sleigh Bitch
    Dec 30 2025


    Just in time to miss the holidays, Mikey and Jesse are joined by Jesse's husband Gabriel for an extra-unhinged holiday episode that starts with Christmas origins… and spirals beautifully from there.

    What begins as a deep dive into where Christmas actually comes from—pagan rituals, winter solstice, Saturnalia, mistletoe, trees, lights, and all—quickly turns into a brutally honest (and hilarious) conversation about family dysfunction, cultural traditions, religion, queerness, grief, and what the holidays really feel like when you don’t fit the Hallmark mold.

    Along the way, we cover:

    • Why December 25th isn’t Jesus’ real birthday

    • Pagan traditions the church “rebranded”

    • Latino, Filipino, and American holiday customs

    • Toxic family dynamics, religion, and being LGBTQ+ during the holidays

    • Cutting off family, setting boundaries, and chosen family

    • Spirituality, cults, reincarnation, aliens, ghosts, demons, déjà vu, and whether this life might actually be hell

    • Seasonal depression, loss, and finding joy on your own terms

    • And… plenty of off-the-rails stories that definitely didn’t make it into church

    It’s messy, funny, uncomfortable, heartfelt, and very Closet Cases.

    Whether you celebrate Christmas, something else, or nothing at all—this episode is a reminder that you’re allowed to build your own traditions, protect your peace, and survive the holidays however you need to.

    🎧 New episode out now.
    📲 Follow us on Instagram: @ClosetCasesPod
    🎄 Chrysler Merry, babes.

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    1 hr and 5 mins
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