Just in time to miss the holidays, Mikey and Jesse are joined by Jesse's husband Gabriel for an extra-unhinged holiday episode that starts with Christmas origins… and spirals beautifully from there.

What begins as a deep dive into where Christmas actually comes from—pagan rituals, winter solstice, Saturnalia, mistletoe, trees, lights, and all—quickly turns into a brutally honest (and hilarious) conversation about family dysfunction, cultural traditions, religion, queerness, grief, and what the holidays really feel like when you don’t fit the Hallmark mold.

Along the way, we cover:

• Why December 25th isn’t Jesus’ real birthday

• Pagan traditions the church “rebranded”

• Latino, Filipino, and American holiday customs

• Toxic family dynamics, religion, and being LGBTQ+ during the holidays

• Cutting off family, setting boundaries, and chosen family

• Spirituality, cults, reincarnation, aliens, ghosts, demons, déjà vu, and whether this life might actually be hell

• Seasonal depression, loss, and finding joy on your own terms

• And… plenty of off-the-rails stories that definitely didn’t make it into church

It’s messy, funny, uncomfortable, heartfelt, and very Closet Cases.

Whether you celebrate Christmas, something else, or nothing at all—this episode is a reminder that you’re allowed to build your own traditions, protect your peace, and survive the holidays however you need to.

🎧 New episode out now.
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🎄 Chrysler Merry, babes.

We bring on our first guest and immediately regret nothing. Ellis joins Jesse and Mikey for an episode that’s basically New Orleans trauma bonding: service-industry bullshit, roommate disasters, military rumors, sketchy hookups, near crimes, and people who absolutely should not have been given keys or leases.

There’s no lesson here. Just bad decisions, worse roommates, and the kind of stories you only tell people you trust — or strangers on the internet with a microphone.

If you’ve ever lived with someone unhinged, overshared at 2 a.m., or thought “this probably shouldn’t be recorded”… this one’s for you.

Follow us: @ClosetCasesPod

Because we are messy, shameless, and morally unavailable. 🌈💦

In this episode we tackle:

• ghost stories

• historical artifacts and mysterious pipes

• microplastics in our balls

• Jamba Juice horror

• Mormon gays and their “same sex attraction” scale

• Housewives meltdowns

• toxic church camps

• Jesus Camp pool confessions

• vagina toys we don’t understand

• questionable cosmetic procedures

• the evolution of mac ’n’ cheese taste

• and whore baths (praise be)

In this hilariously unfiltered episode, Jesse and Mikey continue dive deep into the wild world of sex, self-discovery, and the stories you’d never tell your mom (sorry, mom). From butt plug training sets to awkward hookups, uncut confessions, and unexpected run-ins with ex-flings, nothing is off the table.

The hosts open up about embracing their identities, finding confidence in queer spaces, and learning to laugh through life’s most uncomfortable moments — including the ones that happen in the bathroom. Along the way, they explore body talk, sexual preferences, kink curiosities, and the cultural quirks that shape us.

Grab your drink, clutch your pearls, and get ready — things are about to get tight, huh?

Jesse and Mikey kick off the pod with origin stories—messy, honest, and hilarious. From Target underwear aisle epiphanies to first-kiss panic, from family dynamics to figuring out where (and if) they fit in the gay community, the guys compare coming-out journeys, late bloomers vs. early stirrings, and the joy/chaos of finding your people. There’s house-buying stress, release-party chatter, and a reminder that everyone’s path to self-acceptance looks different.
Topics: coming out, chosen family, apps vs IRL, social anxiety, monogamy myths, suburban vs city queer life.
Explicit language.