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Coffee with The Couple Cure

Coffee with The Couple Cure

Written by: Jay & Lori Pyatt
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About this listen

 Practical Tips to help your relationship, by the time you finish your first cup–with Relationship Mentors, Jay and Lori Pyatt©Jay and Lori Pyatt Hygiene & Healthy Living Psychology Psychology & Mental Health Relationships Self-Help Social Sciences Success
Episodes
  • MY SHAME over Looking Bad MADE ME the BAD Guy

    MY SHAME over Looking Bad MADE ME the BAD Guy
    Feb 23 2026
    Have you ever brought your pain to your husband, only to be told "you're shaming me" — and did the conversation end right there? In this episode, Jay admits on camera that he knowingly used shame as a tactic to shut Lori down. Not because she was attacking him. But because it worked. We walk through 8 QUESTIONS about how shame operates in addiction and betrayal trauma — including the difference between legitimate shame that leads to change and illegitimate shame that becomes a hiding place. Jay also shares what he was actually protecting when he claimed he felt ashamed, and what belief about himself would have changed everything. If you've been told you're "shaming him" just for bringing up your pain, this one is for you. Questions we cover: When does legitimate shame stop being remorse and start becoming an excuse? Did Jay knowingly use "you're shaming me" to stop the conversation? What if shame over thinking you're a bad person actually makes you a bad person? What was he really protecting? What do wives misunderstand about how addicts use shame? Questions for the comments: Have you ever been told you were shaming him just for bringing up your pain? Does his shame look like the start of brokenness — or defensiveness? Addicts: what do you fear more — looking bad, or hurting your wife? -- To Rebuild Trust - https://thecouplecure.com/contact-me/ To Recover from Betrayal Trauma - https://pornpainhealed.com/contact-me/ Guys to Schedule a Free Call with Jay - https://porniskillingme.com/schedule-a-free-intro-call/ To Say Thanks ("Tip Jar") - https://buy.stripe.com/8wM6pe74F9LsdkA8ww -- Who is This Channel For? If porn addiction has you stuck--whether you want freedom as an addict, or you want the pain to stop as a betrayed spouse, or you need trust rebuilt in your relationship--this podcast can help. Our marriage was nearly destroyed by Jay’s porn addiction, but we found ways to make life and marriage much better than before. Now, as Trauma-Trained Certified Mentors, we’re using those best practices to help you find the peace, joy and love you’re seeking. #betrayal #relationships #pornaddiction #marriageadvice #shame #guilt #guilty
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    21 mins
  • EMPATHY DOES NOT ALWAYS WORK (what actually changed me)

    EMPATHY DOES NOT ALWAYS WORK (what actually changed me)
    Feb 9 2026
    "Did my own empathy actually make it easier for you to keep lying?” In this episode, Jay answers 10 hard questions about the hidden dynamics of deception in their marriage. We dive into: •DECEPTION DELIGHT Why some addicts pride themselves on the "high" of hiding the truth. •EXPLOSIVE FIGHTS: When Jay exploded during every fight, was it used as a tactic to shut down the conversation and avoid consequences. •DEFAULT MODE ofAddiction: Why 'time' doesn't heal an addict who isn't in active recovery. If you’ve ever felt like your attempts to help are only making things worse, this video is for you. We explore the thin line between being supportive and inadvertently providing the "distance" an addiction needs to thrive. Timestamps 0:00 Intro 0:47 One TACTIC Jay used to use 1:18 Empty house = opportunity to act out (trying to have a life enabled him) 03:52 Time heals wounds but IT DOES NOT HEAL THIS (why waiting doesn't work) 04:54 The GUILT TRIP: "You're supposed to FORGIVE me" 06:04 The addicts delusion 07:01 What happens when there are no consequences 07:56 "Created BAD FIGHTS so I'd stop talking?" 09:56 Quick acceptance of lies = back to STATUS QUO 10:24 "Console me when you should confront me" (when he camped on his bad past) 11:50 Empathy or something else: What ACTUALLY got his attention ⭐ 13:35 "Tell her to back off" - when people enabled his addiction -- To Rebuild Trust - https://thecouplecure.com/contact-me/ To Recover from Betrayal Trauma - https://pornpainhealed.com/contact-me/ Guys to Schedule a Free Call with Jay - https://porniskillingme.com/schedule-a-free-intro-call/ To Say Thanks ("Tip Jar") - https://buy.stripe.com/8wM6pe74F9LsdkA8ww -- Who is This Channel For? If porn addiction has you stuck--whether you want freedom as an addict, or you want the pain to stop as a betrayed spouse, or you need trust rebuilt in your relationship--this podcast can help. Our marriage was nearly destroyed by Jay’s porn addiction, but we found ways to make life and marriage much better than before. Now, as Trauma-Trained Certified Mentors, we’re using those best practices to help you find the peace, joy and love you’re seeking. #betrayal #relationships #pornaddiction #marriageadvice
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    16 mins
  • I Seemed Like a GOOD GUY. I WASN’T. (My Lying Created a Monster)

    I Seemed Like a GOOD GUY. I WASN’T. (My Lying Created a Monster)
    Jan 26 2026
    The "Good Guy" act was the very thing making me a monster. In this episode, Jay and Lori discuss the "reckoning" that happens when an addict finally stops managing their image. For years, Jay tried to convince himself and everyone else that he was just a "guy who liked porn", but the reality was much darker. We discuss: The "Monster" Paradox: How the effort to not look like a monster is actually what makes you one. Physical Destruction: The moment Jay realized his stress was causing Lori's body to shut down—leading to early menopause and her hair turning white. The Permanent Limp: Why time does not heal all wounds, and why some parts of a marriage may never reach "100% repair." No More Escape Routes: The "preponderance of evidence" that finally forced Jay to own the depth of the damage. "I would much rather be misunderstood and have a tomorrow, than do all the crap I was doing at that point." Timestamps 00:00 The Monster I Became Trying to Hide? 01:13 Did You Understand the Damage? (The Limp Metaphor) 02:46 What Body Parts Shut Down? (Menopause & Hair) 04:40 Why it took so long 06:09 Confusing "Functioning" With Healing? 07:24 Time Doesn't HEAL All Wounds... Nor All Addicts 07:49 When Did You Feel the Weight? / What was Different About that Moment? 09:44 The Turning Point: When Begging Stopped 12:00 When Did "It Wasn't That Bad" Collapse? 12:23 How Did It Feel? (The Monster I Became) 15:41 Questions to the Viewers -- To Rebuild Trust - https://thecouplecure.com/contact-me/ To Recover from Betrayal Trauma - https://pornpainhealed.com/contact-me/ Guys to Schedule a Free Call with Jay - https://porniskillingme.com/schedule-a-free-intro-call/ To Say Thanks ("Tip Jar") - https://buy.stripe.com/8wM6pe74F9LsdkA8ww -- Who is This Channel For? If porn addiction has you stuck--whether you want freedom as an addict, or you want the pain to stop as a betrayed spouse, or you need trust rebuilt in your relationship--this podcast can help. Our marriage was nearly destroyed by Jay’s porn addiction, but we found ways to make life and marriage much better than before. Now, as Trauma-Trained Certified Mentors, we’re using those best practices to help you find the peace, joy and love you’re seeking. #betrayal #relationships #pornaddiction #marriageadvice
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    16 mins
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