There is a version of this story where I don't make it.

Where the door I walked through in March of 2019 is the last one.

That version exists somewhere.

But it's not the one I'm living.

On my timeline, I woke up.

And this is the story of how that happened.

Episode 5 is the one I've been building toward since I first hit record.

Not because it's polished.

Because it's the most true.

This is my awakening story — nothing softened, nothing left out. From a childhood where I felt everything and trusted none of it, through the religion that promised answers and delivered rules, through the darkest moment of my life, and into a deprivation tank in Montrose, Colorado where thirty years of weight finally put itself down.

If you have ever felt too much for the room you were in — this is for you.

If you have ever built your life inside a framework and watched it fail you — this is for you.

If you are somewhere in the early tremors of your own awakening and you aren't sure if you're evolving or unraveling — you found this at exactly the right time.

A note before you press play:

This episode discusses my 2019 suicide attempt openly and without armor. If you or someone you love is struggling, please call or text 988 — anytime, day or night.

You are never alone.

Now let's go.

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988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline — call or text 988, available 24/7

Justin Nordine Tattoos — www.justinnordinetattoos.com

Deprivation tank experience — https://soakwellness.com/

Books referenced: Dolores Cannon | Michael A. Singer — The Untethered Soul | The Four Agreements

Episode 4: Trust the Process

After the weight of Episode Three, Justin Nordine shifts the energy — but not the depth. This episode is warmer, more personal, and rooted in something Justin knows better than almost anything else: the tattoo process.

For eighteen years, Justin has asked his clients to do something most people find genuinely uncomfortable. Submit their story. Sit in a consultation. Share what they want to carry on their skin for the rest of their life. And then — let go. No previews. No sketches. No control over the outcome. They don't see the design until they walk through the door on appointment day.

What sounds like a creative process is actually something much bigger. It's a practice in trust. And the fear that shows up in the days leading up to that reveal? That's the real conversation this episode is about.

Justin pulls back the curtain on his full submission process — rooted in the themes of Awaken, Transform, and Heal — and uses it as a lens to explore how fear operates in all of us. Not just in the tattoo chair, but in our relationships, our families, and in a world that currently feels louder and more uncertain than ever.

He gets honest about his own journey — including a raw moment in therapy after his suicide attempt where he told his therapist the one thing he wanted most was to fall in love with himself. He shares the personal reality of what it looks like to stop living for other people's approval, including navigating judgment from others about his own family — and what it took to stop carrying that fear as his own.

This episode makes a clear distinction between fear that is protecting you and fear that is just running the show. And it offers something quieter and more grounded as an alternative — not confidence, not certainty, but love. Real love. The kind that starts inside, that doesn't ask for anyone's permission, and that makes trust possible even when the outcome is unknown.

The world is full of things to grip right now. Epstein files. Economic instability. The possibility of war. And closer to home — the bills, the kids, the health scares, the life that doesn't look like you planned. Justin isn't asking you to let go of all of it.

He's just asking you to notice where your hand is clenched.

Because the most meaningful work — in the tattoo studio and in life — happens in the space between what we think we want and what we actually need. And that space only opens when we're willing to trust the process.

Why is it so easy for some of us to "scroll past" the intensity of this moment?

Right now, the energy across this country is vibrating at a fever pitch, but it isn’t being felt the same way by everyone. In Episode 3 of Colorful Pricks, we’re stepping out of the "vanilla" comfort zone to examine the invisible architecture of our lives. We explore the "fix-it reflex"—that inherited generational habit that tells us to resolve tension quickly, stay small, and disengage the moment a conversation gets too heavy or "gross."

We center this episode on a true story of a man whose life reveals a historical pattern of power that stretches directly into the headlines of 2026. We’re diving into the uncomfortable reality of privilege, not as a moral judgment or an accusation, but as a description of a system that protects some by default while pressing on others first.

Justin Nordine pulls back the curtain on his own journey of awareness, sharing a raw comparison between his experience as a white male with tattoos—an image he can choose to cover—and the reality for those who don't have the luxury of "blending in" when the world gets loud. This episode is a challenge to stop making ourselves small and to start using critical thinking to see the pattern for what it really is.

The problem isn't feeling uncomfortable. The problem is what we do next. It’s time to notice the space you’re standing in.