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CPTB is a conversational, funny, and thoughtful take on this week's Bible readings — for preachers, church leaders, deconstructors, and curious listeners who still love scripture, even when they're not sure what to do with it. We explore the text with humor and theological depth, without certainty, outrage, or easy answers.

It's Pentecost. Jesus shows up through locked doors, breathes on his terrified disciples, and says: receive the Holy Spirit. As the Father sent me, so I send you.

Which is either the best news you've ever heard — or a sentence that should make you very nervous, given what just happened to the one who was sent.

Trevor Austin (@trevoraustincomedy) returns and brings along pod first-timer Ronnie Fleming (@ron_flem) to join Pastors Bob and Eric in wrestling with the birthday of the church, the weirdness of the breathing, and what it actually means to be sent somewhere you didn't ask to go.

Expect:

• A former altar boy and a recovering evangelical walk into a podcast
• Why you don't want to be taken in the rapture — you want to be left
• The Holy Spirit as airborne contagion, patient zero, and pneumatic event
• Jesus showing up like Kurt Russell in Tombstone: wounded, unbothered, armed with peace
• Why Martin Luther wanted to light the book of James on fire
• The word "inspiration" and what it actually means

Also featuring: a filing cabinet full of end-times literature, a proverbs fortune cookie business venture that may or may not be insider trading, Bob talking out of his ass, and the Bible in 90 days vs. the Bible on the toilet.

"You underestimate my commitment to a bit, Bob." — Pastor Eric Damon, on martyrdom

John 20:19–23 (NRSVue)

When it was evening on that day, the first day of the week, and the doors were locked where the disciples were, for fear of the Jews, Jesus came and stood among them and said, "Peace be with you." After he said this, he showed them his hands and his side. Then the disciples rejoiced when they saw the Lord. Jesus said to them again, "Peace be with you. As the Father has sent me, so I send you." When he had said this, he breathed on them and said to them, "Receive the Holy Spirit. If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven them; if you retain the sins of any, they are retained."

Hosted by Pastor Eric Damon and Pastor Bob Schaefer.

Join the community!
Email us at cptbpod@gmail.com.
Find us at @cptbpod on most social media platforms.
More at linktr.ee/cptbpod

Music: Trickster by Phat Sounds
Free download: https://filmmusic.io/song/10864-trickster
Licensed under CC BY 4.0: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license

Scripture quotations are taken from the New Revised Standard Version Updated Edition. Copyright © 2021 National Council of Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

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Comedians with Pastors Talking Bible is the show where Pittsburgh stand-up comedians and ELCA pastors sit down with the week's gospel text — and see what happens when nobody's too precious about it.

This week Abby Evans (@itsabbye) and Erick Williams (@comicaledubs) return as Resident Comic Theologians for a Short Take on John 17:1-11, the High Priestly Prayer — Jesus's long, looping, recursive prayer on the last night before the crucifixion. It's the 7th Sunday of Easter, the church where CPTB records is being sold to a Sheetz developer, and Jesus is praying in circles. Which, it turns out, might be the most honest thing anyone's ever done.

Expect:

• Why the Trinity doesn't work on a logical level, and why that might actually be the point
• The High Priestly Prayer as Jesus's big showstopper — his "Defying Gravity," the number where the lights dim down
• A religion founded on the Big Lebowski, and why the cross ties the whole place together
• Abby's assembled crack legal team (Brittany, Alexis, Rebecca Canterbury, James J. Hamilton — different specialties, all bases covered)
• Whether Hamlet is the Lion King or the Lion King is Hamlet — Abby rules, decisively
• The theological case that old church buildings are just holding cells for Spirit Halloween

"Jesus is proof that sometimes you have to trust your friends even when they're talking in a way that's really annoying." — Erick Williams

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Luke 24:44–53 (NRSVue)

[44] Then he said to them, “These are my words that I spoke to you while I was still with you—that everything written about me in the law of Moses, the prophets, and the psalms must be fulfilled.” [45] Then he opened their minds to understand the scriptures, [46] and he said to them, “Thus it is written, that the Messiah is to suffer and to rise from the dead on the third day [47] and that repentance and forgiveness of sins is to be proclaimed in his name to all nations, beginning from Jerusalem. [48] You are witnesses of these things. [49] And see, I am sending upon you what my Father promised, so stay here in the city until you have been clothed with power from on high.” [50] Then he led them out as far as Bethany, and, lifting up his hands, he blessed them. [51] While he was blessing them, he withdrew from them and was carried up into heaven. [52] And they worshiped him and returned to Jerusalem with great joy, [53] and they were continually in the temple blessing God.

Hosted by Pastor Eric Damon and Pastor Bob Schaefer.

Join the community!
Email us at cptbpod@gmail.com.
Find us at @cptbpod on most social media platforms.
More at linktr.ee/cptbpod

Music: Trickster by Phat Sounds
Free download: https://filmmusic.io/song/10864-trickster
Licensed under CC BY 4.0: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license

Scripture quotations are taken from the New Revised Standard Version Updated Edition. Copyright © 2021 National Council of Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

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A note to our audience: We're taking a week off from our normal mix of comedy and Bible study. We'll jump back into the readings next week. In the meanwhile, we're pleased to present...

CPTB Special: Library After Dark Comedy Showcase (Part 1)

A pastor walks into a library and tells jokes. The books didn't leave.

This special episode takes you inside the room for Library After Dark, CPTB's debut comedy showcase at the Monroeville Public Library — an evening of standup that felt right at home among the stacks.

• Co-host Pastor Eric Damon steps out from behind the podcast mic and into the spotlight, opening the show with a 3am gas station story that only works if you're wearing a clerical collar
• Abby Evans follows with a set about books, birthdays, Mary Shelley, teaching special ed, and what it feels like when your students think you personally witnessed the 1900s

"I'm the 1900s that watched Rugrats Take Paris on an orange VHS tape." — Abby Evans

More sets from the Library After Dark showcase are coming. The full show — including headliner Georgia Wartler — will be released as a complete special.

Hosted by Pastor Eric Damon and Pastor Bob Schaefer.

Join the community!
Email us at cptbpod@gmail.com.
Find us at @cptbpod on most social media platforms.
More at linktr.ee/cptbpod

Music: Trickster by Phat Sounds
Free download: https://filmmusic.io/song/10864-trickster
Licensed under CC BY 4.0: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license

Scripture quotations are taken from the New Revised Standard Version Updated Edition. Copyright © 2021 National Council of Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.