If you've been through a miscarriage or pregnancy loss, you may have heard yourself say "I know I should be over it by now." I hear this so often from women in my clinic, and it breaks my heart every time.

Pregnancy loss is far more common than most people realise. Yet the grief that comes with it is often misunderstood, sometimes even by the people closest to you. That can leave you feeling very alone.

In this episode I sit down with Narelle Dickinson, reproductive psychologist, fertility counsellor and director of Lotus Health and Psychology in Brisbane. Narelle has more than 30 years of experience supporting women and couples through loss. We talk about what grief after pregnancy loss really looks like and why you never need to be "over it." She also shares gentle, practical ways to care for yourself, your relationship and your heart, including if you go on to fall pregnant again.

If this conversation brings up feelings you've been holding together, that's okay. Please take it at your own pace.

In this episode, you'll hear:

• [01:10] Why pregnancy loss is "disenfranchised grief": the loss is under-acknowledged, and you're grieving a whole lifetime of imagined moments, not just a pregnancy.
• [04:14] Acknowledging rather than accepting: why Narelle prefers to talk about acknowledging a loss and finding a way to keep living.
• [05:58] The first days and weeks: getting through the shock, letting your body recover, and why the urgent "what next?" can wait.
• [08:41] Taking the "shoulds" off yourself: whether the pregnancy was planned or a surprise, and whether it lasted six months or six minutes, the loss is real.
• [10:06] Going back to work: how a trusted colleague can act as your "gatekeeper", and how to let people know what you do and don't want to talk about.
• [13:32] When people say the wrong thing: handling the "at least" comments, and how to validate your own grief.
• [15:31] When partners grieve differently: why the non-carrying partner may seem to "recover" faster, and why being "her rock" isn't always what she needs.
• [18:41] Guilt, shame and "what did I do wrong?": why loss is so rarely caused by anything you did, and why embryo health involves both partners equally.
• [20:41] Social media, the algorithm and Dr Google: the one time Narelle says a little avoidance is healthy.
• [24:43] Pausing before your next step: why taking time to stop and process means moving forward, not backward.
• [26:34] Due dates, anniversaries and milestones: why the lead-up is often harder than the day, and why you might need to ask for the support you want.
• [29:48] Honouring your baby: a patient's memorial garden, candles, stars, and including your children in the family story.
• [36:27] Pregnancy after loss: the anxiety, delayed attachment, the psychology strategy of "chunking", and why constant reassurance-seeking can backfire.
• [41:00] Allowing yourself to hope: why protecting your heart from hope doesn't protect you from hurt.

Key takeaways

• There's no timeline on grief. It ebbs and flows, and that doesn't mean you're doing it wrong.
• Let people love you the way they know how. If they can't sit with you while you cry but they'll cook you dinner, let them.
• Ask for what you need. Loved ones may forget a due date or anniversary not because they don't care, but because they didn't carry the baby in their body.
• Protect yourself from re-traumatising content. Mute, block or step away from social media and forums for a while.
• Take it chunk by chunk. In a pregnancy after loss, focus on the next week, scan or appointment, not the whole nine months.
• You don't have to do this alone. Support from a psychologist or counsellor can make a real difference.

You can reach out to Narelle at Lotus Health and Psychology

If you've been told you have PCOS and left the appointment with more questions than answers, or been told Letrozole or IVF if you only option, then this episode is for you.

I sit down with Dr Michelle Smith, a Chinese medicine practitioner and acupuncturist who has spent years helping women navigate fertility — but her expertise didn't start in the clinic. It started with her own diagnosis of PCOS, now renamed PMOS (Polyendocrine Metabolic Ovarian Syndrome).

Michelle and I bring both lived experience and clinical experience to this conversation, and together we unpack why PCOS is being renamed PMOS and what that name change actually means for you. It's not just semantics. It reflects a deeper understanding of the metabolic drivers behind this condition, and it opens the door to treatment approaches that go far beyond "just lose weight" or "take letrozole."

I've had patients spend years chasing ovary or ovulation fixes when the real driver was insulin resistance nobody had properly addressed. That's not a small oversight. That's years of trying, without the right map.

We talk through the hormonal and metabolic intricacies of PMOS, how insulin resistance shows up in ovulation and egg quality as well as the impact of acupuncture and what those needles are actually doing at a physiological level to support your cycle. As Michelle puts it, "Each time I'm putting an acupuncture needle into one of my patients, I'm sending a message to their brain of how I want blood to flow throughout the body." She's clear that this isn't about chasing more follicles or more hormones, it’s about releasing blockages to help your body work more effectively.

We also share pieces of our own stories with this condition, because if you're sitting with a PMOS diagnosis wondering what it means for your chances of becoming a mum, we want you to hear this, a diagnosis does not mean you can’t get pregnant! I personally have two beautiful children and together Michelle and I have helped many, many more women with PMOS, create their families too.

PMOS brings its own set of fertility challenges, but combining acupuncture, nutrition, and lifestyle support gives your body the best possible conditions for conceiving and sustaining a healthy pregnancy, often without needing to lean on IVF or fertility medications at all. We also touch on how to support your body through an IVF cycle with PMOS if that’s your path.

A PMOS diagnosis isn't the end of the conversation for your fertility. It's the start of a more informed and empowered one.

Mentioned in this episode:

Ultimate Egg Quality Guide

If you've been told your results are "fine" and you still don't have your baby, this episode is for you.

Chris and Feurlys had been through miscarriage. They'd been through failed IVF cycles. They'd done everything they'd been asked to do, and they still didn't have an answer.

Until we took at deeper look at Chris's results..

That change in focus, changed the entire direction of their journey.

In this raw conversation Chris and Feurlys talk openly about what those years actually felt like. The grief, the cost, the exhaustion the frustration.

Chris honestly shares what it was like to hear the news that his sperm health wasn’t as good as he thought. How confronting it was. How it reshaped how he viewed his role in their fertility challenges. And how by making proactive changes, it changed everything for them.

He's also very clear about what he wants other men to know.

We talk about why male fertility is still so routinely left out of the conversation. And we talk about what Chris changed, why those changes matter, and what happened next.

Because men are 50% of the story. They need to be involved in the journey.

Chris and Feurlys are expecting their first baby (well they’ve actually now had their beautiful little girl! 🩷)

What we cover

• Getting tested early — and properly. Why a semen analysis belongs at the start of your investigations, and how to advocate for yourself.
• Why male fertility is so often overlooked. Chris's results were significant, and they'd gone unexamined. His improvements with targeted diet, lifestyle and supplement changes were dramatic.
• "Fine" isn't the same as optimal. Why there is more to the picture than standard reference ranges
• There is no one-size-fits-all protocol. Individualised support genuinely changes outcomes. Why the same plan doesn't work for every couple.
• The emotional weight of all of this. Feurlys and Chris are honest about what it did to them, and how they leaned on each other and on family to get through.
• Knowledge really is power. Why asking questions and seeking a second opinion isn't being difficult — it's being proactive.

About the Guests

Chris and Felice Richards are a Melbourne couple who spent years in the place so many of you may be sitting right now. Miscarriages, failed IVF cycles and no clear answer as to why it wasn’t working for them.

They've since shared their story with the Herald Sun and in the News Corp documentary Fertility Unpacked. But what you'll hear in this episode is the part that changed everything for them and what they want you to know.