Matt and Graham delve into the "no apprenticeship" model of relationships in this episode.

We repeat what we see modelled to us in our own childhood homes. Often, that's two people trying their best to stay together without the skills to make a relationship flourish: conflict resolution, active listening, asking for what you want without whining or retreating into contempt and silence.

We don't learn decent relationship skills at school, either. Any relationship education is fostered on helpful, but limited, skills - empathy and trust, for example. Great for friendships and not making enemies in the workplace, but maybe less helpful for romantic relationships and marriages.

And then there's the culture at large - emphasising unhelpful myths about The One and the romantic dash to the airport. Great for the first few months of lust. Less great for long-term love.

So, what do we do if we haven't had a decent relationship apprenticeship? What if we're stuck with insecure attachment? How can we make love last?

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Nearly one in two marriages don't work out. The failure rate for second marriages is, surprisingly, even higher. We don't learn the lessons we need to learn; we repeat the same mistakes; choose the same, wrong partners.

What can we learn from those failed relationships that can help us learn to make better decisions, and be better partners, so that we can avoid having to call the divorce lawyer next January...?

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Matt's sceptical about New Year's Resolutions: fluffy, too broad, unrealistic. Graham thinks New Year is the perfect time to have a good think about self-improvement, self-reflection - including in our relationships.

Who's right? You decide!

Happy new year to all our listeners!

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