"In a hovel in Berlin above a bank of trash bins, there lived two podcasters. The apartment wasn't a damp, rundown "altbau" filled with unemployed DJs from Spain, nor was it a charmless over-designed architectural nightmare for tech bros and their adaptogen meal replacements: it was a Millennial Spinster hovel, and that means comfort."

(Why yes, one of the Spinsters adapted the first lines of The Hobbit for this description. Thanks for noticing!)

In all seriousness, the first Hobbit movie is a real cinematic disaster. The film follows Bilbo as he gets gaslit and bullied into going on an adventure to help get his future boyfriend's "throne under the mountain" back from a literal actual dragon.

Along the way, the tone continuously shifts from goofy to bone-crushing, slamming the audience from one extreme to another like an emotional ping pong ball throughout the 2 hour and 40 minute runtime. Watching it is a nauseating experience and oh my GOD has there ever been any movie with more exposition (visual or otherwise)??

The only respite seems to be the rugged beauty of the king dwarf, Thorin Oakenshield (aka daddy, aka daddy dwarf, aka Daddy Dwarf I'd Like to F#$k, aka DDILF).

Or you can keep yourself going by enjoying the delicate features of the only dwarf in the cast with cute bangs and literally zero dwarfish facial or puffy hand prosthetics who ends up being in the world's worst love triangle in the next 2 movies. Whatever floats your boat.

[Also spoilers, but the Spinsters will be watching ALL the Hobbit movies back to back to back in the coming weeks because they make terrible choices and feel like changing the rules they never established for this podcast. Hope you stay tuned for part 2 and 3 in the next weeks or else none of this will have been worth it :D Enjoy! ]

As with all our episodes, you don't need to watch the movie to understand or enjoy this episode. But if you do end up watching, please don't hold it against us.

Don't miss an episode! Follow us on:

Facebook @Cultural Waste Management Podcast

Instagram @CulturalWastePod

Twitter @CulturalWaste

And if you really like us, you're absolutely welcome to rate and review on Apple Podcasts so other weirdos can join in on the trash collection

Hey, friends. It's been a while, but the pod is back after a very unplanned hiatus! The Spinsters have moved on up to a new apartment (ironically, to one that has a view of an entire bank of trash recepticals) but before they left the room where this podcast started, they recorded one last episode like 2 days before their move and boy oh boy is it chaotic! And full of snakes!

That's right, this week's episode is the first Anaconda film from 1997. This one follows the angelic baby-faced Jenifer Lopez as she tries to make a... documentary? About an indigenous tribe? But then John Voigt and some big ol' goofy "anaconda" snakes and Jon Voight faces happen? Who knows, really. Plot doesn't seem to be a main motivation for this movie (unlike SNAKES and WEIRD JON VOIGHT FACES).

Our recommendation: grab some snaks and strap in for some ridiculous snek content.

As with all our episodes, you don't need to watch the movie to understand or enjoy this episode. But if you do end up watching, please don't hold it against us.

Don't miss an episode! Follow us on:

Facebook @Cultural Waste Management Podcast

Instagram @CulturalWastePod

Twitter @CulturalWaste

And if you really like us, you're absolutely welcome to rate and review on Apple Podcasts so other weirdos can join in on the trash collection

It's minisode time, y'all! This week the Millennial Spinsters are dishing you out just a smol taste of content because they're moving and stressed the fuck out this week.

While this episode may be mini, it really delivers on the cuckoo bananas content you've come to expect from the Spinsters.

Highlight include:

• A Spinster's first taste of US American commercials for medications
• Paint-by-numbers apps for ADD

Though to be honest, the star of the show here is really the new pod-within-a-pod: The Breakdown. It's a special segment wherein the Spinsters discuss celebrities they think they could physically and/or mentally destroy and how (don't worry they're both TOTALLY FINE AND NORMAL PEOPLE WITH NO INTIMACY AND/OR TRUST ISSUES AT ALL :D).

The first round of victims are:

• Domhnall Gleeson
• Paul Rust (the guy from Love whose name they forgot)
• Jay Baruchel
• Seth Rogan
• James Franco
• Jason Segal
• Owen Wilson
• Tom Cruise

Don't miss an episode when we get time to make them again! Follow us on:

Facebook @Cultural Waste Management Podcast

Instagram @CulturalWastePod

Twitter @CulturalWaste

Or send an email to CulturalWasteManagementPod@gmail.com

And if you really like us, you're absolutely welcome to rate and review on Apple Podcasts so other weirdos can join in on the trash collection

CHEE CHOO KOO CHOO CHURRR CHUR chur. Do you know what that is? That's the sound of the Millennial Spinsters TRANSFORMING into two people that watched Michael Bay's 2007 "movie" Transformers.

What a strange viewing experience Transformers provides. As the "protagonist" Sam Witwicky discovers the world of Autobots and Decepticons, viewers are taken on a strange trip full of NO's, US military propaganda, and just so many minutes filled with difficult to watch robot-on-robot action ;)

The Spinsters being who they are, they drank nearly an entire bottle of whisky while watching this one because... how else were they supposed to make it all the way through the 2+ hour runtime?

Needless to say, things get messy and w e i r d in this episode (in a fun way).

Features, not bugs, of this episode include:

• Much debate and a live Whatsapp poll re: is Bumblebee, the Autobot, handsome?
• The US military sucks, yo!
• Shia LaBeouf is an annoying, abusive prick
• Megan Fox. That's it. That's the bullet point.
• OK BUT WHAT'S THE ACTUAL DEAL WITH THE ALLSPARK AND WHY DOES IT FEEL POTENTIALLY RACIST?

As with all our episodes, you don't need to watch the movie to understand or enjoy this episode. But if you do end up watching, please don't hold it against us.

Don't miss an episode! Follow us on:

Facebook @Cultural Waste Management Podcast

Instagram @CulturalWastePod

Twitter @CulturalWaste

And if you really like us, you're absolutely welcome to rate and review on Apple Podcasts so other weirdos can join in on the trash collection

KISS ME, I'M A SPINSTER! It's St. Patrick's Day, y'all! Your hosts are celebrating this holiday they know nothing about in probably the most problematic way possible: by watching the 1993 tongue-in-cheek horror that launched a thousand sequels, Leprechaun!

Okay, so it's true these two things aren't completely related, but like... how many movie series can you think of that are focused on St. Patrick's Day? Your spinsters are doing the best they can here, people.

Anyway, this is is a weird movie. It follows an apparently 17-year-old Jennifer Aniston who is sent to some vague location that weirdly looks exactly like the hills outside LA to spend time with her pointless father. Along the way, we discover the previous owner of the dad's new house stole gold from the titular leprechaun and then trapped the leprechaun in a crate in his basement before he got shipped off to some care home for preditors of magical beings or something? Basically, hijinks (and murder) ensue after the leprechaun is released from said crate. The leprechaun terrorizes the wacky gang of protagonists as they refuse to give the leprechaun his goddamn gold back.

This episode heavily features:

• Real bad Irish accents (on the part of the Spinsters AND the wonderful Warwick Davis)
• Fairy vs. leprechaun vs. cobbler elf vs. troll
• Plot holes
• Jennifer Aniston and how cute she was in 1993
• 90s Fashion
• I WANT ME GOLD!
• JAYSUHS!

As with all our episodes, you don't need to watch the movie to understand or enjoy this episode. But if you do end up watching, please don't hold it against this podcast.

Don't miss an episode! Follow us on:

Facebook @Cultural Waste Management Podcast

Instagram @CulturalWastePod

Twitter @CulturalWaste

The intro and outro music is the track 'How Now Brown Cow' by Technoaxe. Check out their YouTube channel or website for all your royalty-free music needs.

The elevator music used during the podcast is 'Local Forecast' by Kevin MacLeod.

Hey, listener. Yeah, we’re talkin’ directly to you this time as we process the cultural waste that is 2016’s Deadpool.

Honestly, the gory, irreverent “gags” in this movie left us, your Millennial Spinsters, scratching our heads... AND BUTTS! YEAH JOKES! ABOUT BODIES! HAHAH!

Oh, listener. I treasure the time we spend together

The spreadsheet gods have blessed the Millennial Spinsters this week and ordained the viewing of the truly good and great Sharknado.

As the SyFy channel's first foray into theatrical releases (I guess), Sharknado really delivers on everything you could want.

• 90s TV stars? CHECK
• Just the worst CGI? CHECK
• Stereotypical murder sharks who are unkillable until they explode from the smallest injury? CHECK
• Unfathomable meteorological events? DOUBLE CHECK

Basically, it's Birdemic, but with $6 more to the budget and it's about sharks. What's not to love? We hope you enjoy sharking the jump with us this week

Sacré bleu!! This week the Millennial Spinsters come together in a tête-à-tête to watch the avant-garde comedy Pink Panther (2006).

As an awful homage to the 60s franchise with Peter Sellers, Steve Martin takes up the mantle of the bon vivant detective Jacques Clouseau -or however the fuck you spell it. Being that this is a movie from the mid-naughties/00s, of course Beyonce Knowles is the femme fatale and supposed love interest which is just a wild choice from everyone involved.

This film's entire raison d’être seems to be to disappoint your hosts. From gauche visual comedy to déclassé jokes this movie manages to extinguish all joie de vivre in its mercifully short 1 hour 30 minute runtime.

The one bright spot in the sea of cinematic faux pas is this one "I would like to buy a hamburger" scene which you can watch and enjoy on YouTube.

As with all our episodes, you don't need to watch the movie to understand or enjoy this episode. But if you do end up watching, please don't hold it against this podcast.

Don't miss an episode! Follow us on:

Facebook @Cultural Waste Management Podcast

Instagram @CulturalWastePod

Twitter @CulturalWaste

The intro and outro music is the track 'How Now Brown Cow' by Technoaxe. Check out their YouTube channel or website for all your royalty-free music needs.