In the days before readily available GPS navigation on our cell phones, I told my kids we’d be taking a quick run to the post office in our new town. A glance at the map told me the address was directly at the center of a spaghetti-bowl of hilly one-way streets. I was a veteran big city driver and figured the small suburban downtown area wouldn’t be a major challenge.

After more than a half hour of driving in circles around that up-and-down tangle of streets, stopping to ask for directions twice, I gave up and returned home. I never found the post office that day, though later I discovered I’d driven by it several times.

I relied on my earlier experience as a city driver to help me navigate my strange new location. That experience actually got in the way of me being able to make sense of what my eyes were seeing that day. I was so disoriented that after a while, I forgot what I was searching for.

Understandably, we’re prone to rely on our previous experience to navigate change in our lives. While that previous experience may be of value, it can also hinder us from being able to assess and respond to what is happening right now. We need a guide who knows the terrain, especially when it is uncharted territory for us.

“My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me. ” John 10:27 ESV

In John 10, Jesus told his followers that there would be unhelpful or destructive people presenting themselves as caring guides who would lead them astray. He urged his followers to learn to listen to his voice. We can do that by engaging in regular Bible reading so we can learn to discern who God is and what he says, and by simple, conversational prayer. He will guide us step by step, even when it seems as though we are traveling without a map.

Prayer: Good Shepherd Jesus, I am disoriented by this strange new place in which I find myself. Please protect me from the other voices who are not guiding me in the way I should travel. Please help me hear your voice clearly and follow you faithfully.

When I was fired from a job I’d fought hard to keep, a friend reminded me that I should be prepared for grief to present itself as I processed the loss. And she was right. I spent some time telling myself it was all for the best. I found myself dealing with eruptions of frustration and anger as I replayed months of difficult inter-office politics where it seemed I lost too many hyper-political interoffice skirmishes with a difficult coworker. I grew depressed, and days of initial shock became weeks blanketed by a wooly, gray emotional fog. The rejections I received as I dutifully searched for a new job amplified my sadness.

While a job loss might be an easily-identifiable source of grief, I have discovered that every change – even a welcome one – carries with it some form of grief. For example, when a young adult child marries, you may love the partner they’ve chosen, and be overjoyed about the new family they’re forming, but find yourself unexpectedly aching with nostalgia as you come to terms with the reality that you’ve come to the end of an era in your family’s story.

For more than 10 years, I have walked alongside many who are moving into midlife. Many are caught off guard by the endings that often come at this time of life – empty nest, career shifts, changes in family life and status. It has been a privilege to help others recognize that our souls process change in much the same way we experience grief.

“ Though he slay me, I will hope in him; yet I will argue my ways to his face.” Job 13:15 ESV

When Job dealt with a breathtaking pile-up of loss, his confession of hope in God contained a frank acknowledgement that he was actively grieving all the ways his life had changed.

Reflect today on how changes you’ve experienced recently have elicited some form of grief response in your soul. These responses can include denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.

Prayer: Unchanging Father, as I navigate this time of transition in my life, I am grieving a past I can not reclaim. Kindle within me a spark of hope as I continue to process these changes. I ask this in the name of your always faithful Son, Jesus.

“I’m so sorry to hear about your cancer diagnosis. How are you holding up?” I was grateful to have a moment of conversation with Tonya, a popular leader at church.

Tonya smiled a 1000-watt smile. “Praise the Lord! God is good!” She then told me about how she’d had an opportunity to share her faith with a radiologist tech at the hospital earlier that week.

I’d recently received a different, serious medical diagnosis, and had not responded with a 1000-watt smile like Tonya had. Frankly, I didn’t feel amazing. I’d logged some long, sleepless nights wrestling with God about what my future held and walked away from the conversation with Tonya wondering if there was something deficient in my faith.

While each of us responds to bad news differently, God is not looking for a spiritual performance from any of us. This is the antithesis of what God already knows is true about us. 2 Samuel 11-12 details King David’s sin against God, Bathsheba, her husband Uriah, and his people. Psalm 51 captures his prayer of confession. It also offers us a reminder that to stay connected to God in relationship, He requires complete honesty from us.

“Behold, you delight in truth in the inward being, and you teach me wisdom in the secret heart.” Psalm 51:6 ESV

These words were spoken in the context of confession of sin, but they apply just as powerfully to every aspect of our lives.

When we face the challenge of unwelcome change in the form of a scary diagnosis, a lost job, broken relationship, or anything that sends our lives in a difficult new direction, it takes real faith to tell the truth. If you are brimming with trust, rest in that confidence. And if you are shaken and shaky, offer yourself just as you are to God, and know that the truth is all he asks of you in that moment – and every moment.

Prayer: Lord, in this time of challenge in my life, I am disoriented and afraid. And by speaking that truth to you about myself, I recognize that I am taking a step toward learning to trust you as I am now in this difficult place. Please help me to grow in that trust, I pray, in the name of the One who made me and knows me better than I know myself.