In this episode of Family Systems in 15 Minutes, I’m looking at one of the sneakiest structural problems in family therapy: what happens when parents stop being in charge.

In family therapy, the authority issues are usually much harder to spot. They show up as “communication problems,” school refusal, anxiety, conflict, curfew debates, or one parent being “too harsh” while the other becomes “the protector.”

Using de-identified consultation material, I walk through three signs that the real issue may be structural: repeated conflict between parent and child, coalitions that cross generational boundaries, and hidden alliances that keep the whole system stuck.

I also share a practical intervention I call the proposal method, which helps reduce haggling, strengthen the parental subsystem, and put parents back in a united leadership position.

For therapists, psychologists, and anyone who enjoys family systems theory with a tiny bit of sarcasm and a cold, frozen English heart.

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For therapists, psychologists, and anyone who enjoys family systems theory with a tiny bit of sarcasm and a cold, frozen English heart.

Reframes in family systems therapy are one of the most powerful tools a therapist can use — and one of the least explicitly taught. In this video I break down FRAME, a five-step framework for formulating and delivering reframes that actually land, using a single family case study from first session to intervention.Whether you're new to family therapy or looking to sharpen your structural family therapy techniques, this exercise will change how you think about the identified patient — and what family counseling techniques can do when the whole system is in the room.I send a weekly email with family systems case studies, techniques, and tools — it's totally free, click here to sign up https://www.mypeoplepatterns.com/newsletters/family-systems-h-i-t-newsletter/subscribeWe cover how to move from individual to relational framing (a cornerstone of Salvador Minuchin's structural family therapy), how to find the function of a symptom, and why tentative language is the difference between a reframe that opens a family up and one that closes them down.If you work in marriage and family therapy, family systems therapy, or any relational therapy context, this is for you.

and for more Structural Family Therapy Training Online click here

This week I get into circular questioning, the approach I reach for most when I want a family to stop handing out blame and start noticing the pattern they're all standing inside.

I sort it into five types, something I wish someone had laid out for me years earlier, and I talk through the one thing that separates a question that moves a family from one that only sounds clever. Oh and I include lots of examples of circular questions too.

It holds up just as well in couples and individual work, which is half of why I find it so useful. Have a listen, and tell me if you want the running list of questions I still bring into sessions. Some of my other family therapy worksheets PDFS here

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Read more about my practice here: ⁠⁠www.OliverDrakefordTherapy.com ⁠⁠