Guidelines on Bringing Up Children - Notes taken during Church while Dr. John Bisango preached on the subject of Bringing Up Children.

LEADERSHIP – Part 6 of 6 - Emotional Intelligence

Good morning this is Stephen J. Blakesley, CEO of GMS TALENT LP with our last and final part of the six part series on Leadership. Please remember that we are talking about attributes that enhance you and your leadership skills. The six parts are Presence,Visioning, Communication,Motivation,Crediting and today- Emotional Intelligence. 

Emotional Intelligence applies to both talking and listening, two key skills for leaders in all positions. The more you have the these two, the better leader you will likely be. 

Emotional Intelligence (EI) is a relatively new term in the Business Skills category. It was first introduced by two gentlemen in 1989 and has since grown in importance as research and application has progressed. The early alert is that Emotional Intelligence is a learned skill and so if you have it you can get better and if you don’t have it you can get it.  How cool is that?

So, let’s talk about the five parts of EI in the simplest of terms: Self-Awareness, Self-Management, Motivation, Social-Awareness, and Social-Management. Each of these 5 parts we have talked about in previous podcasts of Tell Me How. So today we are just going to talk about why Leaders need EI to be The Best. For a leader to be Emotionally healthy he/she has to be aware of what EI is and how to grow. 

It all begins with knowing what emotions are: emotions are chemical reactions that occur in the brain that cause physiological reactions by the body. Let’s use that definition for our purposes today. So, it would seem that apart, from defining the words, one would need to know what emotions they are experiencing. The big ones and the little ones as well. Maybe, journaling for just a few weeks, you could log the emotions you are experiencing and what the cause of those emotions might be or from where they may have come. Like, coming from the emotion of anger, or happiness, or disgust or fear. What caused the emotions you are feeling now?- write in your journal just some cryptic notation so you will know or, at least, be on your toes when the next event comes along. Possibly you will be able to better manage the emotion when it presents itself, the next time. Journaling your emotions and their causes might be a good way to begin the process of growing your Emotional Intelligence. Just being aware of the events that have emotional influence on your body and the reaction you use to address them is a good beginning. Knowing how you are likely to react, in a given environment, is a good thing and called Self-Awareness. 

Self-Awareness, incidentally, is thought to be the single most deficient of the five aspects of Emotional Intelligence. 

Next, finding how to manage yourself (Self-Management) to always present the right image is a good thing but learning how to manage yourself to achieve the right objective is even better . That is usually the goal-to be a positive influence in moving your group toward a given objective. Being aware, then learning how to manage your own emotions is doing just that - being a leader whether you are the leader of not. Learning to manage your emotion is at the top of the list of things needed to be done to get the attention of others.   

Learning to control your emotions and have them work for you instead of against you is always a positive thing. Control of emotion is always a plus. Knowing and controlling is the beginning to Emotional Intelligence.

Using emotions to Motivate yourself is not so unique. How do you do that? Well, using emotion to motivate is not new. In fact, it as been the key to Self-Motivation for sometime. For instance, how could you use FEAR to motivate yourself

This is Stephen J. Blakeseley, with GMS Talent LP,  607 N. Magnolia St. Tomball, TX, 77375, Good Morning! In the past we have been talking about Leading or Leadership and we are going to continue today. Remember the 6 essential attributes accredited to the Top Leaders of the day are: PRESENCE, VISIONING, COMMUNICATION, MOTIVATION, CREDITING and EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE!

Today’s topic is Crediting. Something that many have trouble with and especially leaders or those in leadership roles. I don’t know exactly why, but there is often a gap in this ever-so-important area. So lets spend just a little extra time on Part 5 – CREDITING.

First, what does it mean? Crediting means giving credit (praise, accolades, and recognition) where it is needed and sometime where it isn’t.  Giving credit in public and private. There can never be too much praise and recognition. 

Public praise doesn’t seem too difficult but private praise is often over-looked. I forget who did the research but PRIVATE praise is valued more than PUBLIC praise.  So, What’s the difference? Most of you know or at least have a good idea but just in case, let me give you my thoughts.

Well, Private praise, is valued greatly because it is a One-on-One recognition of a special effort, or a Thank you for the great job you have done and will likely do again. Seemingly more real than Public praise, at least in my view. Private praise seems more serious than does the Public version. Likely both, would not be a bad idea.

People enjoy being singled out for doing a good job and some Public recognition is never a bad thing but Private is, or at least it seems so, is more personal, intense and direct. So, don’t let a day go by that you do not show at least one or the other. Just remember that both are best but Private is likely to be more meaningful to the recipient. 

Remember, wanting to be a leader does require work and people are not born with natural leadership skills. Work at developing these SIX attributes and your leadership skills will steadily improve and your leadership skills will get progressively better. So, if you are not a leader, today, but want to be one-here is the process:  

1.    Find someone to give credit to. (should not be too difficult)

2.    Give both private and public praise.

3.    Tell everyone why the effort was so great.

4.    Thank them for the significant contribution.

Does it take time? Sure! Do you have to work at it? Absolutely! Some more that others, but most can develop these 5 attributes in a reasonable period. They can and will become better leaders in a lessor period of time or at least improve some of their their already developed LEADERSHIP skills. 

If you desire to contact us here is the info you will need-Stephen J. Blakesley, GMS Talent LP, 607 N. Magnolia St. Tomball, TX. 77375, 281-687-9255 or sjb@gmstalent.com

Good Morning, this is Stephen J. Blakesley, CEO of GMS Talent L.P. and 

We are talking about LEADERSHIP, and in particular, Self-Motivation, today. This is part 4  of the 6-part instruction on Leadership and some of the attributes of strong leadership (taken from the book The Leading Man, by Stephen J. Blakesley).

Few, if any of us, are blessed with constant motivation. So, on occasion, one needs to be able to motivate themselves. The steps involved with self-motivation are, as one might think, very important but pretty simple. 

Steps involved in Self-Motivation:

·      Where do you want to go?

·      Why do you want to go there?

·      How will you benefit from getting there?

·      What will the benefits do for you?

  Let’s take them one at a time. Where do you want to go?  Knowing where you want to go can present some real challenges, like; will I live long-enough to see us reach the goal?, or is this really achievable, at all?, or possibly even, I have been there before why do I want to do this again?. All are legitimate obstacles that may present themselves all at once or possibly just one or two at a time and there are many others that one might encounter. In any event they need to be addressed. 

You would be surprised how many people do not know where they are going and wherever they land they are Okay with it. It is my belief that a definitive place, however, is much better than just any place. If you can picture a place of arrival you can picture some of the benefits of getting there and even what those benefits might do for you. 

Even if the destination is too short, too big or even too small, it is better to achieve something rather than nothing at all, even if the destination falls short of where you hoped to be. SO, have a destination (a specific destination) in mind. 

Know why you want to go there. If you don’t know, why would you think that someone else would want to go there. Sometimes you need to help others see the future. Sometimes the future is not as clear as one might think. And besides, it doesn’t hurt to tell people something they already know. 

The easiest of the four steps (for me, at least) of Self-Motivation is the understanding of how you will benefit from arriving. Maybe you could be wrong (heaven forbid) and there will be other benefits you did not perceive (most likely there will be) but it is important that you be able to visualize just how you will benefit from arriving. 

Possibly the last and maybe the most difficult is that of imagining how you and others would or could enjoy the benefits from achieving the goal or objective. If so, how? Help others to see how they could prosper on their way there and when they arrive. Many don’t have the imagination to picture how arrival might benefit them, help them out. Give them some pictures that only you could come up with. 

Well that is it for this session. Self-Motivation is an essential part of leadership. If you don’t know how to do it, learn. We have a whole course on Self-Motivation designed just for you.

 
 Contact Us: Stephen J. Blakesley, GMS Talent LP, 607 N. Magnolia St. Tomball, TX. 77375, 281-687-9255, sjb@gmstalent.com. 

Good morning, this is Stephen J. Blakesley, CEO of GMS Talent LP. Today we are going to focus on Communication as an attribute that is essential to leading others. An entire chapter is devoted to COMMUNICATION in the book “The Leading Man.”Should you desire to secure a “hard copy” of The Leading Man by Stephen J. Blakesley, you can do so thru Amazon by going here: https://www.amazon.com/Leading-Man-Stephen-J-Blakesley-ebook/dp/B07J69V25F/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=The+Leading+Man+%2C+Stephen+J.+Blakesley&qid=1631636666&sr=8-1 

Communication, while simple and common, is not always possessed by those in leadership roles. Have you ever had occasion to be a part of a group whose leader was not a communicator? Not much fun, huh? Communication is such a big part of leadership it could almost be the # 1 requirement. If your leader is not among those that have been blessed with communication skills, it may be left up to you to suggest, in such a way, that they do something about it. If you are a leader, it can never do any harm for you to get better at communicating. Possibly the first and maybe even the best place is Toastmasters International (toastmasters.org). You can easily look up the meeting times of a local chapter. Some, even attend Toastmaster’s meetings long after they have mastered the art of Public Speaking, just to stay fresh and up to-date. Check them out!

Here are a few attributes you may want to focus on or rate yourself as a Public Speaker:

1.    Presence – which we have talked about earlier is the beginning. If you do not have presence-get it!

2.    Say something that GETS the ATTENTION of the group. 

3.    Say what you are going to say in a rather short and compact manner.

4.    Review what you wish them to get from your time with them

5.    Ask for a commitment

Let’s just touch on each one of these 5 communication skills:

·       Presence-it all begins with physical appearance. Dress well but not audaciously. 

·       Attention-get it! Do what ever it takes to get the attention of most if not all those in attendance. 

·       Tell-tell them what it is about in a simple but exciting way.

·       Review-go over what you have told them in a casual, but meaningful manner. 

·       Involvement-ask for questions and get them involved in some way. 

Remember that people cannot or will not move forward for just anything or anybody. You have to be or do something special to gather and keep followers. Everyone wants to be treated personally. Do it!!!!

Should you wish to contact us (for any reason): Stephen J. Blakesley, CEO, GMS Talent LP, 281-687-9255, sjb@gmstalent.com.

This is Stephen J. Blakesley, with GMS Talent LP again and we are continuing our series on Leadership and offering the 2nd part-VISIONING! The Six parts are: PRESENCE, VISIONING, COMMUNICATION. MOTIVATION, CREDITING, and EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE. Today we are focusing on VISIONING.

In our book titled “THE LEADING MAN” (which, incidentally, is available on AMAZON by that very same name and by Stephen J. Blakesley as the author) we ask the question; Where Are You Going? However, in thinking about it, I think I should have gone even further and said, “Know where you are going, even if it is wrong! Truthfully, we are often, not sure where we will end but we believe it will be better than where we are today. 

Last evening I was watching TV and “the DOG SHOW” not too sure if that is the name but you know which one I mean when I mention “CEASAR” (the dog whisperer) or the guy that knows everything about dogs or at least much more than I do. He said, “the walk is most important to a dog”,  that it is important to act and speak with confidence when walking a dog, to demonstrate you know what you are thinking.  I believe the same is true when it comes to leading people. People want their leader to be VISIONARY and have confidence in the outcome if when they don’t know for sure what that looks like. 

Being VISIONARY is an essential to leadership. Have you ever heard of someone following someone who doesn’t know where they are going. Well, maybe a few times, but soon the team becomes disgruntled when finding that the leader doesn’t know, for sure. Disgruntling causes dispersion and scattering and soon you have not team.

If one, however, couples Visioning with Presence, the combination of the two become very powerful: First, you get their attention (Presence) then Second, you tell them where you want to go (Visioning). All of this begins with a plan, I would say a written plan so it can be changed if needed. 

It all begins with where you are today. You may think that you don’t need to tell your team “where they are today,” but everyone wants and needs a clear picture of where you think they are today. So, tell them (as you see it)! From where they are, beginning is possibly misconstrued more often than you might think. 

Second, tell them, How They Will Benefit from achieving the objective which is the THIRD part of VISIONING. Know with confidence where you want to go but also know Why We Want to Go There. 

FOURTH, once you show them How They Will Benefit from getting there, and this may be the most difficult part and that is Getting Their Buy-In. There is a part FIVE and SIX, but I don’t want to reveal everything, I want you to buy the book “The Leading Man,” by Stephen J. Blakesley (it costs almost nothing and you can read it in less than an hour.  

So leading a group requires, at least two attributes – Presence, and Visioning!

Next time we will be talking about the third requirement for Leadership- Communication

 Contact: Stephen J. Blakesley, CEO GMS Talent LP, - sjb@gmstalent.com, 281-687-9255

CAN I BECOME A LEADER?

After years of research, GMS Talent and Stephen J. Blakesley propose that there are only 6 parts describing the attributes of a leader. This is a discussion of the first of those 6 - PRESENCE!

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE-Social Management

This is the final episode on the five parts of Emotional Intelligence. Today we are going to talk about the fifth and final part – Social Management. But first lets digress a little and make certain we have captured all five parts of Emotional Intelligence. We first started with Self-Awareness, then moved to Self-Management, then to Self-Motivation, followed by Social Awareness and finally, today-SOCIAL MANAGEMENT.

As I think about Social Management, I have an image of first, recognizing what the emotional state of the group might be at the time but also having in mind what “state” you want the group to have. Some kind of strategy to change the group emotional state from what it might be to what you would want it to be. 

For instance, let’s say that your group (whatever it may be) is, for the most part anxious. They do not really know what to expect, for instance, to Optimism or one of focusing on the positive side and anticipating what it would be like to achieve the goal (any goal). What would be your strategy? Just as an aside, please remember that most people, when they hear a new goal from you are, within themselves, saying or asking the question, What’s in it for me? Always know that regardless of who you are talking too, they are thinking; that’s good for him but what about me?

Be certain that you devote special time and focus on giving them some insight into what is in it for them. Maybe that may take a little longer but it will be worth it-getting the whole group to focus on the “good reasons” they should achieve the goal or objective. 

So, this is just one instance but there are many. Many opportunities to change the mindset of your group from one attitude to another. Not all of your efforts will be successful, but many will. The first step, however, is to recognize the emotional state, in which your group is in. There may be several situations occur that you need to move ahead regardless of the group attitude but still the need to change the emotional state of the group is present. So first, you need to be able to recognize the state your group is currently in so you can develop a strategy to change it. Just like anything else the strategy may work or it may not.